fado72
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Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 Reply #1. Dec 23 23, 6:36 PM |
paulmallon
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I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first. Reply #2. Dec 26 23, 1:53 PM |
fado72
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What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. Reply #3. Jan 01 24, 6:41 PM |
Cymruambyth
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What did the table say to the chair? Nothing. Furniture can't talk. Reply #4. Jan 02 24, 8:00 AM |
paulmallon
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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan? Reply #5. Jan 09 24, 4:03 PM |
paulmallon
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I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope. Reply #6. Jan 10 24, 3:39 PM |
MarchHare007
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Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they get lost at 'c'. Reply #7. Jan 12 24, 12:14 AM |
paulmallon
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Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: CLOSE ENOUGH. Reply #8. Jan 12 24, 1:31 PM |
paulmallon
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Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Reply #9. Jan 15 24, 9:32 AM |
paulmallon
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We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages …… Metamucil and Ensure. Reply #10. Jan 15 24, 4:01 PM |
paulmallon
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ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Reply #11. Jan 29 24, 4:09 PM |
paulmallon
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Folks who have reached their 90th birthday should probably think twice before ordering any food "well done". Reply #12. Feb 27 24, 3:45 PM |
fado72
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark? As far away as possible! Reply #13. Feb 29 24, 7:32 PM |
H53
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Q: What did one Frenchman say to the other while they waited for the crosswalk light? A: I have no idea. I don't speak French. Reply #14. Mar 10 24, 7:20 PM |
Cymruambyth
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I'm so relieved. My doctor says I can buy green bananas. Reply #15. Mar 11 24, 11:47 AM |
paulmallon
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Subject: Fw: Aging - A Process - I'm not laughing ?ROMANCE Barb was lying in bed one night. Al was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me...Al Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..." Angrily, Al threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Barb asked.. "To get my teeth!" Reply #16. Mar 23 24, 3:40 PM |
frinkzappa
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I say I say I say! my friend has started twitching and swearing a lot lately and is convinced he is part of a tank.. so I says you have got Turrets syndrome ahem Reply #17. Apr 24 24, 12:21 PM |
frinkzappa
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o.k then, I see Richard Dawkins has invented a new monster Atheistzilla cue tumbleweed Reply #18. Apr 28 24, 3:24 AM |
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