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Eddie Izzard's Stand-Up Trivia Quiz

The funniest man on earth? Certainly the funniest to have come from Bexhill-on-Sea. The comedian voted 'best at dressing up in women's clothes', he's pre-occupied with jam and banjos - aren't we all?

A multiple-choice quiz by willuk100. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
willuk100

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
97,431

Updated
May 02 22

# Qns
20

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
12 / 20

Plays
1847

Last 3 plays: Dagny1 (20/20), Guest 165 (16/20), Guest 175 (4/20).

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 20

1. When Eddie does material about the Bible, whose voice does he use for God? Hint

Sean Connery

James Mason

James Hunt

Roger Moore

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Question 2 of 20

2. According to Eddie's stand-up about his sexuality, which of these is he NOT? Hint

An old queen

An executive transvestite

An action transvestite

A male tomboy

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Question 3 of 20

3. In Mr Izzard's routine about 'The Great Escape', what are the English POWs forged passports made from? Hint

Tin can and some jam

Soil from the tunnels

Teeth and buttocks cream

Twigs, mud and spit

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Question 4 of 20

4. What, according to Eddie, is your cat doing behind your sofa? Hint

Driving a bus

Cooking

Drilling

Making jam

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Question 5 of 20

5. Which of these is NOT one of Mr Izzard's shows? Hint

Glorious

Definite Article

Dress to Kill

Birdstrike

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Question 6 of 20

6. Eddie discusses the name Hitler, and how it could never be used now as a brand name. Apart from grapes, what other product might the Hitler brand name have graced? Hint

Teeth and buttocks cream

Jam

Knee balm

Banjos

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Question 7 of 20

7. In Eddie's rant about Pavlov, what nationality did he become, due to excitement, during his dog behaviour experiments? Hint

Welsh

Scottish

Belgian

Italian

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Question 8 of 20

8. What does Eddie think the Queen should do to earn the respect of ordinary people? Hint

Make jam

Go to Azerbaijan

Learn the banjo

Kill a crazy dog

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Question 9 of 20

9. In Izzard's world, at what age do old ladies start shouting out their age?

Answer: ( a two digit number ... it's between 70 and 100)

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Question 10 of 20

10. And what do old ladies buy at the supermarket? Hint

Cake or death

Jam

Hair-nets and dog food

'Ceasar' dog food

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Question 11 of 20

11. What did JFK say he was, in Mr Izzard's opinion, while visiting Berlin? Hint

A hamburger

A jam sandwich

A doughnut

A tin of dogfood

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Question 12 of 20

12. If the Bodyshop don't test their products on animals, what might the 'blue stuff' they discover in Eddie's routine be tested on? Hint

The Queen Mother

Jam

A banjo

Pavlov's cat

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Question 13 of 20

13. Bexhill, where Eddie hails from, is well known for being full of oldsters. What was the name of the old lady who was Eddie's playmate as a child? Hint

Mrs Heimlich

Slup Bun Waller

Mrs Badcrumble

Mrs Stevens

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Question 14 of 20

14. What do beekeepers cry when they lose their concentration? Hint

I'm an action transvestite!

I'm covered in jam!

I'm covered in bees!

Ich bin ein Berliner!

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Question 15 of 20

15. What does Eddie have with regard to computers, technology and machines? Hint

Techno music

Techno fear

Techno joy

Techno jam

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Question 16 of 20

16. In Eddie's routine about 007, which of these did James Bond NOT have as a gadget? Hint

Voice synthesizer

Watch that turns into a hamster

Jam trousers

Hat that turns into a Subbuteo table

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Question 17 of 20

17. What did Mrs Thatcher get instead of a heart, because God was running out of time during Genesis? Hint

A stone

Nothing

Jam

Banjos

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Question 18 of 20

18. When Eddie was growing up he wanted to join the Army?

True

False

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Question 19 of 20

19. What hymn is sung in Eddie's material about the Church of England? Hint

Thank God we've got some principles

Oh why is our singing so phenomenally dreary?

Oh God what on earth is my hair-do all about?

Jam-rusalem

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Question 20 of 20

20. "Before the Romans stole all the Greek gods, they had these crap gods, like Geoff the god of _________ " ? Hint

Biscuits

Hair-dos

Jam

Goats

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Most Recent Scores

Oct 20 2024 : Dagny1: 20/20
Oct 14 2024 : Guest 165: 16/20
Sep 28 2024 : Guest 175: 4/20
Sep 23 2024 : Guest 88: 15/20

Score Distribution

Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. When Eddie does material about the Bible, whose voice does he use for God?

Answer: James Mason

Mainly because he can't do many impressions. James Mason also stood in for JFK in a routine. Sean Connery is generally Noah.

2. According to Eddie's stand-up about his sexuality, which of these is he NOT?

Answer: An old queen

Although a cross-dresser, he is straight - as he explains, 'Most transvestites fancy girls.'

3. In Mr Izzard's routine about 'The Great Escape', what are the English POWs forged passports made from?

Answer: Tin can and some jam

When they get to the border control, the guards are a bit suspicious: 'It's a bit clangy and a bit jammy...' - 'Yes, I come from the steel and jam area of Stuttgart.'

4. What, according to Eddie, is your cat doing behind your sofa?

Answer: Drilling

You think it's purring, but no! It's all right, it's got goggles.

5. Which of these is NOT one of Mr Izzard's shows?

Answer: Birdstrike

Eddie is unlike many comedians in that he has done very little stand-up on TV - his shows are available on video or audio cassette only. A gamble that's paid off, giving him something of a 'rock star' status. 'Birdstrike' is a Harry Hill show - and bloody funny it is too.

6. Eddie discusses the name Hitler, and how it could never be used now as a brand name. Apart from grapes, what other product might the Hitler brand name have graced?

Answer: Knee balm

Jam made by Nazis (but not Hitler specifically) is mentioned.

7. In Eddie's rant about Pavlov, what nationality did he become, due to excitement, during his dog behaviour experiments?

Answer: Welsh

Mr I says his cat results would have let him down badly - they were hushed up.

8. What does Eddie think the Queen should do to earn the respect of ordinary people?

Answer: Kill a crazy dog

... with a handbag with a brick in it! Contrary to what the British National Anthem would have you believe the Queen does not need saving - she lives in a big house with guards and lots of money. Killing the crazy dog would show that she can fight for survival like the rest of us!

9. In Izzard's world, at what age do old ladies start shouting out their age?

Answer: 82

They also start to wear 'cake on the head' type hats around this time.

10. And what do old ladies buy at the supermarket?

Answer: Hair-nets and dog food

The hair nets are necessary because of the hair thieves ...

11. What did JFK say he was, in Mr Izzard's opinion, while visiting Berlin?

Answer: A doughnut

Kennedy must have thought that 'Ich bin ein Berliner,' means 'I am a doughnut'.

12. If the Bodyshop don't test their products on animals, what might the 'blue stuff' they discover in Eddie's routine be tested on?

Answer: A banjo

It could then be used for Bodyshop knee balm.

13. Bexhill, where Eddie hails from, is well known for being full of oldsters. What was the name of the old lady who was Eddie's playmate as a child?

Answer: Mrs Stevens

Mrs Heimlich's husband invented the famous manouvre. Mrs Badcrumble was Eddie's clarinet teacher. Slup Bun Waller was one of the many names suggested to Englebert Humpledink while still known as Gerry Dorsey.

14. What do beekeepers cry when they lose their concentration?

Answer: I'm covered in bees!

Because they're ... covered in bees.

15. What does Eddie have with regard to computers, technology and machines?

Answer: Techno joy

As he says, 'Throw the instructions out the window - I must know how this works, I've used machines before!'

16. In Eddie's routine about 007, which of these did James Bond NOT have as a gadget?

Answer: Voice synthesizer

The agent of Spector had a voice synthesiser placed in his throat.

17. What did Mrs Thatcher get instead of a heart, because God was running out of time during Genesis?

Answer: A stone

Which explains a lot.

18. When Eddie was growing up he wanted to join the Army?

Answer: True

He did - honest! He liked the 'running, jumping, climbing trees' part of it (because he was a 'male tomboy'). The down side was that 'There's not a lot of make-up in the Army. They only have that night-time look, and that's a bit slap dash.

19. What hymn is sung in Eddie's material about the Church of England?

Answer: Oh God what on earth is my hair-do all about?

At the church door the vicar says, 'Do come in, you're the only one today.'

20. "Before the Romans stole all the Greek gods, they had these crap gods, like Geoff the god of _________ " ?

Answer: Biscuits

Simon is the god of hair-dos, obviously.

Source: Author willuk100

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor gtho4 before going online.
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