The Worst Quiz of All Time 2.0

Answer: March 15, 1975

She is married to San Antonio Spurs basketball star Tony Parker.

Again, not much for interesting info here. Not only is this rather widely known, especially to anyone who can pick out Eva Longoria's birthday from a list, but given the transitory nature of both show business marriages and major sport team affiliation, this fact may well fall out of date rather quickly - they may be divorced, or he may change teams, or both, at any time. It would be much better to relate the anecdote that Longoria has long considered herself fluent in Spanish, but when being interviewed for Spanish television, she always conducts business in English. (Don't be too hard on her - as anyone who's done battle with the monster of language study can tell you, there remains a big difference between working fluency and native speaker ability. We do the best we can.)

Answer: Kayfabe

Kayfabe goes back to the carnival days of pro wrestling.

Of course, this is reasonably easy to figure out, and your audience deserves more than that.

Kayfabe is a variant of Pig Latin used to conceal the "truth" about wrestling from the general public - and, at times, from spouses. Probably its most well-known phrase is "kayfabe that", meaning "be careful of what you're saying - the marks (deceived spectators) can hear". However, this language is not common to ALL pro wrestlers. There seems to be an "inner circle" of particularly trusted grapplers who use this dialect; less trusted people, even veterans, aren't taught it. Well-known wrestler and manager "Classy" Freddie Blassie, for example, claimed (in his autobiography) to have never been taught the language; perhaps not coincidentally, he admits elsewhere in this memoir to having "playfully" sexually assaulted wrestlers who were just starting out. Conversely, respected old pro Gorilla Monsoon proudly sported "KAYFABE" on his license plates.

Answer: This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race

This song is by Fall Out Boy.

Let's face it: if they knew the title, they probably know it was a Fall Out Boy piece. If they didn't know the title, they probably don't much care who did the tune, and just naming the band isn't going to change that. This space is for INTERESTING information, not just someplace to type. You'd be much better off pointing out that this song is a broad critique of what the author, bass player Pete Wentz, sees as an increasingly derivative "emo" music trend which he and his band, to their chagrin, helped start. As Wentz says in an exclusive interview for "Rolling Stone's Rock and Roll Daily": "There may be other songs on the record that would be bigger radio hits, but this one had the right message." For the full piece on the band's album "Infinity on High," see https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/infinity-on-high-87888/

Answer: Jim Brown

Jim Brown led the league in rushing eight times.

Very true, but you might want to point out that Brown retired after winning his eighth rushing title - by all accounts, still at the top of his game. The other contenders weren't half bad, either: Rice retired with most of the major NFL records for receiving, holding many by wide margins. Thorpe was legendary for excelling in all phases of the game, being the most feared running back and place kicker of his time and earning such a reputation on defense that the major college award for defensive back play carries his name. Baugh was also a remarkably diverse player, once leading the league in passing, interceptions, and punting average - all in the same season.

Answer: A bandit

After this ruling, Jesus gets crucified.

Note: any fact that is known by 95% of the world's English-speaking audience is not good interesting information. Rather, it would be better to point out that Barabbas is called a "bandit" in the New Revised Standard Bible (a translation led by Princeton Professor Bruce Metzger and favored by many academics), a "robber" in the King James Bible (a 1611 translation commissioned by the crown that is one of the great landmarks in the history of the English language), and a "Jewish Freedom Fighter" in "The Message", a version of the Bible completed in 2002 that places more emphasis on colloquial language than on linguistic correctness. The New International Version, which is currently the top-selling edition in the United States and is favored especially among conservative and evangelical Christians, identifies Barabbas as a person who had "taken part in a rebellion".

It is worth pointing out that the original Greek term in this passage is "lestes", literally a plunderer. It is also interesting to note, however, that "Barabbas" literally means "son of the father". The reader is left to interpret this for themselves.

Answer: Citizen Kane

In the movie, Kane's last word is "Rosebud". This turns out to be....

OK, that would be bad. Unless you say in your introduction that there will be spoilers, don't put them in your quiz. Granted, revealing Rosebud is kind of a cliché, but avoid it anyway. Much better to point that this classic film, in addition to its fine script and acting, was innovatively photographed by Greg Tolland and pioneered visual effects like "deep focus" - where the background and foreground are equally clear - and use of the optical printer. In his commentary on the film, Roger Ebert repeats emphatically that there are probably as many effect shots in "Citizen Kane" as there are in "Star Wars".

Answer: The Beatles

Yes, I have asked this question before. Doesn't make it right.

McCartney's career as a bass player began in 1961 when he switched to the instrument from rhythm guitar. Paul succeeded the "fifth Beatle" Stu Sutcliffe on the four-stringed instrument when Sutcliffe conceded that he would never be a professional-quality musician; the departing Beatle would pass away soon thereafter. Since his days with the Beatles, McCartney has gradually drifted away from the instrument, increasingly favoring rhythm guitar and piano from the 1980s onward.

Answer: Die Hard

Perhaps the greatest maxim of quizwriting is that it IS writing. That means your questions should be good prose. If you think players don't care if your quizzes are well written, just read the above question again and ask yourself if you'd want to answer TEN like that.

"Die Hard" did seem to inspire an entire sub-genre of similar films. Willis himself once referred to "Speed" as "'Die Hard' on a bus". (The preceding, by the way, is much better than "Die Hard came out in 1988, and Speed came out in 1994. Speed was really good, too.")

Also, this question would probably work better as a multiple choice given what a horrible clue you had to work with - but hey, this is the worst quiz ever. You knew what you were getting into.

Answer: Moses Maimonides

If your user ID is Janetgool or Arpeggionist, I sincerely hope you went for the full Monty above. For the rest of us, it is worth pointing out that this scholar's name is usually given in its Greek form, Moses Maimonides, though his proper Hebrew name was Moshe ben Maimon.

This is as good a question as any to point out that you don't always want to make questions tough to answer. In the Quizzyland environment, quizzes serve to inform and express as well as to challenge. I personally have gotten very good marks on quizzes whose answers were relatively easy, but whose interesting information conveyed a message well beyond: "Hey, you got it right!" For example, Maimonides' thirteen principles of faith are:

The existence of G-d
G-d's unity
G-d's spirituality and incorporeality
G-d's eternity
G-d alone should be the object of worship
Revelation through G-d's prophets
The preeminence of Moses among the prophets
G-d's law given on Mount Sinai
The immutability of the Torah as G-d's Law
G-d's foreknowledge of human actions
Reward of good and retribution of evil
The coming of the Jewish Messiah
The resurrection of the dead

So, if you were wondering about this from the question, now you know. Maimonides is also known for the "Mishneh Torah" (a systematic codification of Jewish Law) and "The Guide for the Perplexed" (a philosophical treatise ranging well outside traditional Judaism).

Also, referring to other players as I did above isn't something I'd encourage. Remember - this is a BAD quiz!

Answer: The death of Darwin's daughter, Anna

Respect for religious matters does cut both ways; A question like: "When did Watergate figure Chuck Colson accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior?" should also be tempered to show respect for non-Christians - not to mention those who are frankly skeptical of Colson.

Darwin did indeed study for the ministry at Cambridge before his time as a naturalist on the worldwide sojourns of the HMS Beagle during the 1830s, and was known on that ship for frequent quotation of scripture as an authority of morality. While working out his initial theories on natural selection, Darwin held to his belief in the Christian God as the "prime mover" of life on Earth, a position held by many Christians in the sciences today who accept the basic premises of Darwin's work.

Darwin's separation from Christianity did not come until 1851, when his daughter Annie passed away following a painful illness that lasted almost a year. As he would later write: "That there is much suffering in the world no one disputes. Some have attempted to explain this with reference to man by imagining that it serves for his moral improvement. But the number of men in the world is as nothing compared with that of all other sentient beings, and they often suffer greatly without any moral improvement. This very old argument from the existence of suffering against the existence of an intelligent First Cause seems to me a strong one; whereas, as just remarked, the presence of much suffering agrees well with the view that all organic beings have been developed through variation and natural selection." Darwin's wife continued to attend services with their remaining children (while the scientist, who usually walked them to the church door, indulged in a morning constitutional). She held to nonconformist Unitarian beliefs, however, and did not take communion.

Thanks so much for taking this quiz, as well as for indulging my arrogance in thinking that my grievous errors might be of some instruction. If you have any corrections or comments - especially ones that will improve this quiz, please let me know.