American Diner Slang: Order Up! Quiz

Answer: Burn the British

"Burn the British" means to serve an English muffin toasted. Of course, this slang also contains some ironic American Revolutionary fervour based on historic events, which, since I am a quiz writer born in Britain, I quite enjoy. Obviously you would not return to a diner where they actually burned the muffin, or the British (although that's debatable), but most good cooks wouldn't take that order literally, I'm sure!

Answer: Two cows, make 'em cry

"Two cows, make 'em cry" is pretty obvious when you think about it. It does have much more grace and wit than those other three dreadful answers I made up!

What is interesting about this piece of slang is the almost poetic imagery. I have not been able to find out how this originated, but obviously whoever invented it is a master or mistress of wry humour. Such is often the nature of slang terms which stick around to delight us for a long time.

Answer: Life-preserver

Obviously the slang name of "life-preserver" for a doughnut comes from its ring-like shape. But I think there is more wit here of an almost allegorical nature. If you want a quick sugary fix to jump-start your day, someone needs to throw you a life-preserver, and the doughnut, with all its glazings and sweet coatings, is the thing that is going to do it!

No wonder doughnuts are a favourite at office coffee counters.

Answer: Water

Obviously (and some might say sadly) for Adam, there were no breweries in the Garden of Eden. For inventors of this piece of slang, therefore, it is not an unwise assumption to presume that water was all that would be available in that first Paradise when a thirst-quencher was required. It is also quite poetic to realize that water means purity and that one cannot be made drunk by it, and so be led into sin.

And if you wanted the water with no ice, don't forget to ask for Adam's Ale without the Hail!

Answer: Eggs, wreck 'em

Again, as with many slang phrases, it is hard to find their origins, and even when theories are in place, they are only suppositions. In this case, therefore, the idea of scrambled eggs being eggs which are wrecked is a nice little turn of phrase. There they sit in the bowl, pure white and pure gold in all their symmetry until the cook sticks in that whisk and destroys their integrity. My goodness, I so surprise myself with metaphor sometimes!

Answer: Side-arms

Well, there you are at the diner. You have your Adam and Eve on a Raft (poached egg on toast), and on one side of the blue plate you have one salt shaker and on the other you have the pepper. What else could they be but side-arms?

Answer: Tomato Soup

Well I can understand the splash of red for a good heart-warming bowl of tomato soup, particularly with a grilled cheese on the side. However, I am not sure, nor could I find the origin of "noise" in this phrase. Strange. I see tomato soup as calming rather than noisy, but it is what it is in the weird world of diner lingo.

Answer: Axle grease

Yep. That's right. Axle grease is butter. Not an appetizing description, nor particularly accurate. Axle grease is black, while butter is gloriously golden. I'd say that "artery grease" would be a better term, wouldn't you? Better, but wrong!

Answer: On a raft

So much of my imagination has to go into these descriptions, since origins are hard to find. But, again, whatever is served on toast, be they eggs, cheese and so on, all are essentially sitting on that toasty raft. If you are at a greasy spoon diner, then the raft is in a sea of oil.

Answer: Ketchup on it

Ketchup on top of meatloaf is a diner classic, not to mention extremely delicious. I like the imagery here with this piece of lingo. Not only is the cook literally painting the meatloaf red with ketchup, but more figuratively speaking you are painting it red in the sense that we "paint the town red" - going all out for a fun time!