Dennis Miller: Ranting Again Trivia Quiz

Answer: False

He ends each chapter with "Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong." He does state towards the beginning of each chapter, "Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here..."

Answer: M.A.N.T.I.S.

"A perfect example of how imperfect the TV rating system is is the fact that a few years ago the show 'M.A.N.T.I.S.' was taken off the air. One of the greatest shows ever, it was about a guy who was half man, half praying mantis and he fought crime. And they cancel it! A regular guy, who when trouble reared its ugly head, half of him would turn into a praying mantis! Don't you see the beauty of that, for chrissakes? Why didn't any of you people watch...why? Sorry, but I guess there's a little mantis inside all of us. Manty, we hardly knew ye."
I cleaned up the quotes a bit but left his sarcasm intact. The book was released in 1998 and of that time, "Wheel of Fortune" was still on the air and "Temptation Island" had not yet aired. I threw in "Chico and the Man", myself.

Answer: Violence in Media

"This is an issue that concerns me deeply, because I personally, am a victim of media violence. Every movie I'm in, I get killed halfway through. I'm like the guy on 'Star Trek' in the red shirt."
One of Dennis' solutions is to bring Jimmy Carter in to mediate between the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote because "this Sicilian thing has got to stop."

Answer: The Pursuit of Happiness

"So why, in this land if freedom and plenty, are we loaded to the gills with Zoloft? Why do people miss work yearly due to depression than to any other physical malady? Why are we such alcoholic, sex-and-drug-addicted, binging and purging, compulsively gambling, ulcer-ridden basket cases? Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but most Americans are sadder than Bob Villa's neighbor trying to sleep in."
On a more serious note, he believes that we are actually taught to be unhappy. People always have expectations that let them down and feel that the "grass in always greener."

Answer: False

"Now true believers say that Area 51 is hiding something, because if you go there, they won't let you in and they won't tell you what you what they have there. You know why that is? Because it's a freaking military installation! All right, what do you think if you go to Areas 1-50, you're going to get some chardonnay and a piece of Gouda? No, you're not. You're going to get turned away faster than Roger Clinton trying to get backstage at a Marilyn Manson concert!"

Answer: Computers

"Just when did all this computer stuff happen anyway? You know, one day I was playing Pong, the next thing I know Wes, the gas meter guy with the eye patch, has an uplink to a satellite on his tool belt."

"No matter what computer you buy, no matter how much you spend, by the time you get it to your car, it's an eight-track tape player."

Answer: Lying

"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here...actually, that's a lie, I do want to get off on a rant here. I'm talking about something that everybody does, nobody admits, and when they get caught doing it, they always have a good excuse. No, I'm not talking about laughing hysterically during 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' I'm talking about lying."

Answer: Family

"Your family are the people the people who cut you the most slack and give you the most chances. I mean, when Richard Dawson says, 'Name something you find in a refrigerator' and you say 'A Dictionary', and the rest of America is screaming 'You Moron' at their TV sets, who's clapping and saying 'Good Answer, Good Answer?' Your family, that's who!"

Answer: Political Correctness

"Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but when did the contents of our melting pot go from creamy to super chunk? You know, if you're going to insist on telling me it's natural for people of all races and ethnicities to get along, well you're living in a fantasy world of elves and fairies. And incidentally, elves and fairies didn't get along either."
ts. Truth be told, if you check everyone's family tree you'd realize that everybody in this nation is an immigrant except the Indians. I'm sorry, they're not called Indians anymore, they're called Casino Owner Americans."

Answer: Lawyers

"You know there's an old joke that goes, 'What Do You Call a Hundred Lawyers at the Bottom of the Ocean?' and the answer is 'A Good Start.' Uh... well, no, it isn't a good start. Because if you put a hundred lawyers on the bottom of the ocean, pretty soon every fish and crustacean will be talked into a class action suit naming Mrs. Paul, Arthur Treacher, and the freaking Gorton's fisherman as defendants."