Fantasy Football : Loose Cannons (soccer) Quiz

Answer: The scorpion kick

René Higuita, aka "El Loco", used the scorpion kick in a high profile friendly against England at Wembley Stadium in 1995 to save a shot on goal by Jamie Redknapp. Football fans around the globe sat gobsmacked after this dash of tomfoolery, and applauded the theatrics. Had it gone wrong, Higuita might have ended up with more than the proverbial egg on his face once back in Colombia. The match ended 0-0.

It did all go wrong at the 1990 World Cup in Italy when Colombia got knocked out in the first round of the knockout stage by Cameroon. In extra time, Colombia were 1-0 down and Higuita received the ball while he was way out of his area. Cameroon striker, and author of the first goal, Roger Milla took the ball off him and had a clear run at goal. 2-0 Cameroon. Colombia pulled one back, but Higuita's buffoonery had caught up with him.

Higuita represented his country sixty-eight times and scored eight goals for them. He scored over thirty goals in his career, which is impressive for a goalkeeper until you consider Brazilian goalkeeper Rogério Ceni who scored over a hundred goals in his career, which is more than some strikers.

Answer: Roma

The scandal, which involved high profile players from Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay, Cameroon, and Uruguay, centred on players claiming fake Italian ancestry in order to get dual-nationality. Italian nationality meant that teams could avoid the limit on non-European Union citizens that had been imposed on Italian teams. In Cafu's case, he'd got Italian nationality through his wife's Italian heritage. His passport was originally confirmed as bona fide, but then in 2004 he was in court again. He was acquitted, but arrested in 2006 as the case reared its ugly head once more. He was released the next day.

Cafu signed for Roma from Palmeiras in 1997 and he stayed in the Italian capital until 2003. He appeared for Roma one hundred and sixty-three times and scored five goals. He went to A.C. Milan, where he stayed five years, appeared over a hundred times times, scored four goals, and won the UEFA Champions League.

He has been capped for Brazil an incredible hundred and forty-two times and won the World Cup in 1994 and 2002. He also played in the 1998 final that Brazil lost to France.

Answer: Arsenal

Leeds United beat title-holders Arsenal in the 1972 FA Cup 1-0 thanks to a cracking header by Allan Clarke in the 53rd minute. It was the club's first FA Cup win.

Hunter was well aware of his lack of skill, and admitted in an interview with The Independent newspaper in 1999 that "the gaffer (Don Revie) would say to me, `Norman. You win the ball and you give it to those who can play.' And that was Giles, Bremner, Gray, Cooper and people like that. Not bad options, were they?" However, he was a vital player in the iconic Leeds United team of the 1960s and 1970s, a team that actually underachieved considering how much they dominated but how little silverware they actually won.

In the FA Cup, in 1970 Leeds United drew 1-1 with fierce rivals Chelsea warranting a replay that Chelsea won 2-1, lost 2-1 to Liverpool in 1965, and lost 1-0 to Sunderland in 1973.

Hunter was a football hard-man in the days when you had to practically hospitalize someone to get a red card. His formidable reputation went before him, as illustrated in the following anecdote: Hunter suffered a broken leg, Leeds squad trainer Les Cocker was told "Hunter has broken a leg" and he asked innocently "whose?"

Answer: Spain

The 1982 FIFA World Cup ended with the final between Italy and West Germany at the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium, Madrid. Italy was by far the stronger team and won 3-1. The West Germany goal was scored by our man Breitner, who had been a member of the West Germany 1974 World Cup winning team. He scored also in that final, in which West Germany beat The Netherlands 2-1. Although the goal against Italy meant little as regards to the outcome, it made Breitner a member of the very exclusive club of footballers who have scored in two World Cup Finals.

The 1986 FIFA World Cup was in Mexico, in 1978 it was in Argentina, and in West Germany in 1974.

Breitner started his career at Bayern Munich in 1970. He joined Real Madrid in 1974, but was back at Bayern Munich in 1978. With Bayern Munich he won five German league titles, and the UEFA European Cup in 1974.

In the 1970s Paul Breitner posed in front of a poster of Chairman Mao whilst reading a Communist newspaper, grew an afro and a big bushy beard that really made him look the part of the anti-conformist, leftist rabble-rouser. West Germany manager Helmut Schön singled him out as the ringleader in a players' strike that preceded the 1974 World Cup. However, in 1982 he seemed to have a change of heart and accepted the offer from a shaving foam company to shave off his famous beard. Later, he appeared in a TV advert for a multinational fast food chain, and later on one for a German car manufacturer.

Answer: Cameroon

In the 1990 FIFA World Cup, Group B was made up of Argentina, Cameroon, Romania, and the Soviet Union. Cameroon had a fantastic team, as did Argentina. In the 89th minute of the game, which Argentina were losing thanks to an Omam-Biyik goal in the 67th minute, Caniggia made an incredible run. Massing had to do something as his team mates had tried and failed to take him out, so he brought him down with a blatant foul. Massing already had a yellow card, so he was sent off.

However, Cameroon won the match and the group, with Romania coming second and Argentina third. Cameroon were knocked out by England in the quarter-finals, whereas Argentina got to the final where they were defeated by West Germany. Caniggia scored against rivals Brazil in the round of 16, the only goal in the match, and then scored against hosts Italy in the semi-finals taking the match to penalties, which Argentina won. He missed the final due to a ban he'd picked up for two yellow cards in earlier matches.

Although Caniggia's tenure at many clubs was very brief, he's a cult-hero for fans everywhere he has played. Caniggia's cocaine use got him a ban in 1993 whilst playing for Italian club Roma, and he moved on to Benifica when the ban had run its course, just in time for the 1994 World Cup, in which he scored twice against Nigeria at the group stage.

Argentina played the 1998 World Cup sans Caniggia, and were knocked out in the quarter-finals.

Answer: Manchester United v Manchester City

Haaland played for Leeds United from 1997 to 2000, and in a clash between the arch rivals in 1997 he mocked Keane as the latter lay on the ground. Haaland claimed Keane was faking an injury to draw attention away from the dodgy tackle he'd made.

Haaland signed for Manchester City in 2000, and in the Manchester derby in 2001 Keane committed a blatant, brutal tackle high on Haaland's knee. Keane was red-carded. For City, the match was vital to their hopes of staying up in the Premier League, hopes which were later dashed. Keane later admitted that he had wanted "to hurt him", and that it had indeed been premeditated. The match ended 1-1.

Throughout his playing career Keane had numerous rivalries going on, and picked up thirteen red cards, roughly the same as his nemesis, Patrick Vieira. Vieira's captaincy of Arsenal coincided with Keane's of Manchester United, and the two clashed many a time. In one amusing incident Keane criticized Vieira's choice of playing for France rather than his native Senegal, to which Vieira's witty riposte was that Keane was hardly in any position to talk about national loyalty as he had left the Irish national team high and dry at the beginning of the 2002 FIFA World Cup finals. But that's another story....

Answer: Vinnie Jones

Whilst any of the players mentioned were likely candidates in terms of style of play, the honour goes to Vinnie Jones.

The Gazza incident was during a game at Wimbledon's shoddy stadium, Plough Lane, and Gazza was trying to mark Jones. Vinnie nonchalantly stepped on a rather naïve Gazza's foot, got hold of his "family jewels", and squeezed. Gazza has since fathered children, so maybe Vinnie wasn't such a hard man. Gazza didn't actually cry, on that occasion.

Vinnie Jones was a pivotal player in the late-1980s Wimbledon team who surprised everybody by doing so well in the top tier of English football. In 1988 they went further and won the FA Cup in a shock victory over Liverpool. He thrived on his reputation as a football hard-nut, and the criticism he got for his agressive style of playing. He was even proud of holding the record for the fastest ever booking in English footballing history: three seconds.

Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne started his career at Newcastle United, for whom he made his debut in 1985. He signed for Tottenham Hotspur in 1988, where his talent really blossomed over his four-year stay. In 1992 he moved to Lazio, and although his time there was troubled, he is remembered fondly by Lazio fans for his goal in the Roma/Lazio derby, and his well-documented pranks played on team-mates. He then moved to Glasgow Rangers, where he scored thirty goals, more than for any other club in his career.

At his best he was able to take apart opponent's defenses and cut through teams like a knife through butter. Gazza was capped for England fifty-seven times, scored ten goals, and set up countless others. When England lost the semi-final against Germany at UEFA Euro '96, Gazza left the pitch in tears.

Gazza's playing career was blighted by alcohol abuse, problems with fitness, and clashes with club management. Although his madcap behaviour (on and off the pitch) won him the hearts of many fans, match officials and football governing bodies weren't always so entertained. Since details of his fragile mental health have come to light, his erratic behavior has taken on a whole new meaning. When Gazza was having a rough time in 2008, Vinnie published a touching open letter to Gazza saying "If I could grab a part of you now it would be your heart".

Answer: Republic of Ireland

The Republic of Ireland didn't qualify, and were actually knocked out by France in one of the most controversial World Cup qualifiers ever thanks to a goal scored by William Gallas. The controversy was that the goal came from one of the most blatant handballs in football history, committed, and later admitted, by Thierry Henry. The incident became known as "Hand of Frog" in some quarters.

Franck Ribéry wasn't the only French player involved in the prostitute scandal, and it wasn't a one off, but an organized prostitution ring. Magistrates released a report stating that any player under investigation should not be allowed to represent France in the upcoming World Cup, and then immediately stated that in fact, Ribéry was not under investigation. He had admitted having paid to have sex with the girl in question, but claimed he was unaware she was underage. Other high profile players involved included Sidney Govou and Karim Benzema.

Ribéry is one of the best wingers of his generation, but has had to deal with centre-stage professional disappointment on numerous occasions. With Bayern Munich he was a UEFA Champions League runner-up in both 2010 and 2012, and with his national team he was a FIFA World Cup runner-up in 2006. Incidentally, Italy, to whom France lost in that final, were also knocked out of the 2010 World Cup at the group stage, without a single win, and last in the table.

Answer: He scored

Zidane had actually retired from international football, but was persuaded to come back and captain the French team for this one last blast. He scored a penalty in the 7th minute of the game, making him one of the few players to score in two World Cup Finals. He'd already been given the Golden Ball award for the most outstanding player in the tournament.

The French lead was leveled in the 19th minute, and the teams were still drawing at the end of normal full-time. In extra time, Zidane almost scored again, but Italian keeper Buffon denied him.

It then all went pear-shaped as seven hundred and fifteen million (according to Fifa) viewers around the world sat flabbergasted as they watched Zidane, not known for his unpredictable behavior, totally lose it. Allegedly, Italian defender Marco Materazzi kept grabbing Zidane's shirt, so he said "if you want my shirt so badly, we'll exchange them at the end of the match", to which the Italian defender, not known for his diplomacy, said something like "I'd rather have your sister" (he said it rather more crudely). Zidane turned and charged Materazzi like a goat, knocking him to the ground. He got a straight red-card and left international football in what some pundits regard as disgrace. Materazzi later admitted he didn't even know Zidane had a sister.

The game went to penalties, and Italy won their fourth World Cup title. It has been claimed that Materazzi was cunningly attempting to get Zidane sent off, but as anybody who has followed Materazzi's career will testify, he's hardly the astute, perceptive type.

It was a rather unceremonious end to a fabulous career of one of the era's greatest players. Zidane's professional career is the stuff of legends, having won the Italian league with Juventus in 1997 and 1998, the Spanish league in 2003 and the UEFA Champions League in 2002 with Real Madrid. With his national team Zidane won the World Cup in 1998, and the European Cup two years later.

Answer: Crystal Palace

Éric Cantona had been sent off for kicking Palace defender Richard Shaw. In one of English football's most bizarre moments, Cantona flew feet-first at the supporter, and then piled in with a series of punches. It is generally believed that the fan had insulted him using an anti-French slur, but Éric's enigmatic press statement was: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much." Quite what he meant remains obscure, but the footballer-cum-poet seemed chuffed with himself. He got a two-month prison sentence that was reduced to 120 hours of community service. The English FA had a field day and banned the striker for eight months, which fans of other clubs welcomed with open arms. In his five-year stint at Manchester United he appeared one hundred and forty-three times and scored sixty-four goals.

Cantona has had a chequered past as a French international, partly due to the assault on the Palace fan, but also because of the chopping and changing of managers that the squad suffered. Cantona was actually captain at the time of the assault, but was sidelined after it. When his ban had run its course, new blood like Zidane had come through, and Éric was out. He has stated in numerous interviews that he resents his treatment by the echelons of French football to the extent that he is more likely to support either his adoptive country, England, or his paternal homeland, Italy, in international tournaments.

Cantona never really got over the incident (although he scored against Liverpool in his comeback match), and he retired from professional football in 1997, aged just thirty. He went on to get involved in film as both an actor and a director.

Answer: Napoli

There is so much to be said about Maradona, arguably the greatest footballer of all time, that there is little to say.

He joined Napoli in 1984 from Barcelona, and reached his professional peak with the Italian club where he is still one of the club's all-time heroes. However, his problems with recreational drugs also reached a peak during his time with the club and he was continuously given fines for missing training sessions. He also narrowly avoided a huge scandal regarding an illegitimate son that he fathered. That son, Diego Sinagra, later became a professional footballer and went to play in Argentina. He was also linked with the local mafia mob, the Camorra.

Maradona had played with Boca Juniors before signing for Barcelona in 1982. He ended his playing career there in 1998 and went into management. The only time he has played for an English club was when he appeared for Tottenham Hotspur at Osvalso Adiles' testimonial match, which was just before the "Hand of God" debacle. Spurs beat Internazionale 2-1.

As manager of Argentina at the 2010 World Cup his squad underachieved and he was relieved of his duties at the end of the tournament.

Answer: The butcher from Bilbao

Olaskoaga came through the youth system at Athletic Bilbao and made his first appearance in the senior team in 1975. He went on to play for them 279 times, in which he scored 35 goals. The club was most successful under the management of Javier Clemente, with whom they won the Spanish League in 1983 and 1984. In 1984, Athletic Bilbao also won the prestigious Copa del Rey, and the Supercopa de España.

It was during this period that Olaskoaga got his name "the butcher from Bilbao", probably coined by FC Barcelona pundits since a fierce rivalry had developed between the two teams. The rivalry was initially between managers Clemente and Barcelona's manager César Menotti, but it was fuelled by our Olaskoaga's brutal challenge on Diego Maradona in a league game in September 1983. When the teams met in the final of Copa del Rey in 1984, it ended in a free-for-all pitch brawl in which both "the beast" and Maradona were heavily involved. Athletic Bilbao won the match 1-0.

Answer: Milan

The game was the first leg of the round of 16. At the group stage Tottenham had given title-holders, and Milan's city rivals, Internazionale a run for their money, losing the first leg 4-3, and then beating them 3-1 in the second, so expectations and tensions were high from the kick-off.

Milan midfielder Frenchman Mathieu Flamini made a terrible, and dangerous, tackle on Spurs' defender Vedran Corluka that saw the Croatian have to leave the pitch in the 59th minute, and Gattuso got a yellow card for fouling Peter Crouch.

Tottenham Hotspur's coach Joe Jordan was allegedly winding-up the irascible Gattuso, leading to Gattuso grabbing him by the throat on the touchline. At the end of the match, which Spurs won 1-0 thanks to a late Crouch goal, Gattuso ran over, bare-chested, and head-butted Jordan.

The second-leg ended 0-0, knocking Milan out.

Joe Jordon joined Milan after having played for Manchester United and Leeds United. At Milan he played from 1981-1983, so Gattuso (born 1978) is just old enough to remember him. Gattuso played for Milan from 1999 to 2012 and was often referred to as the "engine" or "motor" of the team. He had previously played in Jordan's native Scotland, for Rangers, from 1997 to 1998.

Answer: Celtic

Diouf has seemed to thrive on antagonism, apparently actively looking for trouble. In some cases, claims that he spat on people lacked proof, but in March 2003 it was there to be seen. He initially denied it, but owned up eventually. He got two weeks' wages docked from his own club, a two-match ban from UEFA, and a £5,000 fine from the authorities. When he later played for Rangers, Celtic's fierce rivals, it was bound to kick-off. Indeed it did during the March 2011 Old Firm Derby when Diouf was involved in a fracas that also involved Celtic manager Neil Lennon. Diouf was sent off, and got another £5,000 fine.

As a player, Diouf is world class and haas shown the ability play on either wing or as a striker, but many managers have shown reluctance to sign him due to his abrasive character. He debuted in the English Premiership for Liverpool in 2002, but by 2004 he had become unpopular at the club. He went to Bolton Wanderers, and then Roy Keane signed him for Sunderland, ironically because of his bad reputation which Keane hoped would galvanize the team.

Neil Warnock signed Diouf for Leeds United in 2012 in an attempt to give the promotion hopefuls a bit of experience. The move was somewhat surprising seeing as Warnock had called Diouf "lower than a sewer rat" in 2011 after Diouf, at the time playing for Blackburn Rovers, had allegedly insulted QPR player Jamie Mackie as he lay strewn on the pitch with a broken leg.

Diouf got his first international cap in 2000, and was an important member of the Senegal team in the 2002 Fifa World Cup. However, in 2004 he got a four-match ban for "verbal assault" on a referee.

Answer: Swindon Town

When Di Canio retired as a player in 2008, he decided to go into management and joined Swindon Town in May 2011. GMB Union stopped backing the club because of Di Canio's openly-expressed fascist views. It was during Di Canio's second tenure at Lazio that his fascist political views came to the fore. Although it's a huge generalization to say that Lazio fans have fascist sympathies, there are significant numbers among the team's "Ultras" (hardcore fans-cum-hooligans) who do have, and Di Canio's recognition of that through giving the fascist salute during/at the end of games angered anti-fascist organisations, those who wish to keep football apolitical, and Lazio's owners.

When Di Canio joined Swindon Town, the club had just been relegated to League Two. By the end of the season Di Canio had got them promoted to League One. It hadn't been a smooth ride though, and Di Canio had showed that the irascible character we had seen on the pitch hadn't calmed down at all. Right at the beginning of the season he was seen scrapping with Swindon Town striker Leon Clarke at the side of the pitch after losing to Southampton, and many feared he didn't have the temperament to be a manager. However, he proved them wrong, and he's my choice of manager because he's zealous, hungry and above all bonkers enough to hold this gang of loose cannons together.

Paolo Di Canio signed for Lazio in 1985 when he was eighteen, and stayed with the club for five years, before moving to Juventus, Napoli, A.C. Milan, Celtic and Sheffield Wednesday. He signed for West Ham United in 1999, and he quickly gained hero status for his brilliant play (including some classic goals), and somewhat madcap behaviour. After leaving West Ham, he went to Charlton Athletic, then back home to Lazio, where his arrival was greeted like the return of the prodigal son.