"Festivus for the Rest of Us" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Feast

There is no set menu for the Festivus feast, but the imbibing of alcohol is recommended. In 2000, you could have included Ben and Jerry's limited edition Festivus ice cream in your celebration. You don't want to do so now - any remaining containers would be really old. But it was very tasty - cinnamon ice cream with gingerbread cookies and caramel swirls.

Answer: 1966 - Daniel O'Keefe

It's understandable if you selected "The Scots" - they invented everything else, but the rudimentary traditions of Festivus first emerged from the mind of writer Daniel O'Keefe. Maybe I should have mentioned that he was the father of "Seinfeld" writer, Dan O'Keefe. Depending on the source, the elder O'Keefe either stumbled on the general idea in a book of obscure holidays or the idea just popped into his head.

In either case, he embellished it with his own unique touches over the years, many of which were included in the now legendary "Seinfeld" episode.

Answer: December 23rd

The official day of Festivus, according to all of the authoritative sources, is December 23rd - halfway between the winter solstice and Christmas Day. Most of us were first introduced to the holiday on December 18th, 1997 when "The Strike" episode of "Seinfeld" was first televised.

In case you've forgotten over the years, the title of the episode refers to Kramer's multi-year strike from the bagel shop where he was employed.

Answer: A doll

I can't improve on the original "Seinfeld" transcript so here goes:

Frank Costanza: "Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way."
Cosmo Kramer: "What happened to the doll?"
Frank Costanza: "It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born ... a Festivus for the rest of us!"
Cosmo Kramer: "That must've been some kind of doll."
Frank Costanza: "She was."

Of course, Frank didn't truly invent Festivus, but no one was brave enough to tell him so.

Answer: A metal pole

Ironically, although it is now the defining symbol of Festivus, the Festivus pole was not included in the early celebrations of the holiday. The first mention of the pole was on the "Seinfeld" episode, "The Strike", so it does appear that Frank Costanza can legitimately lay claim to its invention. Aluminum is recommended, but any metallic-looking pole can suffice.

Answer: The Airing of Grievances

The Airing of Grievances actually dates back to the early celebrations of Festivus although the grievances were tape-recorded rather than verbally-belted at each other. Some of those early historic tape recordings still exist and are closely guarded by the O'Keefe family.

The grievances aren't limited to those present at the dinner; you can complain about anything or anybody you want. There is none of that touchy-feely stuff involved; no hugging or making-up after the carnage.

Answer: The Feats of Strength

The Feats of Strength consist of a wrestling match between the head of the family and his chosen opponent, and the festivities are not completed until the head of the family is pinned. According to the tradition, the chosen opponent has the option to decline the match if he has something better to do.

This tradition has evolved over time, since the original Festivus celebration called for the wrestling match to be between the children of the household. Nowadays, some wimpy participants opt for a thumb wrestling match instead.

Answer: A clock

The clock in the bag tradition dates back to the early days of Festivus but has sadly fallen by the wayside over the years, probably since no one can remember the reason for it. Frank Costanza chose to ignore it entirely in his celebration of the holiday. We can only speculate on the meaning of the tradition. Perhaps it signified an attempt to keep time from passing by, or perhaps it merely was a way of keeping the clock from being used as a projectile.

Answer: An annual theme

The assignment of an annual theme may have been neglected on the "Seinfeld" episode, but it goes back to the early days of Festivus. One of the early themes, for example, was "Is there light at the end of the tunnel?" Each family should choose a theme with significance to them; thus, my theme for the past few years has been "When is PDAZ going to get a Lucky Duck?"

Answer: Happy Festivus

"Happy Festivus" seems rather mundane compared to the rest of the holiday. Perhaps it is an attempt to make the holiday more acceptable to the masses. This, of course, isn't necessary as the people who celebrate Festivus typically aren't the types who care what other people think.