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It's a Paul Keating insults quiz, scumbags!

Love him or hate him, Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating certainly had the gift of the gab--no more so than when he was hurling insults at his opponents. Let's look at a few of his classics.

A multiple-choice quiz by lorance79. Estimated time: 4 mins.

Author
lorance79

Time
4 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
353,237

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
6 / 10

Plays
348

Awards
Top 35% Quiz

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. What did Keating say was like "being flogged with a warm lettuce"? Hint

Criticism from Liberal Leader John Hewson

Criticism from talkback radio callers

Criticism from the media

Criticism from the public via poor polling results

NEXT>

Question 2 of 10

2. Keating once referred to then-Prime Minister John Howard as which of the following? Hint: you can't make ANZAC biscuits without it! Hint

Cold porridge

Desiccated coconut

Stale breadcrumbs

A little chook egg

NEXT>

Question 3 of 10

3. Keating described Prime Minister John Howard as the "greatest job and investment destroyer since _____________" Hint

the Great Depression

the bubonic plague

sliced bread

the Bolshevik revolution

4. Complete this Keating insult from 2007:

"For Mr Howard to get to the high moral ground, he would first need to climb out of the volcanic hole he had dug for himself over the last decade. It is like one of those diamond mine holes in South Africa. They are about a mile underground. He would have to come a mile up to get to even equilibrium let alone have any contest in morality with ___________" Hint

the Chaser boys

Paul Keating

Kevin Rudd

the Governor General

NEXT>

Question 5 of 10

5. In an infamous Keating moment captured by news cameras, he turned to a group of people and shouted "Go and get a job!" Who was he addressing? Hint

University students protesting against fees

Single mothers hanging out at the shopping centre

Unemployed people lining up to receive the dole

Refugees receiving free English lessons

NEXT>

Question 6 of 10

6. Keating's colleagues weren't immune from his bite. Complete the following (bowdlerised) quote.

"Just because you __________________ doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of [mud] over the rest of us Hint

swallowed a dictionary when you were about 15

were voted "boy most likely" in fifth form

have thirty seven degrees from the University of Lah-Di-Dah

are the longest-serving mayor of Perfect Town

NEXT>

Question 7 of 10

7. "The thing about poor old ________ is he is all tip and no iceberg."

Which Treasurer and frustrated leadership aspirant was Paul Keating referring to in this quote? Hint

Tony Abbott

Peter Costello

Wayne Swan

Bob Hawke

NEXT>

Question 8 of 10

8. Keating claimed that the Opposition "could not raffle a chook in a pub". What does this mean? Hint

They had no supporters

They couldn't be trusted with money

They couldn't manage the simplest tasks

They were a pack of wowsers

NEXT>

Question 9 of 10

9. The official Australian parliamentary record shows that Paul Keating once said of Andrew Peacock:

"I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's _______________ will recede into the darkness." Hint

support, like that of his predecessor,

legacy, for want of a better word,

hair, like his intellect

charisma, to be exceedingly generous,

NEXT>

Question 10 of 10

10. In a 1994 interview with a rival broadcaster, Keating said of which radio shock-jock "Most of the stuff [on his show] is middle-of-the-road fascism"? Hint

Chris Masters

John Laws

Alan Jones

Derryn Hinch

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. What did Keating say was like "being flogged with a warm lettuce"?

Answer: Criticism from Liberal Leader John Hewson

Mild-mannered Dr John Hewson led the Liberals to the 1993 election against Keating's Labor government. At the centre of Hewson's policy proposals was an agenda for economic reform including a Goods and Services Tax (a broad-based consumption tax). Unfortunately for the Liberals, Hewson's careful, academic approach to selling his ideas and debating his opponents was no match for Keating's verbal sparring skills.

2. Keating once referred to then-Prime Minister John Howard as which of the following? Hint: you can't make ANZAC biscuits without it!

Answer: Desiccated coconut

Keating continued to give extensive media interviews after leaving politics. On one occasion when he was asked to comment on the Liberal Party's continued attacking of Labor leader Kevin Rudd, he offered this assessment of the Liberal Prime Minister:

"The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands on."

3. Keating described Prime Minister John Howard as the "greatest job and investment destroyer since _____________"

Answer: the bubonic plague

The unemployment rate was actually pretty low during John Howard's term as Prime Minister, but hey--it's still a funny line!

4. Complete this Keating insult from 2007: "For Mr Howard to get to the high moral ground, he would first need to climb out of the volcanic hole he had dug for himself over the last decade. It is like one of those diamond mine holes in South Africa. They are about a mile underground. He would have to come a mile up to get to even equilibrium let alone have any contest in morality with ___________"

Answer: Kevin Rudd

Keating went on to say "if you want an election about morality, bring it on. I mean, when you talk about John Howard and the moral high ground...he reminds me of that cartoon character who's always trying to...[catch] the Roadrunner, and he'd always fall down these great chasms. I mean, Howard is down one of those chasms, in terms of morality."

I'm sure Rudd was happy for the vote of support, but one can't help but suspect Keating's vigorous tirade was more about attacking his old foe than defending a colleague. Or am I being too cynical?

5. In an infamous Keating moment captured by news cameras, he turned to a group of people and shouted "Go and get a job!" Who was he addressing?

Answer: University students protesting against fees

The timing of this unusually blunt remark caused plenty of headaches in the Labor Party, as it took place during the 1996 election campaign. It helped to cement Keating's reputation for arrogance in the mind of the increasingly disenchanted electorate. Of course, nowadays we look back with fondness on a politician whose every word wasn't first tested in a focus group.

6. Keating's colleagues weren't immune from his bite. Complete the following (bowdlerised) quote. "Just because you __________________ doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of [mud] over the rest of us

Answer: swallowed a dictionary when you were about 15

The son of a boilermaker, Keating grew up in a working class suburb of Sydney. He left school at the age of 15 and did not go on to university. Despite his obvious intelligence, his lack of formal higher education may be a somewhat touchy point. It is said that when the former Prime Minister and Labor heavyweight Gough Whitlam praised one of Keating's speeches and suggested he get himself an honours degree, Keating replied "What for? Then I'd be like you!"

7. "The thing about poor old ________ is he is all tip and no iceberg." Which Treasurer and frustrated leadership aspirant was Paul Keating referring to in this quote?

Answer: Peter Costello

Peter Costello was Treasurer during the entire 12-year term of the Howard government. He hoped to become Prime Minister when John Howard stepped down, but unfortunately for Costello, Howard kept delaying his retirement--right up until the Australian public forced it on him. Costello was left with a reputation for lacking the resolve to pursue his ambitions, which Keating was more than happy to remind everyone of.

8. Keating claimed that the Opposition "could not raffle a chook in a pub". What does this mean?

Answer: They couldn't manage the simplest tasks

This is a common Australian insult. In rural towns in particular, a pub raffle is a frequent fundraising event, with a chook (roasting chicken) or tray of assorted meat cuts the most popular prizes. Chook raffles are so ubiquitous and so easy to organise that saying someone couldn't manage one is equivalent to calling them totally useless.

9. The official Australian parliamentary record shows that Paul Keating once said of Andrew Peacock: "I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman's _______________ will recede into the darkness."

Answer: hair, like his intellect

Peacock was the Liberal Party leader, and hence leader of the opposition, for two periods in the 1980s. From March 1983 to September 1985 he tried to bring down Prime Minister Bob Hawke, only to resign when his party elected John Howard as deputy against Peacock's wishes. Howard failed to bring the hoped for success and in 1989 Peacock was reinstated as leader, lasting in the role for only 11 months. During both terms, Keating was the Australian treasurer.

10. In a 1994 interview with a rival broadcaster, Keating said of which radio shock-jock "Most of the stuff [on his show] is middle-of-the-road fascism"?

Answer: Alan Jones

Jones, who was one of Sydney's highest rating talk radio hosts, was engaged in a public feud with John Laws at the time. Keating made this remark on Laws' program. As Jones was an unabashed advocate of the conservative side of politics and had clashed with the prime minister on many occasions, Keating refused to appear on Jones' show all year.

Source: Author lorance79

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