I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes Quiz

Answer: Snake

The black mamba (Dendroaspis polylepis) is only the world's second-longest venomous snake. That is the one good thing to say about it. Otherwise it is truly a superlative snake: the most feared in Africa, the fastest land snake in the world and considered to be the most deadly.

A bite from a black mamba is certain to be venomous and will deliver a dose sufficient to kill you several times over. Untreated bites are invariably fatal and treatment, involving massive doses of antivenom and additional therapeutic measures, must be given fast. I wouldn't want to be in the same country as one of these critters, or the same continent for that matter.

Answer: Snake

The boomslang or tree snake (Dispholidus typus) is found throughout sub-Saharan Africa. A timid snake, it spends most of its time up trees, where it poses no threat to people. Boomslang bites are rare and there is an effective antivenom, so all well and good.

Its venom, however, though slow acting, will cause uncontrolled bleeding and kill you if not treated in time, so all ill and bad. Memo to self: stay away from trees in Southern Africa.

Answer: Snake

Inexplicably some people wish to keep snakes as pets and apparently the corn snake (Pantherophis guttatus) is a good introduction to this hobby. It originated in the south-eastern United States, where it was also known as the red rat snake and confused people with its superficial resemblance to the dangerous copperhead, but many years of captive breeding mean it is now available in a range of colours.

It is non-venomous, non-aggressive and willing to be handled and if you are prepared to share your home for 15 years or more with a five-foot reptile that lives on thawed out frozen mice or similar-sized creatures, go right ahead. Enjoy. Just don't expect me to visit.

Answer: Snake

The green anaconda (Eunectes murinus) has its good points: it isn't venomous, it isn't as long as the reticulated python and, not coming into contact with them very much, it doesn't swallow humans whole. However, it is the longest snake native to America, the eyes set on its head enable it to see its prey whilst hidden under water and with its loosely connected jaw bones it can swallow large prey such as tapirs, agoutis, capybaras, even fellow anacondas if times are hard. Females give birth to live young, on average 20 to 40 at a time, and if no males are available they can reproduce by parthenogenesis. Creepy or what?

Answer: Snake

Named for its nifty means of locomotion across US and Mexican desert regions the sidewinder (Crotalus cerastes) is also known as the horned rattlesnake and is a pit viper, which tells you all you need to know. Okay, it's less venomous than a lot of other rattlers and antivenom is widely available, but it can still kill people.

It shares its name with an air to air missile - that says it all, really.

Answer: Shark

The cookiecutter shark (Isistius brasiliensis) is found in warm waters all over the world with a particular concentration in the ocean surrounding Hawaii. It is only around 17 inches long, remains submerged during hours of daylight and is not especially interested in people, so what's to worry about? The clue is in the name - the teeth leave cookie-shaped holes in anything it bites and that can include humans. Having no desire to lose cookie-shaped lumps, I won't go swimming in Hawaii.

Answer: Shark

The great hammerhead shark (Sphyrna mokarran) is a nomadic predator measuring up to 20 feet in length. It is found in tropical and warm temporate areas and inhabits coastal areas. Its enormous "hammer" or cephalofoil with wide set eyes gives it 360 degree vision and improves its ability to detect electrical currents and find hidden prey, particularly stingrays.

Its diet also includes invertebrates, bony fishes and fellow sharks. It may not seek out human prey, but will attack if provoked. Remind me never to annoy one.

Answer: Shark

The megamouth (Megachasma pelagios) has a couple of things going for it. It is not as big as its fellow filter-feeders, the whale shark and basking shark, and having only been discovered in 1976 it isn't seen very often. As it can weigh more than a ton and swims with its enormous mouth wide open that is probably just as well.

Answer: Shark

I'll admit it, the tasselled wobbegong (Eurcrossorhinus dasypogon) has a wonderful name, "shaggy beard" or "living rock" in one of the Australian Aboriginal languages. It is a carpet shark with a flattened body covered by a pattern of blotches and reticulations and doesn't stand out among the coral reefs in which it lives.

It is also completely silent - sneaky, eh? It is mostly inactive in the daytime, but can attack without being provoked. Apparently it's a tourist attraction, but this potential tourist remains unattracted.

Answer: Shark

The tiger shark (Galeocerdo cuvier) grows up to 18 feet long and is found in warm oceans, often visiting shallow reefs, harbours and river mouths. The second largest predatory shark, it is a nocturnal hunter, aided by excellent eyesight and sense of smell and ability to camouflage itself against dark backgrounds.

It is notorious for eating absolutely anything - dogs, horses, sheep, goats, plastic, metal - and ranks behind only the great white shark as far as attacks on humans are concerned. There have apparently been few such attacks recorded, most of them not fatal, but why take the risk? I'm definitely staying out of the water.

Answer: Spider

To be fair, the brown recluse spider (Loxosceles reclusa) lives up to its name. Found in western and southern parts of the USA and also known as the violin spider, it is brown with violin markings and likes to keep out of humans' way, living in dark places and only coming out at night. Oh and it will only bite out of self-defence. But, if it's been hiding in a garment you put on it will bite and its necrotic venom will damage blood vessels and potentially kill you if you're in any way vulnerable.

Not reclusive enough for me, I'm afraid.

Answer: Spider

The largest wolf spider in North America, the Carolina wolf or giant wolf spider (Hogna carolinensis) lives in burrows and feeds on insects and other small invertebrates, waiting for them to draw near and then paralysing them with its unique venom. The female carries egg sacs on her body during incubation. Apparently some people liked it enough to make it the state spider of South Carolina.

Incredible!

Answer: Spider

Okay, the Goliath birdeater, or bird-eating spider (Theraphosa blondi) doesn't usually eat birds. Nor, unlike other tarantulas I could mention, does the female eat the male while mating. A South American forest dweller, the birdeater poses little danger to humans and is actually edible, apparently tasting like shrimp.

Its loveliness goes on and on; no it doesn't, who am I kidding? The world's longest and heaviest spider, it feasts on other large arthropods and has been seen eating rodents, amphibians and snakes, liquefying their insides and sucking them dry. I mean, yuk, yuk, YUK!

Answer: Spider

Oh good, a creature I could possibly encounter! Originally a native of the Canary Islands and Madeira, the noble false widow (Steatoda nobilis) hitched a ride with cargoes of bananas and is now found throughout western Europe and further afield. It is already established in southern English counties and working its way northwards.

The size of a small fingernail and with a pentagon mark on its abdomen, this spider likes to congregate near humans, is active all the year round, can live for five years and has a bite similar to a wasp or bee sting.

When not injuring people it can feed on small vertebrates much bigger than itself, eg pipistrelle bats, pygmy shrews. We're all doomed! I never liked bananas anyway!

Answer: Spider

The redback spider (Latrodectus hasselti) is also known as the Australian black widow - what more is there to say? The female indulges in sexual cannibalism and likes a web in a warm location, ie close to people. Her venom is neurotoxic and thousands of Australians are bitten every year.

Originally inhabiting only South Australia and Western Australia, the redback is now found throughout the country and has been inadvertently introduced into New Zealand, South East Asia and even Europe. Next step world domination? Don't say I haven't warned you!