Dr. Demento's Songs from the 70's Quiz

Answer: "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins"

Leonard Nimoy makes a departure from his impassive character, "Mr. Spock," to sing this song about one of our favorite Hobbits:

"In the middle of the earth in the land of the Shire
lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire.
With his long wooden pipe,
fuzzy, woolly toes,
he lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him

Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all..."

Answer: "Shaving Cream"

Written by Benny Bell, in 1946, this delightful song has been covered by various artists, including Dr. Demento, himself.

Here are the lyrics:

"I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
last night, when I walked in my bathroom,
I stepped in a pile of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

I think I'll break up with my girlfriend.
Her antics are queer, I'll admit.
Each time I say "Darling, I love you,"
She tells me that I'm full of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

A baby fell out of the window.
You'd think that her head would be split.
But good luck was with her that morning.
She fell in a barrel of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

When I was in France with the Army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen.

And now, folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean!
Shave every day, and you'll always look keen."

Answer: "Beep Beep"

The song, "Beep Beep," was a hit for "The Playmates," in 1958. The tempo of the song begins slowly, and gains speed, culminating in a very brisk pace, in the final verse. Here are the lyrics:

[Very slowly]
"Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep
While riding in my Cadillac
What to my surprise
A little Nash Rambler was following me
About one third my size
The guy musta wanted to pass me up
As he kept on tooting his horn
I'll show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

[Slowly]
I pushed my foot down to the floor
To give the guy the shake
But the little Nash Rambler stayed right behind
He still had on his brake
He musta thought his car had more guts
As he kept on tooting his horn (beep beep)
I'll show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

[Normal speed]
My car went into passing gear
And we took off with gust (whoosh)
Soon we were going ninety
Musta left him in the dust
When I peeked in the mirror of my car
I couldn't believe my eyes
The little Nash Rambler was right behind
You'd think that guy could fly
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

[Quickly]
Now we were doing a hundred and ten
This certainly was a race
For a Rambler to pass a Caddy
Would be a big disgrace
The guy musta wanted to pass me up
As he kept on tooting his horn (beep beep)
I'll show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

[Very quickly]
Now we're going a hundred twenty
As fast as I can go
The Rambler pulled along side of me
As if we were going slow
The fella rolled down his window
And yelled for me to hear
"Hey buddy how do I get this car outa second gear?""

Answer: Star Drek

This song was written by Peter Ferrara and Bobby Pickett. It was released in 1975, and appeared as the number one song on September fifth, 1976. Here is the first verse:

"SPACE - The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship
Booby Prize. Its five year mission - to sell T-shirts, toy phasers,
plastic communicators, and anything else we can think of. To seek
out new life in old plots and complications. To boldly go where
EVERYONE HAS GONE BEFORE!

S T A R D R E K !"

Answer: "Spam"

Originally televised in 1970 as a sketch, replete with an ensemble of Vikings, the audio version, made frequent appearances on the show.

What's on the menu?

The waitress, (Terry Jones) tells us:

"Well, there's egg and bacon,
egg sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam."

Answer: "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)"

Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., whose professional name was David Seville, created the "Chipmunks," circa 1958. The song was enormously popular, and achieved the number one ranking on the "Billboard Hot 100" singles chart for four weeks.

Here is an excerpt from the song:

"Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late."

Answer: "Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout (Would Not Take The Garbage Out)"

Here are the last few lines of this delightful song:

"At last the garbage reached so high
That it finally touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said,
"OK, I'll take the garbage out!"
But then, of course, it was too late. . .
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the garbage she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But children, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the garbage out!"

Answer: "The Ballad Of Irving"

Frank Gallop was primarily a radio and television announcer. However, one of his more popular song entries was, "The Ballad Of Irving," a send-up of Lorne Greene's poignant song, "Ringo."

Here is an excerpt:

"A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he,
But Irving was looking for one forty-three.
Walked into Sol's Saloon like a man insane,
And ordered three fingers of two cents plain.

Irving.
Big, fat Irving.
Big sport Irving.
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West."

Answer: "Fish Heads"

The name of the duo is "Barnes & Barnes," whose real names are Robert Haimer and Bill Mumy. Mumy portrayed the intimidating character of Anthony Fremont, in the original "Twilight Zone," television series. Perhaps, he is more readily identified as Will, from the "Lost in Space" television series.

Here is the chorus:

"Fish heads fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads fish heads
Eat them up, yum!"

The song was also number one on "The Funny 25" list, for 1979.

Answer: "Monster Mash"

Performed and written by, "Bobby (Boris) Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers," this Halloween favorite was released in October, 1962. Here is the first verse and chorus:

"I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise


He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash."