'Father Ted' - Episodes Trivia

1. At the start of the episode Ted and Dougal are watching a TV show. What's the show called?

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: Father Ben

Ted and Dougal are watching 'Father Ben', a show designed to be very like 'Father Ted'. Ted and Dougal fail to recognise that they are the characters in 'Father Ben' with Ted describing it as "top notch stuff" and saying he knows someone who is "a big thicko" like Ben!

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: "Eoin McLovenotes"

This is the album where Eoin is dressed like a Teletubby!

From Quiz "Father Ted:" "Speed 3"

Answer: enlivens

The magazine "Design Today" tells us that a strategically placed brick will enliven a dull floor and is a great look for Autumn.

From Quiz "Father Ted": "A Song For Europe"

Answer: "the whole gay thing"

"I thought the Catholic Church thought 'that type of thing' was inherently wrong." "Yes it does...The whole gay thing..I suppose its a bit of a puzzle to us all."

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: feck arse industries

The first eye chart the optitian uses is one saying "drink" that she got free with a promotional crate of Carlsberg.

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: Flipper the Priest

Dougal is struggling to come up with a name for his rabbit so suggests names of those around him trying Ted and Mrs Doyle before he settles on Father Jack. This obviously causes confusion with the real Father Jack who keeps responding when Dougal is in fact talking to the rabbit. When Ted says it's too confusing and Dougal must call the rabbit something else Dougal says he's used to calling it Father Jack and can't they call Father Jack the priest something else so Ted sarcastically suggests they call Jack "Flipper the Priest".

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: 17 Million

When the crowd quiets down Dougal say "I'm not good at estimating crowds, but I would have to say there are seventeen million out there."

From Quiz "Father Ted": "A Song For Europe"

Answer: Norway

It's the B-side of the song that came 5th in "A Song For Norway" in 1976.

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: over 200

We hear this gem of information from Mrs Doyle pre-arrest while she is in the tea shop.

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: Nude Sleepwalking

When Bishop Brennan phones Ted says a rude word to him on the phone so puts on an accent and pretends that it's a wrong number. The second time Bishop Brennan phones he tells Ted if he tries anything like that again he will "rip off" his arms! It is the third time in six months that Father Jack has been sleepwalking nude and so Bishop Brennan says he needs to come round to "examine the security arrangements".

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: "Drink, Feck, Arse, Girls!"

Typical Jack!

From Quiz "Father Ted:" "Speed 3"

Answer: "because it's shite"

"You'd better get going actually. Milk goes sour you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that because it's shite."

From Quiz "Father Ted": "A Song For Europe"

Answer: May

"What time is it now?" "Half one" "Half one! And the competition is on in..?" "May."

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: I don't believe it

Strangly Mr Wilson doesn't find this "hilarious." For those of you who dont know, Richard Wilson is the star of hit TV show "One Foot in the Grave" and "I don't believe it" is his catchphrase.

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: It's a travelling pet shop

Ted and Dougal come downstairs on the day that Bishop Brennan is coming to find the living room full of rabbits. They have to get rid of the rabbits because Bishop Brennan doesn't like them as he once got trapped in a lift in New York with a load of them and they "nibbled his cape". Ted suggests they ring the pet shop and give them the rabbits but Dougal tells him "it was a travelling pet shop" and that "it won't be back 'till spring".

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: Jim

Ted, after sweeping his special catagory "Tech Wars", on Eoin McLove's show, he gets thrown a curveball by this "rigged" question!

From Quiz "Father Ted:" "Speed 3"

Answer: Moscow

This is apparently a very funny story involving Mass and Sean Dre (?) the rower but we never get to hear it. And I think the episode is the poorer for it. :)

From Quiz "Father Ted": "A Song For Europe"

Answer: 10

"Have you known him long?" "Oh yes we've been partners for ten years." "Oh right, you run the production company together?" "Oh no no, he's my lover." ".....He's, he's quite a catch!"

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: 4pm

The poster reads: "Had enough of drink? Then join alcoholics anonymous." Unfortunately the only part Father Jack can see (because crows stole his glasses) is "drink?"

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: 12 Rottweilers

As they can't give the rabbits to the pet shop Dougal suggests they give them to Father Larry Duff. Ted thinks it's a good idea as Larry's "always going on about how he'd love to have a few rabbits running round the place". When Ted phones Larry he says he can't take the rabbits as he's given up on the rabbits idea and has got twelve Rottweilers instead. He says he can't take the rabbits as he's "afraid the rottweilers might upset them".

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: He burnt the house down

Father Ted reminds Mrs. Dunn that when she left Mr. Dunn alone, he burnt the house down!

From Quiz "Father Ted:" "Speed 3"

Answer: 10&ten&Ten

"Oh God Ted look! A big bunch of boxes in the middle of the road!" Luckily Ted is on hand to pile the boxes on the other side of the road so as to clear the way for Dougal.

From Quiz "Father Ted": "A Song For Europe"

Answer: and ride you over fences

The whole song is: "My lovely horse, running through the fields! Where are you going with your fetlocks blowing in the wind. I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist. My lovely horse, you're a pony no more. Running around with a man on your back, like a train in the night (yeah) like a train in the night!"

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: Graham Norton

Graham is now a highly successful chat show host over here in the UK. He has interviewed top stars such as Dustin Hoffman, The Osbournes and Dennis Hopper. But I think his finest hour has to be his fantastic rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" in this episode. Magnifico!

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: In the vice

Ted calls Tom to see if he can help them with the extra rabbits. They ask Tom what he's going to do with the rabbits and he says he'll "put them in the vice". Ted then realises that Tom has got the wrong meaning of the phrase "to take care of something" saying "I realise now that you meant that in a sort of Al Pacino way whereas I was thinking more along the lines of Julie Andrews". The priests make their escape with Ted telling Dougal to "run quite fast".

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: Mrs. O'Neill

Mrs. O'Neill, who is 110 years old, also asked Eoin what his two favourite things are. (Jumpers and Cakes)!

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: Paraguay

"And the Youth Group will be back with help at any moment. They said they were going to find the tour guide, tell him I was trapped under a big pile of rocks and come right back." (cut to airport desk) "That's four tickets to Paraguay."

From Quiz The Plague

Answer: Caviar

When Bishop Brennan gets up to go to his room he notices a pile of small black rabbit droppings on the floor. He asks Ted what it is and because Ted can't admit that they've got rabbits he tells him it's caviar. Bishop Brennan is not impressed saying they've put it there so "I can get down on my hands and knees and eat off the floor?" he then says he's going to bed.

From Quiz "Night of the Nearly Dead."

Answer: 40,000

She buys these tea bags for her love, Eoin McLove!

From Quiz "Father Ted": "The Mainland"

Answer: orange fanta

Dougal describes himself as "out of my head with the hunger" and doesnt really understand that chips and rice aren't readily available at police stations.

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