All the Nudes That are Fit to Print Quiz

Answer: Howard the Duck

What is it with Howard? He wears a shirt, tie and a suit, he even smokes a cigar, but he doesn't wear pants. He also has a very short temper. Now maybe if he had trousers he wouldn't be such a grouch. Come to think of it, Donald is also quite irascible and Daffy is very tetchy - I'm sensing a pattern here. I'll admit that Darkwing (alias Drake Mallard) is fairly suave and doesn't lose his cool easily but he also has an ego greater than the Pacific Ocean so walking around sans 'below the waist' wear is not likely to present issues to him. There seems to be an understanding amongst cartoonists that if you create an animated animal there's little need to waste ink on dungarees and bell-bottoms. You only need to look at Yogi 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' Bear; his sidekick, Boo Boo, who is simply attired in a bow tie while Yogi's girlfriend, Cindy, does the half-monty, simply adorned in the shortest skirt you've ever seen and a bit of gift wrapping around her neck. Honestly, I've seen more cotton in a bottle of aspirin.

Then there's Winnie the Pooh ... and I think I've made my point.

Answer: Robin

In the beginning Robin fought crime in his underpants. It can get mighty cold in Gotham at night time so it's little wonder that they called him 'Boy Wonder'. I thought Bruce Wayne was supposed to be his buddy. Well Bruce is worth billions and doesn't even buy him a pair leggings. The story of Robin is as confusing as his lack of trousers.

The first Robin was Dick Grayson. He retired and became Nightwing and Jason Todd took over. Jason got killed by The Joker but was later resurrected as Red Hood, complete with jeans and a leather jacket. Tim Drake (that duck name hasn't escaped my attention) came along for a short while.

He scored a full body costume until he decided to become Red Robin. Tim's girlfriend, Stephanie Brown, then stepped up to be the fourth incarnation of Robin. Fortunately she fought in more than her underwear.

She then decided she wanted a promotion and applied for the job of Batgirl, which left Bruce Wayne's illegitimate son, Damian, to take over.

Answer: Officer Sung Li (aka Girl One)

'Top Ten' pays homage and makes reference to a number of other comic books and pop culture images. For example, there is the clothing store in the strip called 'The Phonebooth'. Sung Li is a bio-engineered woman built by a group of wealthy friends [shades here of Kelly Le Brock's character, Lisa, in 'Weird Science' (1985)] and she is an amalgam of several video game characters.

She is super quick and extremely agile and has a chameleon-like skin that allows her to constantly change her skin colour. Consequently, while she may always be in a raw state, her colleagues have absolutely no idea that this is the case. All bar one, Sergeant Kemlo. Kemlo is a Doberman and is not affected by Girl's camouflage as he cannot see colours.

This tends to lead to tension between him and Sung Li. Sung Li's name and face were based on that of glamour model Sung Hi Lee, who, ironically, has appeared in Playboy magazine.

When Girl One is killed she is replaced by 'Girl 54', which is a reference to the television programme 'Car 54 Where Are You' (1961-63).

Answer: The Hulk

I'm not going anywhere near that age old chestnut - if Hulk is massively bigger than Bruce Banner how come his pants don't disintegrate in the same way his shirt does? Yes I know, he's always wearing purple and they always rip only at the knees. In much the same way as the She-Hulk always wear a white T-Shirt that only ever rips at the sleeves. Sorry, you'll have to find the answers to those questions elsewhere. Having said that, one can only suspect that the writers eventually got tired of fending off that very same query because in 2008, in 'Ultimate Hulk Annual #1' he appears totally starkers and not the least bit ashamed.

The plot in this edition, which is as thin as the paper it was drawn on, essentially involves a long brawl between our green giant and the Power Princess, Zarda.

The fight erupts in a pancake restaurant when Zarda asks the Hulk to (wait for it) put some pants on. Special commendations should be given to the art team of Marko Djudjevic, Ed McGuinness and Dexter Vines who were extremely creative in keeping the unclad Hulk (um) work safe.

Answer: Fire

Fire is a super hero in the DC Universe who first appeared in 'Infinity, Inc' issue #32 (November, 1986). Fire gained the power to exhale a supernatural green flame through a Brazilian mystical ceremony. She came to control the flame so that she could use it to fly in a similar manner to The Human Torch.

The outfits that Beatriz chose for herself were, for want of a better phrase, quite ordinary. This proved immaterial (sorry, bad pun) as, whenever she 'flamed on' they were totally destroyed. At this point it would be poor humour on my part to say that she looked 'totally hot' so I'll remain silent.

The writers also take the opportunity to have some fun with the character as they set her to also 'flame on' involuntarily. This occurs whenever she gets angry or is under stress and ... oh dear, there goes another outfit.

Answer: Silver Surfer

The chrome coloured hero of comic books. He's seamless, he's hairless, he rides a surf-board through space (how cool is that) and, possibly, because he lacks some vital attributes, he gets to ride past the censors.
When the space god, Galactus (The Devourer) threatens to swallow his planet, Norrin Radd makes a deal with him agreeing to be the herald for Galactus, to seek out suitable planets for The Devourer to consume. As a result he is turned into the Silver Surfer and is obliged to journey the cosmos without a stitch of fabric forever.

Answer: Witchblade

Witchblade is a creation of Top Cow Productions. The blade is union of 'The Angelus' (the good) and 'The Darkness' (the bad) and its semi organic structure allows it to set up a symbiotic living arrangement with its host. Whenever Sara uses the object it destroys her clothing but then covers her buff-ness with a form of semi organic armour.

However, Sara cannot control this, the blade decides how much armour she is provided with according to level of the threat Sara is confronted with. Now my view is that Sara runs into a number of 97 pound weaklings as some of her outfits are tantamount to soft pornography.

Answer: Tarzan

Created by Edgar Rice Burroughs and first published in 1912, Tarzan has since appeared in a variety of media. Apart from the original novels, one of the best examples you're likely to find are a series of graphic novels published by Watson-Guptill Productions during the 1970's.

These were illustrated by one of comics' foremost sketchers of the human anatomy, Burne Hogarth. Hogarth would produce a standard of work with which it is difficult to compare. The first graphic novel, 'Tarzan of the Apes' (1972) is a re-work of Burrough's original 1912 story and, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the jungle, for the first one hundred pages the apeman parades around 'au natural'. Curiously though, for an outdoors type of guy he seems to be seriously lacking in a tan. Fortunately there are lots of shadows and strategically placed vines and gorilla parts to ensure that the crown jewels remain out of public view.

Answer: Barbara

The issue concerned is 'Batman Confidential #18' (June 2008) where Catwoman makes a getaway running into an all nude club believing that 'Goody Two Shoes' Batgirl won't follow ... but, SHE DOES! Barbara Gordon strips off her costume, bar her headpiece and cape, and steps right in.

At first she tries to hide behind her cape but soon discards this. Then, in this crowded bar, a fight breaks out. The first nine pages become nothing more than a series of fists, gasps, leading questions and not a stitch in sight. Sadly there was not much to the plot in this issue.

Answer: Doctor Manhattan

Dr Manhattan appears in 'The Watchmen', a limited twelve issue series written by Alan Moore. It was published by DC Comics during 1986 and 1987. The good doctor is, essentially, a god-like creature with a range of extraordinary powers. Despite this near-godliness state he manages to retain his human traits though he is steadily becoming detached from these. I gather that his detachment from his clothing is then meant to mirror the shedding of his human qualities.

Despite the fact that Manhattan spends a great deal of time in his birthday suit he is different to his contemporaries in that he actually reveals his genitalia. To the credit of the creators the key bits are understated, though I wonder if they realised they'd built in irony by giving Manhattan a blue skin colour.