The Further Adventures of the Midnight Screeners Quiz

Answer: Chevrolet Lumina

Jake really did call City Hall and ask for the price of a permit for a Viking funeral for his car. He wanted to construct a raft, float his car out into the middle of a lake, and shoot flaming arrows at it until it sank. The City Hall representative told him never to call her again.

Answer: Chris Farley

Jake claimed that, during his early days on Saturday Night Live, Adam Sandler was only ever funny when he was being supported by Chris Farley in such sketches as "Zagat's". Since then, Jake said, Sandler has only gotten worse and worse, especially since he no longer has anyone to rein him in.

Answer: Special effects on par with PlayStation 2 graphics

No, the special effects were even worse than that. They were about the same quality as the graphics of a Philips CD-i game.

"It's their pillow's birthday." That's the setup for the plot of "The Oogieloves". That should immediately tell you what kind of mixture of bizarre and terrible you're in for if you watch this movie.

The actors' performances in the film were also more than questionable. Chazz Palminteri was playing a cross between Andrew Dice Clay and Scatman Crothers, Cary Elwes was a mixture of Diedrich Bader, Crispin Glover, Nick Nolte, a child molester, and Gary Busey, and Jaime Pressly wanted desperately to have romantic relations with a fish. To this day, no one is sure where this movie's $20 million budget went.

Answer: The Single Moms Club

The reviewers never EVER have good experiences with Tyler Perry films. After Brian and Dave both put "A Madea Christmas" as the worst movie of 2013, Brad agreed to see all of Perry's movies the year after. Fortunately for him, there was only one, but after seeing "The Single Moms Club", Brad horrifiedly realized the error of his ways, declaring, "I'm a monster!" He almost walked out of the movie, but the only thing that kept him from doing so was the thought of how furious Dave, Brian, and Irving would have been if he couldn't sit through just one Tyler Perry movie.

Answer: melted molasses

Brad deemed this movie "amazing", but not for the reason you might think. Among the hilariously terrible parts of this film were a green-screen effect during a driving scene going the wrong way, Candace Cameron's horrible line delivery, "Duck Dynasty" branded beef jerky being sold by Si Robertson (playing himself), a scene set in Vietnam that looked like it was filmed in the Midwestern United States, and a character named "John Paul George". Brad recommends pairing this movie with "Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas" or "The Identical" for a truly wonderful experience.

Answer: Planes

In his review of "Planes", Jake presented his idea of a boat-themed entry in the "Cars"/"Planes" universe titled "Jet Setter". In it, a scrappy young swan paddle boat named Artie would make it his life's dream to win a race against the faster, tougher Jet Skis. Grandpa Tuggers, voiced by either Denzel Washington or Wilford Brimley, would be the crotchety old war veteran tugboat who, after being charmed by our plucky young main character's sheer gumption, would teach Artie how to beat the Jet Skis and win everyone's respect. The talking tree in "Legends of Oz", named Tugg, was used as a boat at one point during the movie, which Jake saw as blatant plagiarism of his idea.

If Disney ever becomes desperate enough to make "Jet Setter", just remember whose idea it was.

Answer: Lloyd

Ryan, Nick, and Allison are not on the site very often, but they have appeared a few times, usually if there's no one else available at the time of the screening.

Lloyd is Brad's cat. He is not allowed in the movie theater, but he would most likely have very little to offer during the review anyway.

Answer: Grudge Match

Due to the hectic nature of the Christmas season, Brad saw all four of these movies in one day in late December. "Grudge Match" was by far the worst of them.

As Brad (whose last name is "Jones") pointed out, people with the initials "BJ" don't like being called "BJ". This was made worse by an egregious child actor who, after overhearing the millionth "BJ" joke in the movie, was told that it stood for "butterscotch jellybeans". Brad compared him to the kid who wanted to get "chocolate wasted" in "Grown Ups".

Answer: Life of Pi

The trailer for that movie was SO unrealistic. I mean, it had a tiger AND a whale, which everyone involved in the film's production should have known was not a good idea. Those are two species that do NOT get along.

At least, that's what Brad and Sarah thought.

Answer: He wasn't beating a Nazi's head in

This was a reference to Roth's role as Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz in "Inglourious Basterds". Roth played the manager of a boy band in "Rock of Ages". Brad commented that, if it were real, the boy band would have been the best thing Eli Roth ever directed.