Bovines Are Divine Trivia Quiz

Answer: Jersey

Elsie "came out" as a Jersey cow at the New York World Fair in the 1930s, when an actual Jersey cow was chosen to be her real life counterpart. In 1940, advertising execs announced that the lovely Elsie had "married" another well-known bovine---Elmer, the bull whose likeness adorns Elmer's Glue bottles. Whether the pair are still together, I don't know, but both of their smiling faces can still be seen promoting their respective products.

Answer: Mrs. O'Leary

The contention that the Great Chicago Fire was started by a lamp-kicking cow belonging to one Mrs. Kate O'Leary, a small dairy business owner, has never been fully proven. A post-fire inquiry into the matter yielded inconclusive evidence and no charges were ever filed.

Answer: Sioux

The incident took place near Ft. Laramie, whose soldiers descended on the Sioux camp in response to reports that tribe members had eaten the wandering cow. According to witness accounts, the Sioux chief, who knew that his people had not stolen the cow, believed he could reason with the soldiers and instructed his men to hold their fire.

But the soldiers began shooting, killing the chief and several warriors. This shameful misunderstanding set the stage for a new surge of hostility between the two factions.

Answer: Clarabelle

Goofy, gangly, and girly, Clarabelle the Cow shares her first name with Clarabelle the Clown, the non-speaking character played by Bob Keesham (the future "Captain Kangaroo") on "The Howdy Doody Show." Clarabelle the Cow was originally paired with an equine "beau" named Horace Horsecollar.

But Horace failed to catch on with the public and he eventually faded into cartoon obscurity, leaving Clarabelle to make her way alone in the world, until she, too, lost her animated luster.

Answer: Four

Technically, cows are known as "ruminents", which means that their stomachs are divided into chambers. As a child, I thought that cows had four stomachs and found that very strange. What's even stranger (and very sad) is that many cows destined to become steaks are fed meat and blood from butchered members of their own species. I'm no vegetarian, but it doesn't seem that cows were meant to be cannibals, either.

Answer: Smell flowers

Published in 1936, "Ferdinand the Bull" tells the story of a peace-loving bull who rebels when chosen by the local men to participate in a bullfight. It was one of my favorite books as a child, and it remains a best seller today.

Answer: California

In their lawsuit, PETA took issue with the depiction of Californian cows as living happily and peacefully in an idyllic, pastroral setting. They claimed that the majority of the state's cows were in fact confined to dirty, smelly pens and lived extremely unhappy lives.

But the courts disagreed and ruled on the side of the ad makers, giving the cows the legal right to continue to proclaim their happiness.

Answer: Ogden Nash

Frederic Ogden Nash was a New York native who first became famous for his humorous, light-hearted poetry in the 1930s. One of his even more well-known rhymes is "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." Words to live by!

Answer: Illogical sounding statements

The term "Irish bull" is sometimes used in reference to poorly constructed English-language sentences that seem to be making an illogical statement, such as "I watched a TV show about cows on the couch." Of course, what the speaker really means is "I watched a TV show about cows while sitting on the couch." But why this synaptic misstep is associated with the eloquent-tongued Irish is beyond my powers of comprehension!

Answer: A traveling meat wagon

According to company lore, the very first The Laughing Cow logo depicted an unsmiling cow who was brown and not red. The image morphed into the present, more familiar one after an outside artist was hired to make it more commercial.