Death and Taxes Trivia Quiz

Answer: "Saved by the bell"

Edgar Allan Poe wrote three stories about being buried alive, "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Cask of Amontillado", and "The Premature Burial," but the widespread fear predates him. George Washington, for example, insisted that he be kept above ground for three days to make sure he was really dead. Despite the paranoia, Wikipedia states that there is no documented case of a person being buried alive but saved by a safety coffin.

Saved by the bell," of course, actually derives from boxing.
See www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/saved-by-the-bell.html for an explanation.

Answer: 94%

By contrast, the maximum tax rate in the U.S. was reduced from 38.6% to 35% in 2003. I'm by no means in favor of a flat tax, but it seems completely unfair to ask someone to only keep six cents from each dollar they earned. I'd be upset.

Answer: Mosquitoes

Technically, it's the viruses (malaria, yellow fever, etc) that kill you, but there's some question as to whether a virus is "alive." For purposes of this quiz, I am ruling that they are not. As an interesting aside, hippos kill more people than lions.

Answer: George H.W. Bush

The problem with a promise like this is that in the American system, the President doesn't have exclusive control over whether a tax gets implemented. While the President prepares the Federal Budget, Congress still has to vote on it and often adds additional taxes and spending. And, although Congress didn't add any new taxes, it raised those that already existed.

By the way, it's nearly impossible to scrutinize the U.S. Federal Budget. It's a huge document. According to P.J. O'Rourke (in "Parliament of Whores"), the 1991 Federal Budget had 19,000 items and weighed twenty-four pounds. Not exactly bedtime reading.

Answer: (1) Irreversible cessation of circulatory and respiratory functions, or (2) Irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brain stem.

Okay, this question got kinda silly, but there are so many cheap ways to make it harder that I opted out of the whole mess. A Uniform Act is a suggested law drafted by experts. The idea is to have each state enact substantially the same text, so that it won't matter what state you're in. It's often used in situations where jurisdictional issues might arise.

Answer: "Sin" Taxes

Sin taxes include taxes on alcohol and gambling wins. I'm not sure whether a tax on hotel rooms qualifies. Monty Python did present a sketch where the British Government considered taxing sex (which they called "thingy"), which, as they observed, would make chartered accountancy a LOT more interesting.

Answer: He's seen the Elephant

I knew "gone west" from reading about the British in the First World War, and "bought the farm" has entered general American slang. To have "seen the elephant" is American Civil War slang for having been in combat.

Answer: "Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's"

I am by no means a Bible scholar, but I like the interpretation that we can incur debts to government, which must be paid in the currency of government, and debts to God, which must be paid in the currency of God. I acknowledge there are other interpretations, and since I have no vested interest in the matter, I leave the solution up to professional scholars.

Answer: A laughing heir

For example, if my great-grandfather had a sister, her grandchild would be my third cousin. My third cousin's grandchild would be my third cousin twice removed. Given that our common ancestor is six generations back, I doubt that my cousin and I would be close. Many states no longer allow for laughing heirs.

Answer: You can claim the people living next door as dependents even if they're not dependent on you.

Please don't send me email about how this question is wrong. Every single one of the three arguments that have been tried has been presented in court and FAILED. If you want a complete analysis of why these arguments aren't true, I direct you to http://evans-legal.com/dan/tpfaq.html

But common sense should tell us that you have to pay tax. Think about it. The Federal government gets a lot of its revenue from the income tax. The Federal government makes Federal law. Assuming any of these arguments had merit and had succeeded, wouldn't the government simply correct the law?

This says it far better than I can: "Some people believe with great fervor preposterous things that just happen to coincide with their self-interest. "Tax protesters" have convinced themselves that wages are not income, that only gold is money, that the Sixteenth Amendment is unconstitutional, and so on. These beliefs all lead - so tax protesters think - to the elimination of their obligation to pay taxes." "Coleman v. Commissioner," 791 F.2d 68, 69 (7th Cir. 1986).

Answer: A "dead cat" bounce

The idea being that even a dead cat will bounce a bit if dropped from a sufficient height, According to Wikipedia, the term "dead cat bounce" first appeared in 1985. There can be any number of reasons for one, but the "dead cat bounce" is inherently temporary. The pattern is a steep decline, a small gain, and then another steep decline.

Answer: Because you're compelled by law to incriminate yourself, which is prohibited by the 5th Amendment.

The statutes were unconstitutional under the 5th Amendment because you were essentially forced to admit that you'd committed a crime. Wisconsin, however, amended the statute so that the guy who sells you the stamp cannot tell the cops that you bought one, thus removing the self-incrimination problem. If any other states still enforce the law, I bet that they did this, too.

I have one of these stamps, from Texas. (And I bought it on eBay for the novelty, so if you come looking, you're wasting your time.) Oddly, it has "Death" "Taxes" and "Drugs" around the periphery. That seems to imply that drugs are a certainty in life. Someone has a sense of humor.

Answer: Memento mori

"Memento mori" means "Remember you will die." "Dulce et decorum est" is the first part of "dulce et decorum est pro patria mori," meaning "It is sweet and fitting to die for one's country" (there is a great anti-war poem with that title, too). "Cave canem" means "beware of the dog," and "rigor mortis" means "stiff death." (Thanks to Wikipedia for documenting these.)

Answer: No taxation without representation!

Okay, one of these choices makes no sense unless one of the Founding Fathers was Dr. Seuss. Interestingly, I always thought that "no taxation without representation" was just the Colonists being difficult, but in researching this question on Wikipedia, I discovered that there was actual law supporting the argument. According to Wikipedia, "'The English Bill of Rights 1689' had forbidden the imposition of taxes without the consent of Parliament. Since the colonists had no representation in Parliament the taxes violated the guaranteed Rights of Englishmen." Of course, given that the franchise was limited and that many Members of Parliament represented "rotten" or "pocket" boroughs, it could be argued that almost no one was actually represented, but the Colonies had no one who even purported to represent them.

Answer: If you play the single of "Hey Jude" at 33 rpm instead of 45, you hear "Paul has been dead for ages."

I stole the false "clue" from a parody of the Beatles called "The Rutles," and got the phrasing of the others from "Officially Pronounced Dead: The Great Beatle Death Conspiracy" at http://homepages.tesco.net/harbfamily/opd/album.html.

For the record, Paul is not the Walrus on "Magical Mystery Tour", John is, and even though John tells us "the walrus was Paul" in "Glass Onion," a walrus is not a death symbol. The number plate does say 28IF, but Paul would have been 27, not 28, and it requires really convoluted thinking to explain why the plate is a clue anyway. And finally, the hand over the head isn't a death symbol. I own a book debunking the whole "Paul is dead" legend, called "Turn me on, Dead Man", which is worth reading.

Answer: Value-Added Tax

The United States does not as yet charge a VAT. Also, Monopoly was invented before anyone came up with the VAT. I guess it might be included in updated versions of the game.

Answer: The Black Death

It's called the black death because of the necrosis of tissues, according to Wikipedia. There were interesting consequences to the depopulation, including a rise in wages and the growth of the beer industry.

"The Green Ripper" is a book by John D. MacDonald and is part of his series of novels about Travis McGee, which I heartily recommend. "The Masque of the Red Death" is a story by Edgar Allan Poe, which does in fact have a lot in common with stories about the Black Death. The Blue Fairy is the character in the Disney version of "Pinocchio" who turns Pinocchio into a wooden boy. All of these facts were verified via Wikipedia.

Answer: Beards.

Basically, Peter wanted his court to look sophisticated and stylish. Long beards don't do that, unless you think Old Testament prophets are really hot.

Answer: The Estate Tax

If there's one theme to this, it's that people don't like to pay taxes. People especially don't want to pay a lot of money in taxes. That being said, there's a huge deduction - in 2009, a person's heirs or devisees can receive $3.5 million before anyone has to pay taxes, and that's assuming that no one does anything beforehand to minimize the tax burden.

It's hard to see a tax on whatever exceeds that amount as somehow unfair.

Answer: Benjamin Franklin

Wikiquote has the entire quotation. Benjamin Franklin loved to form aphorisms - they fit in with his folksy public persona. Some of his others that you see a lot are "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety" and "Fish and visitors stink in three days."

Lots of people have offered a third inescapable, but none have stuck.