What hobby? Excuses, Excuses 2 Quiz

Answer: Horseback Riding

Oh, that Herbert, always trying to stir up trouble! And I thought he was a stable individual! Well, if he is banned from the area for being a trouble-maker, then horseback riding as a hobby might not be for him.

Thanks for the pun from "j-walk.com/puns". A stirrup is a part which is attached to a saddle, into which the rider puts his or her feet. "Stir up" and "stirrup" are homonyms.

Answer: Bartending

Herbert! Bartending is not just pressing soda on a person! Your spirit has to be in it, too! Hah! Get it? Spirit? Alcohol? Of course you do. But, there is no cause to have Herbert "so depressed." We have plenty of hobbies to raise his spirits. Hah! That's a toast! To raise spirits! OK. I am done here.

Thanks to "justsomething.com" for the "soda pressing" pun. "So depressing" and "soda pressing" sound the same when said fast and slightly slurred, as a person who has imbibed might do. This quiz does not advocate over-indulging in alcohol, not even in the name of humor. Be spirited responsibly.

Answer: Camping

Herbert does tend to buy discount supplies. It did not go well for him on the spelunking phase. But I digress. If Herbert tried camping and it was too "in tents," emotionally, then he should not camp.

Thanks to "ask.metafilter.com" for the camping puns. "Caught up in my discount tent" sounds like "caught up in my discontent." Say it fast, like you would say "hey! There is a bear!" which is what I personally say a lot when camping. Sometimes it is just a squirrel rustling the bushes, but I still yell "Bear!" One cannot be too careful.

Answer: Soccer

Herbert really should have kept kicking. He would have gotten a kick out of soccer eventually. Many people say so. But I won't be pushy.

This pun came from the Tampa Bay Rowdies old slogan "A kick in the grass" from my high school days. I live in the Tampa Bay area, and I thank the Rowdies for the pun. One kicks a soccer ball, and the expression "got a kick out of it" means "to enjoy it." For those who want to choose "kick" for the horseback riding, that would leave the soccer ball with stirrups and that is just not practical. And riding a horse that kicks is also not good for Herbert's enthusiasm.

Answer: Car racing

Now, Herbert is just being crank-tankerous. He knows he will never get so skilled at auto racing as to get to Indianapolis!

Thanks to "Jokes4us.com" for the Indy pun. The "Indy" refers to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, the site of a famous yearly car race, the "Indianapolis 500." "Indy-gestion" is a play on "indigestion." "Crank-tankerous" is a play on "crankshaft" ("crank" for short) which is a part of the internal combustion engine, combined with the word "cantankerous" which means "cranky" or "ill-tempered." The cranky pun is mine.

Answer: Driving monster trucks

I get it, Herbert! Huge+Tire=Monster+Truck. Or maybe "hugely tired" means you got run over by a monster tire? Yeah, I have heard that hurts.

The tired pun is mine. Tampa, Florida is home to Monster Truck Rallies. I hope we are not the only place that has such hobbies. I try to stay away from those rallies, because those are hugely scary trucks! I would not even be a speed bump to them!

Answer: Construction

Herbert, you are not supposed to rivet yourself! That is not comfortable. Or not humble, depending on your interpretation.

Thanks to "LaffGaff.com/construction-jokes/" for the riveting pun. A rivet is a short bolt or pin that holds two metal parts together. Construction sites usually will include riveting, which means to use a rivet. The adjective "riveting" means "intensely interesting." Herbert could rivet a rivet in a riveting manner. But he won't. He has refused to rivet (or construct).

Answer: Baking

Well, of course you kneaded dough, Herbert! That is how you make bread! Or, perhaps you meant "needed dough"? As in dough=money? Got it. You bought substandard tents for camping, and yet still are broke.

Thanks to "jokes4us.com" for the kneaded inspiration. Their quote was that we "knead to be serious here." "Need" and "Knead" are homonyms, and "kneading dough" is what bakers do, while "needing dough" is an expression that means "needing money." Bottom line: Herbert's baking hobby did not pan out.

Answer: Coin collecting

Actually, Herbert, I also don't get this one. Coins are for buying lattes. It does not make cents... um... sense to me to collect them and not use them for their life's purpose.

The senseless pun was mine, inspired by the title of the article "Making Cents of Rare Coins" by Jeff Desjardins. OK, the pun was Mr. Desjardins', and I was inspired to twist it to my own purposes. "Cents" is a homonym for "sense." That makes it funny. ("Don't be the one that Knox the punner.")

Answer: Fencing

Ow. I am sorry you got foiled by a foil, Herbert. I think your fencing partner was trying to kill you. I would run away, too. Flee the foil, Friend!

Thanks to "www.fencing.net/forums/threads/fencing-puns.2767/" for the foil pun by FoilGirl. A foil is a fencing "sword," for light sword-play. Fencing is the art of using this thin sword. Apparently there are three different swords used in fencing, but I only know the one they used in the film "Zorro, the Gay Blade" which is a very funny George Hamilton movie. That title is another pun, but it has nothing to do with Herbert's hobbies. The expression "to be foiled" means to be thwarted. Herbert is saying he was thwarted again and again in his pursuit by fencing foes. In the old days when folk used foils for fighting, being foiled was fatal.