Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts
1. "The Adventure of the Mysterious Assassin."
(It is with the kind permission of Dr. John H. Watson M.D. that I am able to relate to the reader the singular experience of Mr. Sherlock Holmes and the 'Plot' to do away with him. Sufficient time has passed to absolve the participants of any undue embarrassment...I think.)
It was raining hard on the moonless Friday night of February 16, __07, when the solitary hansom cab clattered its way along Baker Street. As it came to a stop in front of #221B, Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson alighted, tired but glad to be back at their warm and cozy premises. During the ride back, Watson had been scribbling furiously in his notes, determined to include every minute detail on Holmes's handling of the sensitive nature of the 'Spanish-Mexican French Fry Treaty'. He planned to eventually publish it under the title "The Adventure of the Tomato Ketchup Stain".
Holmes, meanwhile, gazed proudly at the rewards from two grateful nations, a "Gold deerstalker cap with silver inscription" from Vice-President Guilleambia of Mexico and a "Silver hunting crop with gold inscription" from Grand Duchess Eolena of Spain.
As Watson turned to pay Charles "Chucky" Norris the cabman, Holmes mounted the many steps to his dark abode. Carrying his prized possessions, he reached for the door handle...
"Watson, come here...I need you!" shouted Holmes, agony in his voice.
On hearing Holmes's urgent cry, Watson pulled out his trusty Webley revolver and dashed up the stairs, leaving Chucky Norris without a tip, muttering to himself..."that bloke needs a roundhouse kick...".
"Holmes, what is it? The SPECKLED BAND? The BASKERVILLE HOUND? A SUSSEX VAMPIRE?"
"No, Watson, worse. The Hudson cat."
"'Ere, 'ere, did you say the Hudson cat?"
"Yes Watson, my dear chap. On Monday, Mrs. Hudson left 221B Baker St. right after we did, to visit her sister 'R.D.' and insisted on allowing her cat to roam the premises. I'm allergic to cats."
"Tut, tut, my dear Holmes. It's only a cat."
"And look closely here. Someone broke the lock!" continued Holmes, pointing to the door handle.
"Not to worry," said Watson. "A seven per-cent solution of cyanoacrylate will fix that nicely."
"Cyano...you mean the LION'S MANE from our adventures?"
"No, Holmes, not 'Cyanea capillata' the jellyfish. Cyanoacrylate. It's also called crazy glue," explained Watson.
"We may have an intruder. Have your weapon handy, Watson, because we're going in!" replied Holmes.
They opened the door cautiously...
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about a deadly snake. Which story?
2. With Watson looking on with his trusty revolver, Holmes pulled out his "silver hunting crop" and donned his "gold deerstalker cap". Peering into the darkness of his premises, he stepped forward and groped for an oil lamp to light...
"Oops!"
Thump!
Catching his foot on the edge of the huge Persian carpet given to him by a local governess, Miss Linda Luckycharm, Holmes was sent tumbling into his drawing room, his crop and cap coming to rest a few feet away.
Laughing heartily as Holmes brushed himself off, Watson flicked on the light switch by the door.
"I keep forgetting about that switch, Watson. When did you have it installed?"
"Two weeks ago. If you may recall, our street contact Bassman, of the Baker Street Irregulars, recommended a local electrician, CHARLES AUGUSTUS MILVERTON a few weeks ago. Milverton did some work at the ABBEY GRANGE a while ago and the owners of the COPPER BEECHES, Colonel and Mama Snuggs, recommended him."
"By the way, Watson, did you move the carpet in front of the door?"
"Not me, I was with you all the time, remember?"
Regaining his composure, Holmes continued.
"Excellent, my dear Watson. Your deductive powers are improving with each passing day. By the way, while my face was 'kissing floor', I noticed a strand of hair caught between the wooden floorboards."
"Wonderful, our first clue! By chance, what colour is it?" inquired Watson.
"Red," replied Holmes. "You don't suppose our friends from the RED-HEADED LEAGUE were here?"
"It's possible, Holmes. Or I wonder if our old nemesis Professor Moriarty had his hair dyed recently...?"
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about a well-planned bank robbery. Which story?
3. The electric light revealed a room in a state of upheaval, with furniture and bookcases overturned, cushions on the floor, and potted plants in disarray.
Momentarily shocked by what he saw, Holmes regained his composure and looked over at Watson, who was brandishing his weapon and muttering...
"What in silver blaze happened here?"
Tiptoeing carefully around overturned furniture, Holmes began to speculate...
"Hmm...Watson, it's not entirely impossible that a man or MEN were DANCING all through our humble abode, searching for something of vital importance. And our list of suspects is a long one I'm afraid. It could be our REIGATE SQUIRE, Pricecounty of Kenhall, Reigate, or our GREEK INTERPRETER, Monsieur Nuno Seno."
"Or maybe even one of the notorious gang, the THREE GARRIDEBS", added Watson, "Doyle, Conan, and Arthur."
"No, Watson, they've reformed and are now in the 'House of Lords'. Recently knighted by Her Majesty the Queen, they're now Sirs Arthur, Conan, and Doyle Garrideb.
"Arthur, Conan, Doyle. Hmm...now why does that sounds familiar," muttered Watson, gesticulating with the Webley special.
"My dear Watson, can you please stop waving that pistol around? Remember your old war wound? You might shoot yourself in the shoulder or leg again, I can't remember...".
*Bang!*
"Oh dear, oh dear. I hope that priceless Ming vase given to you by Indonesian ambassador Sir Giantratof Sumatra was insured", murmured Watson, sheepishly.
"Yes it was, my dear Watson. Being well aware of your consistently errant marksmanship, I had a few possessions around here insured with Ricoletti of 'The Club Foot Insurance Co'."
"Thank goodness, Holmes. What's this I see on the floor?" inquired Watson.
He reached down and picked up a key...
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about cryptic codes and revenge. Which story?
4. Watson reached down and picked up a key that fell out of the broken vase. An attached tag read: "N.K.H."
"What do you make of this, Holmes?" queried Watson.
"My dear Watson, as I cannot make heads nor tails of what was taken so far, hang onto that key. It might give us a clue. In the meantime, I'll start examining everything for any cigarette ash or a discarded match. Our FINAL PROBLEM will be to find whoever made a mess here."
Whereupon Holmes whipped out his magnifying glass and began searching for evidence. Watson retrieved a container from above the fireplace.
"At least the CARDBOARD BOX containing your father's MAZARIN STONE and mother's BLUE CARBUNCLE has not been disturbed. And here, your invaluable painting from the French Government, "Monique Lisette", by the celebrated painter Leodavinci, wasn't taken."
"*Sniff, sniff*. Quick Watson, the needle! I've found some cigarette ash...achoo!"
The evidence evaporated.
"Cheer up, old sport. Maybe you'll find a discarded match."
"Just did, old chum", exclaimed Holmes, as he reached for a tweezer...
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about Holmes and Moriarty's duel to the death. Which story?
5. Using a diamond-encrusted tweezer given to him by a recent client, LADY FRANCES CARFAX, Holmes lifted a used match from the dirty ashtray on the mantle. After examining it closely, he turned to Watson.
"My dear colleague, what can you deduce from this burnt match?"
Watson looked at the match closely, trying his best to observe anything of note.
"Well, Holmes, apart from the fact that the match is burnt at the tip, I cannot see anything else."
"Tut tut, Watson. You still see but cannot yet use the deductive powers the Almighty gave you. Because I chose to remain a lifelong NOBLE BACHELOR, my powers have not waned. You might recall the recent SCANDAL IN BOHEMIA, where we were paid a visit by an ILLUSTRIOUS CLIENT, Count Terford of Fun-Triviana. Now if I may surmise, whoever came in here, took a match from the book in my left Persian slipper with the intent of lighting his cigarette and not the fireplace, which was still cold, or my tobacco pipe, which was untouched. The interloper rightly knew that the right slipper, which was left undisturbed, had nothing in it.
Holmes shuddered.
"Watson, the trespasser is very familiar with our habits. We are in very grave danger!"
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On Conan Doyle's List of favourites was the story about Irene Adler and betrayal. Which story?
6. "Excellent reasoning, my dear Holmes! You must have been brilliant at school and never expelled."
"Elementary, my dear Watson!"
"You were expelled in elementary school?" Watson looked perplexed.
"No, no, my dear Watson. For some strange reason, I just had the urge to say that. No, it's elementary that one such as myself would have been brilliant at any stage of my formal school years. What's that noise coming from next door?"
"It's an old school chum of mine, Dr. Ben Turn, or Docturn to his friends. He's converting his home, SHOSCOMBE OLD PLACE into a private club for certain long-time trivia players. He showed me the PLANS from the architectural firm BRUCE-PARTINGTON just last month and has since hired a NORWOOD BUILDER to begin reconstruction last week. Right now it's just an EMPTY HOUSE.
"Come then Watson, let's go see how things are coming along at your friend's place. No time to waste!"
With that, they went next door.
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about Colonel Sebastian Moran and revenge. Which story?
7. Carrying umbrellas to shelter themselves from the rain, Holmes and Watson approached the semi-dark house next door. There were five figures attending to their work while one, eating an orange, pored over plans laying on a small table. A case of 'Identity' beer lay on the floor.
Holmes and Watson approached the one who appeared to be the foreman.
"Good night, good sir. Would it be a bother if we had a word with you and your men?" inquired Watson.
"Why, yes it would be a bother!" said the foreman looking up, sarcastically spitting out FIVE ORANGE PIPS."Why, if it isn't Mr. Sherlock Holmes, my good friend!"
"Sizzileen! How are you, my old school friend? Watson, meet Sizzileen. She and her five partners here, Angie 'the Gator', William 'the Bear', Marc the 'Trade', Dave 'the Step', and Frank 'the Griller' operate their own construction company in Norwood."
"How's it going", nodded William the 'Bear', lugging a bag of cement up some stairs.
"Horrible night!" said Marc the 'Trade', cutting a piece of wood.
"Good to see you", piped in Dave the 'Step', constructing some stairs.
"Fancy a beer? Sizzileen bought some," hailed Frank the "Griller", holding up a bottle of 'Identity'.
"Thanks, everyone, but we're fine. Watson, This construction crew calls themselves the SIX NAPOLEONS. It's amazing what they did for Her Majesty the Queen's summer residence THREE GABLES.
Holmes continued. "Watson, did you know that at Oxford, Sizzileen, myself, and a fellow named Joe were winning all the awards and scholarships? We came to be known as the THREE STUDENTS. Joe is now a professor at Cambridge. Goes by the title 'Dr. Joseph Bell'. Taught me a few things about observation and deductive reasoning."
After a bit of idle conversation, Holmes and Watson inquired if Sizzileen or the others saw anything suspicious recently. Only one piece of information proved useful.
"On Wednesday night a dark, furtive figure, clutching an arm, darted out of number 221B and hurried away," said Angie the 'Gator'.
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about the KKK. Which story?
8. "Clutching his arm and hurrying away..." mused Holmes.
"Where to next?" said Watson.
"To St. Jude's Hospital, my dear Watson. Our suspect might be needing medical attention."
A ten minute walk brought the pair to the front door of St. Jude's. Walking past a BLANCHED SOLDIER in the corridor, they approached a nurse who was doing a bit of sewing.
"Nurse, I need to speak to Dr. Julius No right away!" demanded Holmes.
"Why, are you DYING, DETECTIVE?" retorted the nurse, continuing her sewing.
"Uh, no, but my friend here vomited three times on the floor in the past hour", said Holmes pointing to Watson.
"Three times. Three stains. Tell me, which one was the worst?"
"The first one", whispered Watson.
"The SECOND STAIN!" stated Holmes emphatically.
"Gentlemen, you're trying to make a MUSGRAVE RITUAL out of this act and I will not be fooled! Now, exactly why are you here to see Dr. No?"
"In the past few days, did you see anyone hurry in here?" asked Holmes.
"Hundreds of people hurry in here every day, if you must know." replied the nurse.
"Well, this one likely hurried in here furtively", deadpanned Holmes.
"Why, yes. I did remember seeing a lady come in on a Tuesday evening. Had a red circle on her arm. We discharged her very early the following day. Had a dog leash with her and forgot it."
"Do you have a name?"
"Yes, it's Channe. Nurse Channe."
"Not YOUR name. The patient's name", said Holmes impatiently.
"Okay, just hold your horses, Guv. Here's the file", she said, handing it to him.
Holmes read the name and scribbled it down on a piece of paper. He showed it to Watson.
"Great Gloria Scott!" exclaimed Watson.
"Come Watson, the game's afoot!" replied Holmes, handing the file back to the nurse.
"'Ere, did you just say you have a gamey foot?" asked Watson.
"No, Watson, I smell a rat", replied Holmes.
"I don't smell anything", sniffed Watson.
"Good night, Nurse Channe. We must be off", said Holmes to the irritated woman.
And with that, the two men hurried off, taking the dog leash with them.
"No wonder our asylums are so full", muttered Nurse Channe to herself as she got back to work on the thumb of the engineer.
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about stolen documents. Which story?
9. It was early Saturday morning when the intrepid duo got back to their lodgings.
"I fear this case has the mark of the DEVIL'S FOOT in it, Watson. Professor Moriarty has hired a female to do his foul deeds. Most likely disguised under a YELLOW FACE or a TWISTED LIP to boot, no doubt."
"You fear the worst, Holmes?"
"Yes, Watson. The weather's foul, a most devious criminal has invaded my premises, and that nurse just propositioned me while she sewed up that ENGINEER'S THUMB!" shuddered Holmes.
"Are we any closer to the truth, Holmes?" inquired Watson.
"Yes, Watson, we are. Have you our evidence?"
When they got back to their lodgings, Watson laid out his collection.
- One red hair
- One key with "N.K.H." inscription.
- One burnt match.
- One dog leash
- One piece of paper with the name 'Debbie the Fatwoman' on it.
"Well, Watson, what do you make of our collection."
"My mind's as foggy as a London day", replied Watson.
"And as murky as the Thames River", thought Holmes.
Holmes continued with his analysis.
"What we have here is a most diabolical scheme to rid the world of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, once and for all. It's obvious that a female master criminal of the highest order, under the guise of 'The Fatwoman', has red hair, smokes cigarettes, and goes around with a vicious canine not unlike the Baskerville Hound, ready to rip me to pieces at a moments command. She may have enlisted a man to track my whereabouts and aid her in her nefarious plan. The initials on the key, possibly a signal to her hired assassin, might mean Norris-Kill-Holmes!"
"The cabman?!" exclaimed Watson.
"Yes, Watson. And the key is possibly for a strongbox of diabolical poisons and weapons. Hark! I hear footsteps approaching!"
The two heroes of many a grateful nation now stood poised and ready to strike down their newest and possibly deadliest nemesis...
In walked Mrs. Hudson.
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was the story about death by poison inhalation. Which story?
10. "Quick, Mrs. Hudson, lock yourself in your room and pretend you're a VEILED LODGER until it's safe to come out. Hullo, what do I see out the window here?"
"Why, Mr. Holmes, is anything the matter?"
"I just saw a SOLITARY CYCLIST riding across THOR'S BRIDGE and headed for the PRIORY SCHOOL. It could be the mysterious 'Fatwoman', our most dangerous adversary since Colonel Sebastian Moran and Professor James Moriarty. Hide, Mrs. Hudson, if you value your safety!"
With that, Holmes, with his walking stick, and Watson, with his revolver, crouched behind the furniture, weapons at the ready.
She looked at Holmes, Dr. Watson, and the room. She said slowly:
"Mr. Holmes. I'm afraid I have a confession to make."
"Pray tell, what confession, Mrs. Hudson?" Holmes peered out from behind the overturned couch.
Mrs. Hudson continued.
"After you left Monday morning, I came into your room to tidy up and my cat followed me in here. I stopped to take a cigarette but misplaced my matches, so I took one of yours."
"The red hair?" asked Holmes.
"Well, my neighbour across the street, "Benny the bookie", went away to the races to follow up on a hot tip and his 'red-haired' dog, 'Black Peter', got loose and ran in here. Chased my cat around and around, he did. Upset your stuff in the process. I hurt my arm trying to catch them both."
"The key with N.K.H.?"
"That'll be 'Natanya's Kennel Homes'. She loves dogs and runs a very reputable dog shelter in London. The key fits the cage that they keep him in until his owner returns. I took 'Black Peter' to the kennels on Tuesday evening, then went to the hospital later the same night. On Wednesday, I put the kennel key in your vase for safekeeping. In a hurry to see my sister, I 'darted out of 221B. and hurried away'. I had planned to return early and clean up before you returned."
"That would explain what Angie 'the Gator' saw!" exclaimed Watson.
"Then who is 'Debbie the Fatwoman'?"
"Well, I felt ashamed to leave my real name, so I used the first name that came to my head, my best friend's.
"By the way, how is your sister, Roberta 'Deardrea' Hudson?" asked Watson.
"Oh, she had a very bad cold but is feeling much better now", replied Mrs. Hudson.
"Achoo!" sneezed Holmes.
"Achoo!" sneezed Watson.
"Oh dear", said Mrs. Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson got up and went into the kitchen to make some chicken soup for her lodgers.
The world is once again a safe place, thanks to the extraordinary exertions of Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson M.D..
The End.
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On Conan Doyle's list of favourites was a story about the kidnapping of a Duke's son. Which story?
Source: Author
benniebenbenny
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agony before going online.
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