"Durka! Durka!" - 'Team America: World Police' Quiz

Answer: Paris

The terrorist's mission is to plant a weapon of mass destruction in the centre of Paris, France. Unfortunately for both the terrorists and the Parisians, Team America arrive in time to save the day. The initial gun battle takes place in the vicinity of the Eiffel Tower; a landmark ultimately destroyed along with the Arc de Triomphe by a missile launched by our heroes. A second missile launched by Team America's air support destroys the Louvre. Team America begin to celebrate.

"Bonjour everyone, don't worry, everything is bon; we stopped the terrorists!" announces team member Joe to a group of incredulous Parisians, as they gaze open-mouthed at what remains of some of their most famous and historic landmarks.

Their success however, is tinged with sadness at the death of their colleague Carson, shot and killed by a wounded terrorist in the aftermath of this engagement.

Answer: He ponders over the saddest moment in his life.

Gary Johnston is a troubled soul who hides a terrible secret; his acting skills were the cause of his elder brother Tommy being killed whilst protecting him on a trip to the zoo. Gary had slipped and fallen into the gorilla enclosure and his brother had jumped in to protect Gary from the troop of blueberry-crazed gorillas; try and work that one out if you can! It was this dreadful event, the saddest of his life, which drives Gary's particularly emotional style of acting. As Gary returns to his dressing room he is confronted by Spottswoode, the enigmatic and slightly camp head of Team America.

'Lease - The Musical' is a spoof based on the Tony Award winning musical 'Rent'. The first scene in which Gary Johnston appears is at the climax of the play with the assembled cast singing the song 'Everyone has AIDS', a finale which culminates with rapturous applause and a standing ovation from the audience.

Answer: Head

As Spottswoode and Gary leave the New York theatre in the organisation's stretched Lamborghini limousine, Gary asks what their meeting is all about. Spottswoode explains that there are certain people who want to kill Gary because of everything that he represents. As they travel onwards to Team America's headquarters, the car is suddenly transformed into a jet aircraft which takes off as they cross the busy Brooklyn Bridge and the vehicle flies over the backdrop of the New York city skyline and ascends into the clouds.

"OK, a limousine that can fly, now I have seen everything," says a surprised Gary.
"Really? have you seen a man eat his own head?" asks Spottswoode slightly sarcastically.
"No," replies Gary as Spottswoode goes on to elaborate about the incident in Paris the week previously.

Answer: Mount Rushmore

Team America's headquarters are securely sited within Mount Rushmore. Entry is made into the complex through George Washington's mouth. After meeting the team for the first time, Spottswoode explains the mission that Team America have planned for Gary. Spottswoode explains that, should Gary not want to accept, he can leave. He is surprised when Gary simply thanks him, turns and walks out!

"Meh," utters Spottswoode as he stands there surrounded by an expectant team, his arm raised in the direction of the door that Gary has just exited through.

Mount Rushmore was also featured in the classic 1959 Hitchcock adventure 'North by North-West' in addition to its use here as Team America's base.

Answer: It is a sophisticated computer system.

I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E is Team America's super computer, the most sophisticated IT system in the world... allegedly. However, this computer is not as sophisticated as its name suggests. It has a penchant for stating the obvious with much of its so-called intelligence being merely gleaned from news networks across the globe. Perhaps D.U.N.C.E. would be a more appropriate moniker!

Answer: Cairo, Egypt

Tavern? It's highly unlikely that any jihadi would frequent a tavern! After masterfully acting his way into the Chechen terrorists' confidence, Gary is suddenly ushered into a waiting vehicle; Team America operatives have been spotted outside! During the chase Gary, whose acting is so good, fails to convince Joe and Chris in the pursuing vehicle that he is, in fact, on their side - although this probably says more about Joe and Chris! Once again Team America succeed in destroying an ancient Pyramid and a group of equally ancient statues.

As Gary is plucked from the escaping vehicle by Lisa, the explosives-laden terrorist vehicle collides with the Sphinx and explodes, destroying that monument as well.

Answer: The Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.)

Alec Baldwin, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Matt Damon, Helen Hunt, Susan Sarandon and George Clooney are all members of the Film Actors Guild or F.A.G. Surprisingly, both Alec Baldwin and George Clooney had no issues with being lampooned in such a high profile way. Baldwin was even considering lending his vocal talents to his own character and Clooney is on record stating that he would've been disappointed if he had not featured in the film, as he is friends with both Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Sadly the same cannot be said of Sean Penn who took umbrage and sent the film-makers a letter expressing his anger at being mocked in such a manner!

Answer: He is killed in a shark attack.

Dr Blix arrives demanding access to every area of Kim Jong-il's palace and threatens him with a nasty letter expressing the UN's displeasure should he fail to comply. Angered, Kim Jong-Il manoeuvres Blix into a position over a trapdoor in the floor which he then releases, sending the unfortunate inspector plummeting to his death into a tank containing the North Korean leader's pet sharks.

It shouldn't be funny, but his headless corpse, and later his skeleton, still carrying his briefcase, always raises a wry smile and a little chuckle.

Answer: The Panama Canal

Whilst Gary and Lisa enjoy a night of passion together, in what could be considered to be the most amusing scene in the film, another terrorist group launches an attack on the Panama Canal early the following morning. On hearing this terrible news and believing that his actions and those of Team America in the Egyptian fracas were responsible for this retaliatory strike, Gary turns to drink.

This results in a drunken Gary laying face down and unconscious in a deep pool of his own vomit... Gross!

Answer: Michael Moore

Whilst Team America are engaged in a dogfight with aircraft piloted by both Durka-Durkastani terrorists and by the North Korean Air Force, a drunken Moore infiltrates the Team America headquarters complex and detonates an explosive vest killing himself and severely damaging their headquarters.

Described by the team's supercomputer as a 'giant socialist weasel', there had been some antagonism between Michael Moore and the film-makers over an interview and a cartoon that Moore had aired on US television. Revenge, as they say, is a dish best served cold... And if you can do it publicly, so much the better!

Answer: A montage

Arriving back at Team America headquarters to find it has been destroyed, Gary proves to Spottswoode, in a most unorthodox manner that he is, once again, committed to the team and wishes to mount a mission to rescue his colleagues from the clutches of Kim Jong-il. Using a popular cinematic cliché, the split screen montage, the scene shows Gary being trained in shooting, fitness and self defense.

Answer: George Clooney and Liv Tyler

After their rescue by a now highly trained Gary from the dungeons under the palace of Kim Jong-il, Team America make an attempt to save the lives of the world leaders gathered for the World Peace Conference. As they make their way through the palace to the conference venue, members of F.A.G. try to stop them; this action leads to a celebrity bloodbath! Both Clooney and Tyler are killed in the explosion of a hand grenade thrown by Team America member, and University of Nebraska all-star quarterback, Joe.

Answer: Cats

After Gary and Chris despatch the maniacal Susan Sarandon, Chris finally comes to accept Gary as an equal and reveals the true reason for his hatred of actors. At the age of 19 after being invited backstage by the cast of the musical play 'Cats', Chris was accosted by characters Rumpus Cat and Macavity; Rumpleteazer then held him down whilst Mr Mistoffelees molested him. Thanks to Gary's help, Chris' faith in actors and acting is now restored!

Answer: They are attacked and killed by Kim Jong-il's pet panthers.

After successfully trapping Team America's Sarah and Joe in a sealed room, Glover and Penn release Kim Jong-il's panthers. Sarah employs her psychic powers to take control of the animals' minds. Once this has been achieved she compels the cats to leap through the glass partition that separates them from Glover and Penn, both of whom are promptly ripped to pieces and killed!

Answer: A cockroach

After his failure to detonate the WMD's located strategically across the world, a furious Kim Jong-il shoots Alec Baldwin dead in front of the assembled world leaders. Unbeknown to him, his captive Lisa has managed to get within striking distance behind him.

"Terrorise this!" she cries...

Lisa, delivering a swift kick to the North Korean leader's nether regions, causes him to fall from the balcony and die, impaled on the pickelhaube being worn by the conference representative from Germany. Revealed as an alien species resembling a cockroach, the creature that was occupying the body of Kim Jong-il exits the corpse through its mouth and hurries to an awaiting spacecraft announcing on his way that, like General Douglas McArthur, he will return one day to complete his mission.

But, for now, civilisation and the world are saved! Hurrah!