I'm Not a Bum, I'm a "Jerk" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Thermos

Navin traded with a bum to get the thermos because it had sentimental value. He sang the "Thermos Song" for Marie when they were dating. "I'm picking out a thermos for you, not an ordinary thermos for you, but the extra best thermos you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in." He must have written the song himself, because I don't remember hearing it on any Zeppelin albums.

Answer: False

Nahhh, he stepped right in it. He is a jerk, you know.

Answer: "See a doctor and get rid of it."

Navin told his mother that he would find what he's looking for; "I know it's out there.", he said. His brother, Taj, told him, "It's out there, alright, and if you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it."

Answer: St. Louis

He hitch-hiked to St. Louis because that's where the radio station on which he heard his new music was broadcasting. He worked at Hartounian's Service Station for $1.10 an hour. "Dear folks, I got this great job in a gas station. I don't want to say how much I'm getting, but let's just say it's a lot." Heck, it's more than I make now.

Answer: Chevrolet

"They might not exactly be here when you get back, but it's a blue Chevy two-door and it'll be going south on Hertatto Street. No, I can't make out the license number, but it'll be pulling a small church. So, any blue Chevy pulling a small church, I'd figure that'd be the one."

Answer: Harry Hartounian

Harry Hartounian (played by Jackie Mason) said this after Navin burst into jubilation when the new phone book arrived. He knew he was going to be somebody now. Little did he know, the somebody he was going to be was the "random, milk-face" that the mad sniper picked out of the phone book to shoot. Frosty was Navin's new boss at the carnival; he tells him that "There's a big future in weight guessing".

Answer: Her buttock

"Gosh, you have my last name tattooed right there, under the J's. First I get my name in the phone book, and now I'm on your [butt]. You know, I bet more people see that than the phone book."

Answer: Cosmetologist

"Really? A cosmetologist? That's unbelievable! That's impressive! It must be tough to handle weightlessness!"

Answer: He was run out of business by the new Cup O' Pizza guy

The new Cup O' Pizza guy makes "the best pizza in a cup ever. This is unbelievable. He ran the old Cup O' Pizza guy out of business. People come from all over to eat this." Navin also decorated his trailer with furnishings from the old Cup O' Pizza place before they tore it down.

Answer: Nine weeks and five days

"The first day seemed like a week, and the second day seemed like five days, and the third day seemed like a week again, and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that just seemed like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days..." Etc., etc., etc.

He had the rest written down somewhere.

Answer: White and blonde

Navin was "raised a poor, black child". His entire family was black.

Answer: 50 of the donuts

"I could take 50 of the donuts and deposit the other 200 beauties." Then his head spun around during the "filling out of the deposit slip", when he realized the check was actually for "two hundred and fifty thousand dolla..."

Answer: 2

"Ah yes, I have my temporary driver's license, and my astronaut application form. I didn't pass that, though; I failed everything but the date of birth. I didn't get the job."

Answer: Los Angeles

"Yeah, I'd give anything to find her. Well, that sounds a little high; how about seventy five dollars?" Marie was working at the May Company in Los Angeles applying "Maskoderm" to customers at the makeup counter.

Answer: Irving

"What are you doing to my husband, you Ms. Blondie? Irving, Irving, are you crazy?"

Answer: A French-style bidet with gold inlay

It also included an all-red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel, a disco room with his own disco dancers, an office with orange and white stripes, and a big backyard with Grecian statues, S-shaped hedges, and three swimming pools. Very similar to my summer home.

Answer: Hobart and Hester

It took Hobart nearly five whole minutes before he was over his grief enough to resume his duties.

Answer: Cat Juggling

The cat juggler does look a heck of a lot like Steve Martin. However, according to the credits, the Cat Juggler is played by Pig Eye Jackson.

Answer: Carl Reiner

Carl Reiner also directed "The Jerk". His faulty depth perception caused by the Opti-Grab kept him from yelling "Cut!" at the right time. He yelled "Cut!" several seconds after two actors in a sports car drove over a cliff. The plaintiffs won the suit, and each one was awarded "one dollar and nine cents".

Answer: Oven mitt

They didn't stick around for the oven mitt. Navin tied their car to the small church next door, but that didn't keep them there either. It did slow them down a bit, though. This is a most hilarious scene.