Santa Claus: A Musical Biography Quiz

Answer: Santa Claus Lane

Each verse of the song opens with a cheerful, "Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane!" Of course, his imminent arrival comes with a long to-do list: you've got to "hang your stockings and say your prayers ... jump in bed and cover your head ... fill your hearts with Christmas Cheer ..." and finally "give thanks to the Lord above." There's no mention of milk and cookies, here, but they seem unlikely to be forgotten.

Gene Autry (you'll see this name again later!) wrote this song with Oakley Haldeman and recorded it in 1947; its success inspired him to re-record it twice. It's been covered by artists as varied as Doris Day, Willie Nelson and Ludacris - truly a tune with a broad appeal!

Answer: A home in the Hamptons

"Santa, baby, slip a sable under the tree / For me. / I've been an awfully good girl, Santa, baby / So hurry down the chimney tonight." The singer goes on to demand "a '54 convertible, too / Light blue" and specifies the "one thing I really do need / The deed / To a platinum mine." There's also a duplex, checks, decorations from Tiffany's, jewelry, and even a yacht - but no house in the Hamptons. There's at least some limit on what Santa can get down the chimney!

Written by Joan Javits, Philip Springer and Tony Springer, "Santa Baby" brought fame and success down the chimney for Eartha Kitt, the first artist to release it, in 1953. It seems this humorous Christmas list has a lot of appeal: it's been covered by many, many people, including Madonna, Macy Gray, and the inimitable Miss Piggy.

Answer: He knocks at the door.

"Hangin' my stockin'," Armstrong recounts, "I can hear a knockin'. 'Zat you, Santa Claus?" The darkness of the night, the howling of the wind, and the vague possibility of goblins terrify the singer, who repeatedly asks his visitor to confirm whether or not he is, in fact, Santa Claus. (He also suggests that Kris Kringle could simply slip any gifts for him under the door.)

You will no doubt be relieved to know that the nighttime visitor is, in fact, Santa Claus ("That's him, all right!") - and that Louis Armstrong and the Commanders saw success with this 1953 piece written by Jack Fox.

Answer: All I Want for Christmas Is You

In "All I Want for Christmas Is You," written by Mariah Carey and Walter Afansieff and released by Carey in 1994, the singer doesn't want anything that can legally be wrapped up and placed under a tree. She wants her love to be hers forever: "I just want you for my own / More than you could ever know / Make my wish come true / Baby, all I want for Christmas is you!"

Of course, despite the fact that Santa Claus has never been known to engage in human trafficking, the singer eventually turns to his gift-giving prowess anyway: "Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me?" Carey isn't the first to ask for a favor like this: the Wilsons' 1993 single "Hey Santa!" makes a similar request, asking "Hey Santa, Santa, bring my baby home tonight! ... I know your sleigh is full inside / But won't you stop and give my baby a ride?"

Answer: On Christmas Eve, to make Rudolph a job offer that makes him the envy of the reindeer who had been harrassing him.

The song shows that Santa's intervention was perhaps a bit belated: there was a substantial time period when "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names / They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." And his involvement was spurred by the weather, rather than his reindeer resources problem: it was "one foggy Christmas Eve" that made him realize how useful Rudolph's nose could be in lighting the path of his sleigh. The job offer was an effective solution to Rudolph's problem, however: after seeing how useful his bright red nose was, "the reindeer loved him."

The character and story of Rudolph were developed in 1939 by a man named Robert L. May who was working for the Montgomery Ward department store. It wasn't set to music until a decade later; Gene Autry's 1949 version hit #1 on the U.S. Billboard Best Sellers in Stores chart. Rudolph has gone down in history!

Answer: "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night."

"...Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white / What a laugh it would have been / If Daddy had only seen / Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night." The joke is that the "Santa" the child recognized was not actually Santa Claus, but Daddy wearing a costume - but how can we really be sure?

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" caused some controversy when it was first released, for mixing romance and scandal with a religious holiday. Since that time, however, it's become regarded as an innocent and sweet little ditty, and it's been covered repeatedly - by the Jackson Five and Jessica Simpson, among others.

Answer: "His elves are always watching you."

In this 1934 Christmas standard, written by J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie and sung by far too many artists to begin to name, Santa does all the legwork himself. He's the one who's "making a list"; he's the one who's "checking it twice"; and he's the reason "you better watch out / You better not cry / You better not pout." Most other Santa songs depict the right jolly old elf as a friend to children and an all-around nice and merciful guy; this is the rare song that underlines his role as an enforcer.

Answer: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer," begins this soulful novelty song written by Randy Brooks, "walking home from our house Christmas Eve." As the song continues, the dark details come out: she had drunk too much eggnog and gone home alone, and the next day investigators found "incriminatin' Claus marks on her back." The singer concludes, "You can say there's no such thing as Santa / But as for me and Grandpa, we believe."

The song inspired a 2000 television cartoon that set the record straight: Santa was framed by a greedy cousin, and Grandma turned out to be all right. Thank goodness - think what would happen if Santa had to cross himself off his list!

Answer: "Father Christmas" by The Kinks

The youths continue, "We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over / We want your bread, so don't make us annoyed. / Give all the toys to the little rich boys." It goes on to explain that the kids' fathers don't have jobs, that they "got nothin'," and that, by the way, they'd like "a machine gun / So I can scare all the kids down the street." Although this may have been a department store Santa, rather than the genuine St. Nick, this must have shaken the real Santa Claus terribly.

Answer: "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow"

The second verse and the bridge tell us, "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow / Will find it hard to sleep tonight. / They know that Santa's on his way / He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh / And every mother's child is going to spy / To see if reindeer really know how to fly." It seems that Santa Claus inspires not only insomnia, but also an interest in espionage!

"The Christmas Song," often recognized by its opening reference to "chestnuts roasting on an open fire," was written in the summer of 1944 by Mel Tormé and Bob Wells, who were trying to beat the heat by thinking cold thoughts. The song has been recorded by dozens of artists since that time, but Nat King Cole's 1961 orchestra-backed recording (the fourth time he recorded the song) is probably the best known.