Less Love, Less Laughter Trivia Quiz

Answer: Voltaire

With this type of attitude, it shouldn't come as any surprise that Voltaire never committed himself to marriage. That is not to say he didn't enjoy the company of the opposite sex however. During his eighty-three years of life he had numerous affairs.

The most notable amongst these was the fifteen-year relationship he shared with Gabrielle-Emilie Le Tonnelier de Breteuil, the Marquise du Chatelet, who it could be argued was Voltaire's intellectual equal. They shared a mutual interest in science and spent much of their time researching and performing experiments at her residence, Chateau de Cirey.

Although the Marquise was married, it was fortunate for Voltaire that her husband, Marquis Florent Claude du Chatelet, was not concerned about her extra-marital affairs and was an infrequent visitor to the chateau.

Answer: Diana, Princess of Wales

Television sets were tuned in worldwide on the 29th of July, 1981 to watch Lady Diana Spencer marry Prince Charles at St. Paul's Cathedral thus becoming the Princess of Wales. In an address to the House of Commons in December 1992, the then British Prime Minister John Major, formally announced the seperation of the Prince and Princess of Wales. Televisions were tuned in once again in November 1995 when, in an interview on the BBC current affairs program 'Panorama', Diana confirmed the worst-kept royal secret.

The third person that Diana alluded to was Camilla Parker Bowles, nee Shand. Charles had been romantically involved with Camilla since the 1970's and allegedly expressed a desire to marry her; she was deemed to be an unsuitable wife for a future king. Opinions obviously changed however and the two were married in 2005. Being the great-granddaughter of Alice Keppel, the royal mistress of King Edward VII, it has been reported that when meeting Charles for the first time at a polo match, Camilla offered up the following proposition:

"My great-grandmother was your great-great-grandfather's mistress, so how about it?"

Answer: Lee Trevino

You have to have some sympathy for Lee here. It was Claudia Fenley, the second of Trevino's three wives, who encouraged him to join the Professional Golf Association (PGA) in 1966. With one child from his first wife, a growing family with his second and having to supplement his income as the club professional at his local course in El Paso by gambling on rounds of golf that he played, money was tight in the Trevino househould. Playing in an era that was dominated by Jack Nicklaus, Trevino won six major championships between 1968-1984 and a total of eighty-nine professional career tournaments. It is not certain how much of his prize money he got to see though, judging by this quote:

"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."

Answer: Zsa Zsa Gabor

The marriage between Zsa Zsa Gabor and hotel magnate Conrad Hilton was the second for both of them and lasted for four years. Zsa Zsa has claimed that during this marriage she slept with Conrad's son from his previous marriage, Conrad 'Nicky' Hilton junior. Later on Nicky married Elizabeth Taylor; the first of her eight marriages. Now this Nicky Hilton is not to be confused with Nicholai 'Nicky' Hilton who is the great-granddaughter of Conrad Hilton senior. She is also the sister of Paris Hilton, who once worked for a modelling agency owned by another hotel magnate, namely Donald Trump, who was once married to Ivana Trump. And so are the days of our lives.

Zsa Zsa is a veritable fountain of knowledge when it comes to marriage and divorce. Here are a couple more pearls of wisdom from her:

"I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house."

"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."

It was not only Zsa Zsa who saw the funny side of her many marriages either, this quote comes from Bob Hope:

"Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off and it was so successful she turned it into a series."

Answer: Mickey Rooney

For such a small lad, Mickey Rooney seemed to be a big hit with the ladies, but somehow never quite measured up. There were many other casual liaisons through his life, but his marriage rap sheet looks like this:

Ava Gardner, actress, married 1942, divorced 1943.

B. J. Baker (a.k.a. Betty Jane Rase), singer, married 1944, divorced 1949.

Martha Vickers, model/actress, married 1949, divorced 1951.

Elaine Devry, actress, married 1952, divorced 1958.

Barbara Ann Thomason (a.k.a. Carolyn Mitchell), beauty queen/model/low budget film actress, married 1958 until Thomason's murder in 1966.

Marge Lane, close friend of Thomason, married 1966, divorced 1967.

Carolyn Hockett, married 1969, divorced 1975.

Jan Chamberlain, singer/actress, married 1978.

With so much experience, you'd expect Mickey to have a tip or two for would-be brides and grooms, and he does.

"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."

Answer: Woody Allen

It's obvious what the problem was here, they married too young as this other quote from Woody proves:

"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."

In 1954, a nineteen-year-old Allen married philosophy student Harlene Rosen, just sixteen years of age. It was not a happy union and the pair divorced in 1959. Rosen was later used as the butt of many of Allen's jokes in his stand-up comedy routines, something she didn't take kindly to and so sued him for defamation.

Answer: Margaret Atwood

Margaret Atwood is one of Canada's most successful and widely-read authors. Her works include novels, short stories, poetry and children's fiction. She was awarded the Booker Prize in 2000 for her historical fiction novel "The Blind Assassin." While studying for a PhD at Harvard University, Atwood met Jim Polk, whom she married in 1967 and divorced in 1973. During these years Atwood produced and published a large number of poems, particularly love poems, that were inspired by her marriage. For myself, I'd rather take the amputation that Atwood likens divorce to rather than that which Robin Williams defines it as in this quote:

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Answer: Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman first met Tom Cruise in 1989 on the set of the movie they were both filming at that time, "Days of Thunder". Romance soon blossomed between the two and they were married the following year. As a married couple they appeared in two more films together, "Far and Away" in 1992 and "Eyes Wide Shut" in 1999.

But with Nicole standing at just under five feet and eleven inches and Tom measuring in at a little over five feet and seven inches, the two were never going to see eye to eye. Divorce for the couple was realised in 2001. Nicole cited the fact that she didn't want her two adopted children with Cruise to be brought up as Scientologists (Tom's 'religion' of choice) as being a contributing factor to this divorce. I suspect she may have been fed up with him jumping on the couch and talking about spaceships as well.

Answer: Axl Rose

I would have thought that it should be obvious that one plus one can only equal two. However, Axl made this unbelievable statement in an interview with "Rolling Stone" magazine in 1989 and most likely alludes to his first wife Erin Everly. Axl first started dating Erin, the daughter of Don from the Everly Brothers, in 1986 and they were married in 1990. Everly has claimed that she only agreed to marry Rose when he turned up at her house with a firearm and threatened to shoot himself if she refused.

They divorced in 1991 and some years later and Rose paid Everly a reported one million dollars plus out-of-court settlement for physical abuse she had suffered at the hands of Rose throughout their relationship. You're a real charmer Axl.

Answer: Groucho Marx

And you can't argue with that! Groucho himself was married three times and he seemed to have a liking for the young girls. In 1920, the then twenty-nine year old Groucho married Ruth Johnson, ten years his junior, and divorced her in 1942. At the age of fifty-four he married twenty-one year old Kay Marvis, a marriage that lasted from 1945-1951. His third marriage to twenty-four year old Eden Hartford lasted between the years 1954-1969, Groucho was sixty-three years old at the time of this wedding.

Not to be outdone by Groucho, the three incorrect options have also provided their own humorous takes on holy matrimony:

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." Mae West

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." Rodney Dangerfield