Will She or Won't She? Trivia Quiz

Answer: Attraction

Some quality of a person that we meet will draw our attention. Once established, even momentarily, we flirt to draw attention to ourselves and, then, to gauge how interested the other party may be. Researchers have put forward that the attraction becomes the initial trigger.

The response, from this point forward, need not be rational, nor does it need to be a conscious decision. After catching their breath men may take actions that will stiffen their stance, draw in their bellies and/or puff out their chest.

These are flirting actions designed to draw attention. The female response may be a toss of the hair, a slight giggle or running the tongue lightly across the lips.

Answer: Traditional

When the "traditional" flirting style is employed it is expected that the male would make the first move followed by the female providing some form of indication of responsiveness. The woman's role in this style is limited and this, in turn, is likely to hinder their prospects to attract a suitable partner. Men, on the other hand, are in the driving seat of this interaction and, after making the initial move, will generally be the ones who will promote any future interactions.

The traditional male is likely to have known his intended partner for some time before making their approach. They are most likely to move with caution toward any romantic engagement and are generally seen as introverts and somewhat socially awkward.

Answer: True

Signals deployed under this style of flirting are driven by a strong physical (no pun intended) attraction with the ultimate goal, usually, being a sexual encounter. The messages that are delivered are typically verbal in nature and the banter will most likely be suggestive in content. Couples engaging in this form of flirting are generally comfortable in expressing their desires and you will find that if a relationship develops, it will develop rapidly.

However, not all physical flirting needs to have sex as the final goal. It could easily be for some other kind of reward. For example, you could be in a bar and flirt with the barperson with the aim of securing a free drink for yourself.

Answer: Sincere

Sincere flirters believe that to promote a strong and enduring relationship there needs to be a solid emotional connection. These people are seekers of intimacy and, to this end, are most likely to show an interest in their prospective partner's personal life and won't be backward in disclosing deeper information about themselves.

They also have this tendency to believe that other people are flirting with them and will find this flattering. The drawback for this style of flirting is that it will not necessarily be an effective method of conveying interest of a sexual nature.

Answer: Self esteem

There is a playful style of flirting that is good for one's ego. This brings to the surface a kind of purity to the art of flirting as there is not necessarily the desire for a relationship or the development of a relationship between parties. The finding of acceptance without strings is an uplifting experience, but there are dangers here, as signals can be misinterpreted.

There is a vagueness that is attached to flirting and this is deliberate as it allows the participants to withdraw without loss of reputation.

However, that very same vagueness can lead to one party interpreting that the other is saying "yes" when, really, they're not interested at all.

Answer: They're rule governed

Polite flirters tend to be cautious in their approach, so they're not likely to be playful or overtly sexual in their approach. For them, flirting is a means toward attaining a sincere and emotional connection (further ruling out the other option above).

The issue they are likely to have with their cautious approach is that their potential partner may see this as a lack of interest in a romantic relationship and their moment could be lost.

Answer: Non-verbal cues are accurately interpreted all the time

One of the keys of flirtation is its vagueness. This not only adds to the mystery of the occasion but it also provides a means to escape out of the situation while still preserving the reputations of those participating. The interpretation of signals is not set in stone.

This doesn't simply arise from the way individuals think but the same signals between generations and cultures may have completely different meanings. Genders will respond differently to similar signals. The place and the context may also impact on the understanding.

For example, a person with an outwardly friendly disposition may be incorrectly seen to be delivering an invitation of a sexual nature.

Answer: Money

Aristotle argued that "all communication is goal oriented". Flirting is no exception to this. The initial contact/flirting is toward establishing some form of relationship. This applies whether it be for fun, sex, friendship or romance. The exploration motive behind flirting is to gauge the other party's interest i.e. will she or won't she? Will she flirt back, will she laugh or will she dive into her handbag and bring out that can of mace?

Researchers indicate that flirting is a part of our psyche and that it is tied into our need to multiply and, hence, preserve the species. Whilst the attainment of money can be a motive for flirting it is not strongly linked to our need to "meet and multiply".

Answer: False

In contrast, Antonio Damasio M.D. (University of Iowa), indicates that flirting is a response to attraction and, in that instant, intellect is temporarily suspended, and we react on intuition. He called it a "gut-feel". He provides the example of a very pretty girl walking past and men (instinctively) suck in their bellies and puff out their chests. The first time Richard Burton laid eyes on Elizabeth Taylor he exclaimed "She was so extraordinarily beautiful that I nearly laughed out loud...". This was Burton's emotional brain, Damasio argues, kicking in, not his rational one. It would not have been out of place if Richard had felt a momentary sense of giddiness or a slight flush to the face. Looking at this another way, let's pretend that his emotional brain didn't kick in and say that he allowed his intellect to be in total control from the very outset. He would have thought of all the possibilities of what may or may not have happened. For a number of people this would be too much, they will overthink the situation and there is a strong chance that a relationship may not have occur. There's also a chance they could run screaming from the room.

The counter argument to this is that "he (Burton) married her a second time" but this would reek of the traditional flirting - he would have known her (Taylor) at this point, known what pain the previous relationship had caused and would have made the conscious decision that life with her and the torment was a better one than life without her at all. Damasio would also argue that his statement is based on their initial meeting. After the (reactionary) flirtation would come the (rational) courtship and relationship.

Answer: To increase the demand for themselves

Dr Jeremy Nicholson posted an article in the June 2016 edition of Psychology Today magazine that focussed on the research of P.K. Jonason and N.P. Li and their article "Playing Hard to Get: Manipulating One's Perceived Availability as a Mate" (2013). The study revealed that there are two primary reason for men and women to play hard to get:
- to make someone want them more i.e. increase the demand for them and
- to test the other partner's level of willingness to commit to a relationship.

To do this (play hard to get) successfully, however, required a great deal of skill and walking a tightrope between how long to play and how soon, or at what level, to reward. To this end they conducted a survey that focussed on the levels of attraction to people who (a) played hard to get (b) played easy to get or (c) met a balance somewhere between these two. Those seen as "easy" were attractive to partners seeking a short term engagement, generally sexual in nature, but most preferred those of medium availability. These provided the right level of intrigue/mystery and the reward for their own persistence. That small number who'd indicated that they would enjoy the pursuit of those that played hard to get also intimated that they were happy to accept the frustration against the desire.

The majority of the research for these questions was obtained from articles written in a number of "American Science" and "Psychology Today" magazines.