Alan Partridge - The Man, The Myth, The Legend! Quiz

Answer: "Dying or about to die."

Later Alan 'proves' that the show is not moribund by asking the audience and by strapping himself to the 'Wheel of Death'.

Answer: Sprunt

Alan's illegal advertisement of Sprunt goes horribly wrong for him when he finds himself in the jacuzzi with 'Hot Pants'. Alan had thought that they were women, but it turned out that they were not. He looks distinctly uncomfortable.

Answer: 'KMKYWAP'

KMKYWAP stands for 'Knowing Me Knowing You With Alan Partridge'.

Answer: We never find out

We never actually find out what Alan keeps in the drawer... but the mind reels in a number of unpleasant directions! Lynn accidentally opens it and Sophie steals a peek, but the audience is not let in on the contents. The hotel staff is also found crowding around it at Alan's leaving party.

Answer: "Smell my cheese."

Alan: [Sniffs the large block of cheese on the end of his fork] "Mmm. Quite nice. Smells. Do you want to smell it?" [He offers the cheese to Tony.]
Tony: "No thanks."
Alan: "Smell the cheese."
Tony: "No I don't want to."
Alan: [More forcefully] "Smell my cheese!"
Tony: "Alan, please."
[Alan stands up thrusting the cheese at Tony]
Alan: [Shouting] "Smell my cheese, you mother!"

The lap dancing scenes are (fortunately for Alan's already fairly damaged career) all in his head.

Answer: "Beefburgers."

Funnily enough, all of these answers have been involved in the conversation with Peter. The mutated plums are from Alan's accusation that Peter has plums in his mouth... "and the plums have mutated and they've got beaks". The spinal column in a bap one is from Alan's assertation that a farmer that didn't laugh at his joke must have eaten an infected spinal column in a bap and that it was this that hade made him a little slow on the uptake. Chips are another unlikely foodstuff that Alan accuses Peter of feeding to his animals, but it is donkeys that Alan thinks Peter feeds chips to, not swans.

Answer: Helvellyn

"Look, your mum and I, believe me, we did it everywhere. You know, in the lounge, in the hall, behind a large boulder on Helvellyn on my birthday. Actually, that's where you were conceived. Well, we just didn't take precautions. No! No, we were delighted. Well, I mean, at first I was mortified, you know, but, then you were born and we grew to like you."

Fernando is also mentioned in 'Knowing Me Knowing You With Alan Partridge', where Alan makes a big show of knowing his children's birthdays to Keith Hunt, who has just forgotten his son's.

Answer: "Eat my goal!"

"Eat my goal" is from Alan's days as a sports reporter on 'The Day Today'. This particular line came from his unorthodox commentary on the World Cup.

Answer: Bono

Unfortunately his ruse is uncovered by a very poor impersonation by one of Lynn's Baptist friends.

Answer: Walking away from the pulping plant after seeing 'Bouncing Back' being pulped.

Alan appears to take this latest disappointment quite well. Perhaps the best he's ever taken anything that hasn't gone his way.

It's a minor miracle that he didn't get sacked from Radio Norwich, considering the numbers of complaints from farmers and his regular outbursts during conversations with Dave Clifton (played superbly by Phil Cornwell).