British TV Comedy - 'Bad Education' - The Staff Quiz

Answer: Senior/High School

'Bad Education' is set in Watford, Hertfordshire at the fictional Abbey Grove School. Stand-up comic and series writer Jack Whitehall has gone on record to say that both staff and pupil characters at Abbey Grove possess the worst attributes of many of the people that Whitehall encountered during his own school years.

This programme was originally commissioned by BBC Three, which is one of a number of new television and radio channels that have come into being since the advent of digital television in the United Kingdom, the 16 to 34 age group being its target audience.

Although it has proved to be a popular and innovative channel, budget restraints have resulted in BBC Three being earmarked for closure as a terrestrial station and in February 2016, it will become an on-line only channel.

Answer: History

Alfie Wickers, played by Jack Whitehall, has been described as 'the worst teacher on the face of the earth'. At the age of twenty three the newly qualified history teacher is only a few years older than the children in his class. Unfortunately, Alfie Wickers is lazy and childish and is not as street-wise as he believes himself to be. Often the target of bullies, both teaching staff and pupils, Alfie has a real passion for his subject and often introduces unorthodox teaching practices in the class such a séance which had been conducted in an attempt to enable his pupils to speak to historical figures; His pupils love him, especially a certain young lady who takes a more inappropriate interest in Alfie than she should for a young lady of her age!

Answer: Scratchy

Although all four of these names have been used to refer to Alfie by staff and pupils at Abbey Grove School, it is 'Scratchy' that he was named by his former tutors and classmates at posh public school, Middleton House. It is revealed by Alfie's former sports teacher during the episode entitled 'Football Match' that his nickname stems from the fact that, under stress, he breaks out in eczema and used to sit at his desk in classes "scratching himself like a junkie"... How very eloquent! Downton Abbey is a name used on occasion by the school bully, Frank Grayson, alluding to Alfie's poshness.

Answer: Biology

Played by Sarah Solemani, Miss Gulliver, the biology teacher, is a little older than Alfie Wickers and has a very liberal outlook on life. Alas, Miss Gulliver doesn't reciprocate the feelings that Alfie has for her despite his attempts to appear more mature and more responsible. Rosie Gulliver is the voice of reason in the lunatic asylum that is the Abbey Grove School staff room. Rosie, recently split from her boyfriend, shows little or no interest in becoming romantically involved with Alfie.

She is ten years older and sees their difference in age as something of a stumbling block. In the second series Alfie discovers that Rosie has embarked on a same sex relationship with a former pupil; unsurprisingly, Alfie is distressed at this revelation but also finds himself strangely aroused by it at the same time!

Answer: Shaquille

If his first name wasn't ridiculous enough for a white British, middle class male, he also spells his surname 'Fra$er'... And his real first name? That's Simon. Fraser is a terrible school headmaster. Vain, conceited and totally lacking in any inter-personal skills, he frequently insults his staff, his pupils and their parents; the scene in which he is confronted by a delegation of parents in the first series episode 'Sex Education' being a cringingly funny example. Fraser is only concerned with being popular and wanting to be everybody's best friend, something at which he fails miserably. Sadly, at least for Alfie Wickers, he seems to have taken a shine to the young history teacher seeing him as someone that understands where he's coming from and that they are kindred spirits. Fraser is also guilty of diverting school funds which he invests in a number of hare-brained investment opportunities which all end, inevitably, in failure.

Answer: True

Severe, sadistic and humourless, just like an art teacher of my experience, Deputy Head Teacher Isobel Pickwell, played by actress Michelle Gomez, occupies a particularly austere office, the walls of which are festooned with all manner of propaganda posters. Portrayed as someone who operates rigidly with the rules, it is later revealed during an investigation into head teacher Fraser's professional competence that she has also been embezzling school funds.

As a consequence of being the victim of a childish prank, Pickwell disappears leaving a note which details her supposed suicide.

This is eventually revealed to be a pseudocide; she had in fact left the United Kingdom for her lover in Argentina, a man known as the Butcher of Bergdorff...

This fitted in rather nicely with her personality! Referred to by Alfie by a derogatory play on her surname, Pickwell despises his attitude and approach to his work and is never happier than when she is able to gloat over his misfortune or humiliation... Yes, Isobel Pickwell is not a woman you'd want to meet down a dark alley!

Answer: South Africa

Preet van der Plessis is a racist, homophobe, and vicious bully. Taking an instant dislike to Alfie who he sees as weak and feeble, he takes an inordinate amount of pleasure in inflicting pain on anybody who crosses his path. During a gym session in which the pupils are being instructed in methods of defusing violent situations, van der Plessis uses a range of techniques and weapons to inflict pain on Alfie. Eventually one of Wickers' horrified pupils pushes the Afrikaner to the ground where he is subdued and immobilised by Alfie using a Taser taken from amongst a display of weapons provided by the local police as part of a weapons amnesty.

Answer: Harry Enfield

Alfie is shocked to return to Abbey Grove and discover that his own father has been appointed head teacher. Only slightly more professional in the role than Fraser whom he replaced, Mr Wickers wastes little time in fulfilling his remit; one of his first tasks being to reduce the number of teaching staff at Abbey Grove and increasing the school's class sizes.

In addition to this, he also compounds Alfie's misery by indulging in sexual practices with an old flame, now a school inspector, during the working day in his office! Harry Enfield is a hugely popular British television comedian.

A long time partner of the equally talented Paul Whitehouse, Harry Enfield has brought some of British televisions most well-loved characters such as 'Tim Nice But Dim', Greek kebab stall owner 'Stavros' and stroppy teenager Kevin of 'Kevin and Perry' fame. If anybody still needs convincing over this man's comedic talents, simply look up his series of public information films starring 'Mr Cholmondley-Warner' in which Enfield stars as his sidekick, Grayson...

They are hilarious!

Answer: Drug counsellor

It is Drugs Awareness Day at Abbey Grove School and head teacher Mr Fraser has enlisted the services of the beautiful and flirtatious India, a professional drugs counsellor who works for 'Vibesline', a "non-judgmental drugs advice pipeline". Alfie Wickers is immediately attracted to India and turns on the charm much to the annoyance of Rosie. Unfortunately for Alfie, it seems that India is more than just a drugs counsellor - she's a drug user to boot and before long Alfie finds himself in more trouble! Failing to source any drugs after inviting India to a rave, he decides to make his own and his disastrous attempt results in Rosie Gulliver trying to explain away Alfie's crazed state by telling the other staff, his pupils and some of their parents that he is taking part in a serious, and very realistic drugs role-playing session!

Answer: Mathematics and Art

Mrs Mollinson, Abbey Grove's mathematics and art teacher, is by far the oldest teacher in the school but this affords her none of the respect that she may deserve. Don't let her meek and mild outward appearance fool you; she's been something of a sexual adventurer in her time, and she delights in sharing these stories with pupils and teachers alike as she regularly interjects with tales of the recreational pan-European swinging jaunts she takes with her unseen, submissive husband.