'M*A*S*H' - 'Patent 4077' Trivia Quiz

Answer: A vascular clamp

The 4077th is equipped with vascular clamps, but only ones designed to cut off blood flow in larger vessels. Hawkeye would like to have a clamp that is designed specifically for the smaller blood vessels found in the extremities.

Answer: Army corps of engineers

Colonel Potter's best suggestion is the army corps of engineers, but Winchester scoffs at the idea. Charles asks, 'How are these bridge builders going to forge such a delicate instrument -- bulldozer?' Potter responds, 'Winchester, those guys could build a sailboat from a pair of skivvies.' After a phone call, Colonel Potter discovers that the engineers can construct the clamp, but it will take 90 days.

Answer: On a shelf above her clothes

Margaret claims that she always puts her ring on the shelf above her clothes, neatly wrapped in tissue paper, right before she scrubs up for surgery. She searches everywhere, tossing dirty surgical clothing to and fro, but, alas, it seems to have disappeared!

Answer: Klinger

Klinger was cleaning around the prep room and mistook the wad of tissue containing Margaret's ring for trash. When Margaret asks Klinger to retrieve the tissue, he claims that it's already been taken away by a garbage truck. After threats on his very existence, Klinger runs off to find a jeep so he can chase down the garbage truck.

Answer: Zale

Sergeant Zelmo Zale claims himself to be a 'master craftsman', and Hawkeye and BJ reluctantly take him up on his offer. According to Zale, 'With a screwdriver, I'm a regular Leonard da Vinci.' Hawkeye hands Zale an existing clamp and sends the Sergeant off to work on his new invention.

Answer: Nurses

Hawkeye desperately negotiates with an engineer from the army corps, even offering to arrange a party with some nurses at the 4077th. BJ strongly objects to Hawkeye's plan, as do the nurses once he informs them of his silly machinations.

Answer: Every three stones, a diamond chip

Obviously, Donald Penobscott is very cheap. The merchant claims that he has nine rings identical to the one Margaret received from Donald, and that he acquired them from a guy in Tokyo who 'makes them by the dozen'. Along with the ring, Hawkeye and BJ request an inscription identical to the one Margaret had on her missing ring: 'Over hill, over dale our love will never fail'.

Answer: Mr. Shin

Mr. Shin offers Hawkeye and BJ several other items, including a silver snuffbox. When they see the box they get the idea that this crafty fellow might be able to solve their problems with the clamp. Mr. Shin confidently claims that it will only take him 2-3 days to have a working clamp, well worth the $10 dollars he will charge.

Answer: Yes

Unfortunately for Hawkeye, BJ and, especially, Klinger, the inscription has been done incorrectly on the ring. It reads: 'Over hill, over dale, our love will *ever* fail' ('ever' should read 'never'). Needless to say, Margaret is very unhappy about this when she discovers what the boys have done. Margaret upbraids Klinger for his participation in the plot, and Klinger finally responds, "Major, you're wrong. Nobody was trying to make a fool out of you. We just wanted you to have your ring back, that's all. You don't have to be grateful, but would it hurt to at least appreciate the effort?' Later, Margaret thanks Klinger and shows him her appreciation for his, BJ and Hawkeye's efforts.

Answer: Tweezers

Mr. Shin has obviously let his head grow a bit big after the success of his clamp. He plans to open a new line of 'Mr. Shin's Surgical Supplies'. His pearl-handled scalpel is nothing more than a Swiss army knife, complete with a spoon, can opener, cuticle remover and a corkscrew. When he mentions the corkscrew, BJ and Hawkeye suggest that that is something they can use!

Thank you for playing this quiz, I hope you enjoyed it and will try some of my other 'M*A*S*H'-related quizzes.