'M*A*S*H' - 'The Winchester Tapes' Quiz

Answer: Shooting himself in the foot

The only thing that apparently has stopped Charles from shooting himself in the foot is his desire to attend future annual debs cotillions (that's short for 'debutante', in case you were curious). Charles did mention that his father knew Harry Truman in the episode 'Fade In, Fade Out', and already used the threat of contacting him in that episode.

Answer: He has Officer of the Day duties

Much to Hawkeye's glee, Nurse Gilmore was engaged, but has broken it off. According to Hawkeye, Nurse Gilmore has 'grace, wit, sensibility, intelligence and charm', which makes it all the more surprising to Charles that she would be interested in Hawkeye. Charles generously decides to acquire Hawkeye's O.D. duty for the weekend, but only because it will provide him with a three-day vacation from Hawkeye.

Answer: His painting skills

Though Colonel Potter is 'responsible for [Charles'] presence in this cesspool (aka, the 4077th)', Charles has chosen to endear himself to the good Colonel. He describes Potter as a 'tough, bandy-legged little mustang' who paints serviceably, for a primitive. Charles has agreed to sit for one of Colonel Potter's paintings, and the final result is rather amusing. Charles complains so much that Potter portrays him angry-faced, mouth agape.

Answer: Humphrey Bogart

Radar provides a few extra t-shirts to a young soldier that he has swiped from the officer's supply room. He requests that the soldier keep quiet about it, as he does not want to miss Saturday's movie as punishment. It seems that the movie that weekend will star Bogart, though no title is given. Radar then does his impression of Bogart: 'Waiter, if me and the boys wanted to eat mucilage, we would have ordered mucilage.'

I certainly wouldn't want to eat mucilage, would you?

Answer: A case of Grape Nehi

Charles claims that the case of Grape Nehi is meant as a peace offering in conjunction with his apology for mistreating the poor little lad. In reality, Charles simply wants to bribe Radar into making a call to Colonel Baldwin in Tokyo. When Radar refuses to break Colonel Potter's orders not to call Baldwin, Charles cruelly takes the Grape Nehi away.

Answer: Pajamas

BJ hasn't got any pajamas to loan Hawkeye, he lost his only pair along with his 'faith, hope, sanity' and 'a liver'. Charles has a pair, but refuses to loan them to Hawkeye. In a tussle over the pajama pants, they are damaged (torn in half, really). Once the damage is done, Charles, with utter generosity, gives them to Hawkeye.

Answer: Attila the Hun

The scene shifts to the O.R. where Charles has just completed some difficult surgery on a patient's liver. Margaret has served as his nurse in the operation, and cannot stop complimenting Charles for both his surgical skill and his wit. While in conversation, Margaret suddenly has something caught in her eye and asks Charles to 'investigate'.

As he looks into her eye, their faces nearly meet. It's at this point that Father Mulcahy walks into the room and finds the two majors in this compromising position.

Answer: Pants

Of late, BJ has been showing concern for Charles' weight, or so he has led on. In reality, BJ simply has been manipulating Charles in order to better cajole him into his mischievous little ruse. You see, BJ has been switching Charles' pants, giving him a larger waist size one week, followed by a smaller waist size the next. To add insult to injury, BJ bemusedly announces to Hawkeye that, 'Starting tomorrow, he gets taller.'

Answer: No

As with previous episodes, when time is of the essence, time (and exhaustion) usually win out. Hawkeye is stuck at the 4077th after a fresh shipment of wounded interrupts his plans to head for Seoul. Hawkeye plasters a soldier's foot, and before BJ is able to take over, he has to report once again for surgery.

When the O.R. session is finally over Hawkeye is so exhausted that he falls asleep in the Swamp. Klinger brings Hawkeye's jeep but is unable to revive the good Captain.

Answer: A rubber chicken in his teapot

Earlier, BJ had been shining up this rubber chicken in a foreshadowing scene. BJ's jocular coup de grāce is the placement of this chicken comfortably within Charles' delicate little teapot. Charles is rather calm as he begins his final sentence, 'Now, mother and dad, I will put this as eloquently and succinctly as possible...' He then discovers the rubber chicken, prompting him to finish his message, 'Get me the hell out of here!'

I hope you enjoyed this quiz and will try more of my 'M*A*S*H'-related stuff. Thanks you.