"The High Life" Trivia Quiz

Answer: Sebastian Flight and Steve McCracken

Steve and Sebastian are the two air stewards who feel that life has perhaps treated them a little harshly.

Sebastian Flight is a take on the character name "Sebastian Flyte" from "Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh. Hilary Duff is the Captain of the aircraft, but no one can be quite sure how he reached that exalted position, he's useless!

Answer: The Air Scotia mascot

In "Dug" Steve asks Shona what is in the large box she is holding. She replies that it is a "Shuggy McGurk". Steve earns Shona's praise as "Observation is the first rule of stewardship", when he points out that it's rather a large box for "Yon wee fuzzy furry gonk they sell in the Air Scotia souvenir shop".

In fact it is a Shuggy McGurk costume which Sebastian then has to wear to entertain the children at the in-flight party. Not a pleasant job, it's synthetic fur you see...

Answer: An ornamental frog sitting in a shell

Sebastian: "...and it's got 'Florida' written in squid ink on the front...and look, if you shake it, its eyes move. Isn't it lovely?" Steve: "It's LOVELY" (somewhat sarcastically!).

The engagement ring is what Steve was looking for on the floor when Sebastian came in, he doesn't want Sebastian to know he intends proposing to Shona.

The jelly beans were for Sebastian, but he ends up sharing them with all the passengers when he forgets to order breakfast in time.

Answer: "Have we landed yet?"

This line is directly followed by a mild expletive and a look of alarm: roll credits. We presume they survive as they're all there for the next episode.

Captain Duff does a lot of things like this, including asking where they're flying to, it's always Heathrow, and he is convinced that this is in Austria. He also frequently has problems finding the cockpit and hence the instrumentation and equipment that would be there. Sebastian once finds him in the toilet looking for the joystick and the co-pilot.

While Captain Duff does not actually ask who proposed, he does tell them that he hopes they'll both be very happy, he's an old softy really!

Answer: He had fallen asleep on his sunbed and blistered his buttocks

Steve knows, Shona doesn't...or so Sebastian thinks. Steve has told her it was his verrucas, which enrages Sebastian.

It was Steve who had had a restless time with a girl called Rhonda McAllister, the biriani and the blue nun, on a futon.

Sebastian's dermititis has cleared up, Shona asked him as a retort to a wisecrack made when he was trying desperately to be nice to her in "Feart". And actually Shona does know about the sunbed!

Answer: They sing "O Flower of Scotland"

A beautiful harmonised version, unfortunately they only get two lines in before Shona stops them. Avril is Steve's childhood sweetheart and currently a Scottish revolutionary terrorist who will not tolerate a Full English Breakfast served on a Scottish airline.

She certainly wouldn't let them play her bagpipes, "Get your mitts off my pipes!", and although Steve does start to make her a haggis, she tries to hijack the plane before he can serve her with it.

Answer: A small island off the west coast of Scotland

Shona thinks she got the troll because she's carrying it when she comes on board for her birthday party, but no, it was the island. However,

"There's planning permission for a marina development, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Well, isn't she a lucky girl?!

Answer: Gordon Ferret

Ferret, who only went bad because he had a craving for "Stoat's chocolate creams" that only Vincent Stoat could satisfy when they were taken off the market.

Frank Weisel was Jim Hacker's original political advisor in "Yes Minister".

Answer: Latin American Ballroom Dancing and Tai Chi

The lead up to this is one of my favourite scenes from the series. Sebastian demonstrates the Bolero to Steve and they end up with Sebastian in that classic end-of-Bolero pose, flat out in the aisle, Steve crouching over him with a fire-extinguisher, dry-ice everywhere and the gangway lights lit up like the best theatrical rig. Steve thinks that it is like Tai Chi, only with more finger clicking, same arm movements.

It is at this point that Shona walks in.

Answer: Captain Duff

Yes, he is Captain Duff now, but he was in the SAS, and when you've done it once it's easy, "Like falling off a dog, log, bicycle."

Gretchen Betjeman was the re-train commander at the Air Scotia training school in "Birl", my favourite episode, she's a fearsome woman, but didn't come to their rescue this time.