Incompetent Old Soldiers Trivia Quiz

Answer: Douglas MacArthur

MacArthur, the Army Chief of Staff in 1932 personally led troops against fellow war veterans and their families. He disobeyed Hoover's orders when he was told to stand down, but proceeded to treat innocent civilians as enemy combatants. After being informed of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, MacArthur, instead of getting all his planes in the air, allowed them to sit at their bases in the Philippines and be destroyed. Despite outnumbering the Japanese, MacArthur managed to lose the strategically important Philippines anyway.

One order he did obey was when Roosevelt ordered him to flee the Philippines for Australia. He left stranded thousands of American soldiers and Philippine freedom fighters to be slaughtered, captured and become part of the Bataan Death March. MacArthur was awarded the Medal of Honor for political reasons, despite the fact that he showed no heroism. In fact, in the Philippines he was huddled up in an underground bunker and refused to go outside. He was demeaningly known as "Dugout Doug." After running his mouth time and again and second guessing the President and national policy, thereby undermining the war effort in Korea, Truman relieved MacArthur of command in 1951.

Answer: George McClellan

McClellan became Commanding General of the Union Army in 1861. President Lincoln repeatedly tried to get McClellan to march toward Richmond. Finally, in January 1862, Lincoln ordered McClellan to move on Richmond. The result was the Peninsula Campaign, which McClellan botched by moving his army by boat, thereby giving the Confederate Army time to build defenses around Richmond.

Despite his superior force, McClellan retreated and was recalled to Washington.

Answer: Vice Admiral Sir George Tryon, KCB

Vice Admiral Sir George Tryon, KCB had a reputation for keeping his captains on their toes by issuing orders at the last minute, and seeing how responsive they were. It was unfortunate that these were qualities that he did not always demonstrate himself. On June 22, 1893 Vice-Admiral Tryon was aboard his flagship HMS Victoria at the head of a double column of eight battleships and three light cruisers. They were steaming in two rows about 1,200 yards apart. In an attempt to show off his new fleet, Tryon gave orders that the two rows were to turn inwards of each other in a complete 180 degree maneuver, after which they would steam in the opposite direction. There was one huge problem with this idea, which was that the turning circle of a battleship was at least 800 yards.

Rear Admiral Albert Markham, who was in command of HMS Camperdown, the lead ship in the opposite column, had serious doubts about the order and he hesitated to obey it, but eventually made the turn as ordered. HMS Camperdown hit HMS Victoria and tore a large hole below the waterline, causing the flagship to sink in 13 minutes. Vice-Admiral Tryon went to the bottom along with 358 members of his crew. There was an inquiry, at which various explanations were put forward. One was that Sir George made a simple arithmetical mistake, perhaps as a result suffering from dyscalculia. Dyscalculia is a learning disability that affects a person's ability to understand numbers and math.

Answer: Battle of Trafalgar

The Battle of Trafalgar was a major blow to Napoleon's dream of conquering England. In the autumn of 1804 Napoleon had named Admiral Pierre-Charles Villeneuve commander of the French fleet. Villeneuve's assignment was to draw British Admiral Horatio Nelson's fleet to the West Indies, return secretly, and, in combination with other French and Spanish ships, enter the English Channel with an overwhelming naval force and invade England. In March 1805 Villeneuve succeeded in drawing Nelson after him to the West Indies. But Villeneuve then turned south to Cadiz, disregarding Napoleon's standing orders to proceed immediately to the Channel and rendezvous with the other French and Spanish ships gathered there.

Perhaps out of fear of Napoleon, in October 1805 Villeneuve sailed his fleet out of Cadiz to face the waiting fleet of Admiral Lord Nelson, the result was the Battle of Trafalgar. Admiral Nelson's better-prepared fleet consisted of 27 ships of the line compared to a combined French-Spanish fleet of 33 ships, led by Admiral Villeneuve. Nelson's superior tactics and the training instilled in his men won the day. The price of victory was the loss of Admiral Nelson, who died soon after being shot by a French sniper. Rather than face the wrath of Napoleon, Villeneuve committed suicide.

Answer: Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig

Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig was basically a staff officer. His strengths were in administration and organization. Because many thought the war on the continent would last only a few weeks or months, Haig was put in command of 6 divisions of the British Expeditionary Force on the western front.

At the first battle of the Somme 60,000 casualties were reported on the first day. He continued to view attrition as the most effective strategy and ended the battle with losses of 420,000 men. At the battle of Passchendaele, he lost another 275,000 men. For obvious reasons he was nicknamed "the butcher".

After the war the phrase "lions led by donkeys" came to be associated with the British Army.

Answer: Fort Donelson

As a young lawyer in Tennessee, Pillow befriended future President James K. Polk. In 1833 the governor of Tennessee appointed Pillow Brigadier General of the state militia. Polk won the presidency in 1845 with Pillow's support. In 1846, through his friendship with Polk, Pillow was made Brigadier General of Volunteers during the Mexican-American War. Though he did not support seccession, in 1861 he was commissioned Brigadier General in the Confederate Army. Pillow took command of Fort Donelson when its previous commander, Brigadier General John B. Floyd, abandoned his post and fled to avoid capture. Pillow did the same. The surrender of Fort Donelson was a strategic blow to the Confederacy as it controlled a major supply route.

Pillow was never held to answer for his actions at Fort Donelson. Although his later assignments came with less responsibility, i.e. recruitment and commissary. After the war Pillow went bankrupt but was eventually able to revive his law practice.

Answer: William Hull

William Hull, as of July 2024, is the only general officer in American history to be ordered before a firing squad for cowardice and dereliction of duty. Hull was governor of the Michigan Territory when the War of 1812 began. He was appointed Brigadier General and tasked with defending Michigan and invading Canada.

When faced with a lesser force led by Shawnee Chief Tecumseh, Hull surrendered Fort Detroit without firing a shot. He was spared execution by the intervention of President James Madison, who commuted the sentence to a dishonorable discharge and loss of rank. Hull's rank was later restored in recognition of his service in the Revolutionary War.

The remainder of his life was spent in obscurity.

Answer: Battle of Gaugamela

Like many commanders of his time, Darius III failed to recognize Alexander's strategic genius in spite of his young age. Alexander was only 25 when the Battle of Gaugamela was waged in 331BC. Persian armies were defeated in all four of the examples given, but the Battle of Gaugamela was Alexander's final defeat of Darius III. Alexander's victory over the Persian empire fulfilled his father's dream.

History would likely treat Darius III differently had he not come on the scene during the era of Alexander the Great. Like the great NBA players who had the misfortune of playing during the Michael Jordan era, Darius III was overshadowed. But what lands him on this list is his failure to accept or recognize Alexander's military acumen. These battles occurred year after year beginning in 334BC.

Answer: Lucius Sirgius Catiline

Lucius Sirgius Catiline was the leader of what became known as the Catiline Conspiracy. During this period the Roman Republic was crumbling and experiencing significant economic issues. Catiline and his fellow conspirators were hopelessly in debt, so their aim was to burn Rome, assassinate the members of the Senate and start over in order to eradicate their debt. Cicero got wind of the conspiracy and quickly crushed it. Catiline tried to escape with his army, most of whom deserted. Those that remained were defeated and Catiline was killed.

Answer: BGEN Jay MacKelvie

Brigadier General Jay MacKelvie was located after a pro-longed search hiding in a ditch, by his assistant commander. The division had a 100% replacement record. MacKelvie was replaced five days after receiving command.
The only discipline MacKelvie received was a plane ticket home.