Carl Hiaasen Trivia

1. What subject does Mrs. Starch teach?

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: Biology

Bunny Starch was about six feet tall and "wore her blond hair piled to one side of her head, like a beach dune. Mrs. Starch's school wardrobe never varied: a polyester pant suit in one of four faded pastel colors, and drab brown flats. She painted heavy violet makeup on her eyelids, yet she made no effort to conceal an odd crimson mark on her chin. The mark was the shape of an anvil and the subject of wild speculation, but nobody had gotten up the nerve to ask Mrs. Starch about it."

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: The school bus

Dana Matherson smashes Roy's face against the window. That is when he (Roy) sees the barefoot boy running on the sidewalk. The next day, Roy gets off the bus after punching Dana in the nose and follows the boy. He loses him, but tries again later. Eventually Roy follows the boy all the way to a golf course (where he meets up with some cottonmouth snakes), but does not see the boy's face.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: 45

She collected them in the woods to protect them from impending danger.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Governor of Florida

Though rumors abound that Skink is based on a real person, Hiaasen denies this, saying he wishes there had been some one like Skink holding office.

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: He only pretends to know the answers to questions

In the first week, Mrs. Starch did call on Graham when his hand was up. Unfortunately, he only acted as if he knew the answer-which is why the teacher hasn't acknowledged him since. In chapter one of the story, Mrs. Starch greets the class "in a tone so mild it was chilling" and then asks a question: "'Who's prepared to tell me about the Calvin Cycle?' Only one hand rose. It belonged to Graham, who always claimed to know the answers but never did."

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: Straw-blond

The book mentions it several times so I stuck it in. It also mentions that his skin was nut-brown, and he was skinny, but strong. Also, the bottoms of his feet were almost completely black from running barefoot.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Stuffed marlin

Hiaasen always has someone being killed in an odd and grim fashion. From his first book, 'Tourist Season', this was just a hint of things to come.

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: Libby

Libby Marshall is asthmatic and has a father in law enforcement. Marta Gonzalez has brown eyes, is afraid of Mrs. Starch, sits behind Libby in class, and is good friends with Nick. Nick Waters, for his part, secretly hopes to see a live panther some day. His father is "a captain in the National Guard" and his mother works at the prison. And Duane's full name is Duane Scrod Junior. "Nick had known him since elementary school, when he was two years ahead of Nick and known as Duane the Dweeb. One summer, Duane the Dweeb grew five inches and gained thirty-one pounds, and from then on everybody called him Smoke because that's what he wanted to be called. Some kids said it was because he was a pyro."

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: Officer Delinko

This guy cracks me up. Officer Delinko gets out to the site and meets Curly, the foreman. He notices that while the stakes for the bulldozers have been uprooted, nothing has been broken. He tells Curly that it isn't exactly vandalism. The next time he goes out there, he is on stake-out duty. He falls asleep and his patrol car windows get spray painted black. Officer Delinko and Curly also find alligators in the on-site toilets, end up with snake-bitten guard dogs (those cottonmouths again), and manage to arrest the wrong person for all of it.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: He fell asleep on a crankcase while the engine was running.

Under the influence.

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: Garrett

Garrett turns out to be pretty awesome. Beatrice plays soccer. She is sometimes called "Beatrice the Bear" because she is somewhat aggressive and scary. Leon is her father. I made Frank up.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: Crisco

He wears socks full of Crisco on his hands.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Stormy Weather

While I've loved all of Hiiasen's works, this is probably my favorite.

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: Beatrice Leep

Dana is the jerk from the bus. Mr. Ryan is Roy's cool teacher who lets the whole class go out to the Mother Paula's Pancake House opening. Ms. Hennepin is the creepy vice-principal.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: Champ Powell

He did it to impress Judge Battenkill.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Lucky You

A bad guy with something weird and smelly stuck to his hand - a Hiaasen specialty!

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: Prison

Mrs. Waters, Nick's Mom, is a jailer, and she remembers Mr. Scrod from years ago: In chapter two, Nick and his Mom discuss the day's excitement: "'How was your day?' his mother asked. 'Some kid ate Mrs. Starch's pencil. You wouldn't believe it,' Nick said. 'Gobbled it right out of her hand.' 'Any particular reason?' 'He was mad, I guess. She made fun of a big ol' gnarly zit on his neck.' Nick's mother set her purse heavily on the kitchen counter. 'Tell me again why we're spending all this money on a private school.' 'Wasn't my idea,' Nick reminded her. 'Smaller classes?' 'That was one reason.' 'And better teachers, you said.' 'So we'd been told.' 'And the low Freak Factor,' Nick added. 'Right.' His mother frowned. 'And now you're telling me there's a boy in biology who thinks he's a termite.' 'More like a beaver,' Nick said. 'But Mrs. Starch shouldn't have made fun of him. He's not a kid you want to mess with.' Nick's mother took a bottle of V8 juice from the refrigerator and emptied it into a small glass. 'What's the pencil-eater's name?' she asked. 'Duane Scrod. You don't know him.' 'Spelled S-C-R-O-D?' Nick said, 'Yeah, that's right.' 'Then that's Duane Scrod Jr. I know his father, Duane Sr.' 'From the jail?' Nick's mom nodded. 'He did six months for burning down a Chevy Dealership in Port Charlotte, all because his Tahoe blew a transmission on Alligator Alley."'

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: His sister

She's his step-sister actually, but they love each other the same anyway, so why does it matter? He runs away because his mom wants to send him to military school. She doesn't want him really. Leon, his step-dad, tried to bond with him once, but that didn't last very long.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: Because she doesn't want to divorce Tom.

There are no divorces in her family.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Sick Puppy

The long-awaited return of Skink!

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: Headmaster of Truman School

In chapter two, the author describes him as follows: "The headmaster, Dr. Dressier, was neat and cautious and mild-spoken. He was happiest when the Truman School ran smoothly and harmony was in the air. He was unhappiest when the students and faculty were buzzing and distracted."

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: Chuck Muckle

Come on! Mother Paula? She's awesome! Ms. Hennepin is creepy, yes, but calling her the ultimate villain is somewhat extreme. Dana is a minor sort of villain. Chuck Muckle is the VP of the Mother Paula Pancake House company. He doesn't care about the owls. HE just wants to get more money and pancake houses. In the end, he tries to attack the barefoot boy, Roy and Beatrice. Officer Delinko stops him and he ends up getting arrested.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: Lucks

Why did Bode and Chub only decide to steal the ticket once they themselves won?

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Basket Case

I'm lucky enough to have an autographed copy of this gem!

From Quiz 'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen

Answer: Bird

Her name is Nadine, and she's multi-lingual. She is introduced to us in chapter two, when Dr. Dressier goes to the Scrod household: "The headmaster straightened his necktie and rang the bell... Eventually a lean, unshaven man appeared at the screen door. He wore hunting garb, a red trucker's cap. And no shoes. 'You from the guv'ment?' the man pointed aggressively at Dr. Dressier with a rusty pair of pliers. 'If you're here about the taxes, don't be surprised if I pull off your lips and feed 'em to my bird. I got a macaw speaks three languages.' Dr. Dressier resisted the urge to run away. 'I'm f-from the Truman School,' he stammered. 'Are you Duane's father?' 'I am,' the man said. 'How 'bout some ID?' Nervously, Dr. Dressier drew a business card from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. Duane Scrod Sr. snatched the card and disappeared for several minutes. When he returned, a large bird with brilliant blue-and-gold plumage was perched on his left shoulder."

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: The barefoot boy

Beatrice and Roy take him to the hospital where they check him in under Roy's name. Illegal, but effective. He needed a doctor and they couldn't use his real name because he was hiding from his mom.

From Quiz Lucky You

Answer: A sting ray

That's why you do the stingray shuffle.

From Quiz Carl Hiaasen For President!

Answer: Jim Tile

Skink and Tile are probably among Hiaasen's most beloved characters - we could all use a friend like this!

From Quiz What a Hoot!

Answer: They were working on a science project

The real reason Beatrice wanted the beef was for the baby owls. She brought Roy with her to see her brother because he knew some basic first aid and her brother had been bit by a dog.

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