'Scat' by Carl Hiaasen Trivia Quiz

Answer: Biology

Bunny Starch was about six feet tall and "wore her blond hair piled to one side of her head, like a beach dune. Mrs. Starch's school wardrobe never varied: a polyester pant suit in one of four faded pastel colors, and drab brown flats. She painted heavy violet makeup on her eyelids, yet she made no effort to conceal an odd crimson mark on her chin. The mark was the shape of an anvil and the subject of wild speculation, but nobody had gotten up the nerve to ask Mrs. Starch about it."

Answer: He only pretends to know the answers to questions

In the first week, Mrs. Starch did call on Graham when his hand was up. Unfortunately, he only acted as if he knew the answer-which is why the teacher hasn't acknowledged him since.

In chapter one of the story, Mrs. Starch greets the class "in a tone so mild it was chilling" and then asks a question:
"'Who's prepared to tell me about the Calvin Cycle?' Only one hand rose. It belonged to Graham, who always claimed to know the answers but never did."

Answer: Libby

Libby Marshall is asthmatic and has a father in law enforcement.

Marta Gonzalez has brown eyes, is afraid of Mrs. Starch, sits behind Libby in class, and is good friends with Nick.

Nick Waters, for his part, secretly hopes to see a live panther some day. His father is "a captain in the National Guard" and his mother works at the prison.

And Duane's full name is Duane Scrod Junior. "Nick had known him since elementary school, when he was two years ahead of Nick and known as Duane the Dweeb. One summer, Duane the Dweeb grew five inches and gained thirty-one pounds, and from then on everybody called him Smoke because that's what he wanted to be called. Some kids said it was because he was a pyro."

Answer: "I read so much"

The words are spoken by Duane after Mrs. Starch calls on him:
"'So, Duane,' Mrs. Starch said sweetly. 'Have you finished chapter 8?' Rumpled and sleepy-looking, Smoke grunted and raised his eyes toward the teacher. Nick couldn't see his expression but the slump of his shoulders suggested a profound lack of interest. 'I guess I read it, yeah... I read so much."'

Answer: True

All 500 words filled with a mix of facts and humor: "Looming over him, Mrs. Starch said, 'A teacher's job is to identify and cultivate each student's strengths, and then encourage him or her to utilize those strengths in the pursuit of knowledge.' There wasn't a trace of anger in her voice, which Nick found creepy. 'So, Duane,' she continued, 'what I'd like you to do-since you're obviously fascinated by the subject-is to write a five-hundred-word essay on pimples... You should start with some basic human biology-what causes glandular skin eruptions in adolescents? There's plenty of information on the Internet, Duane, so I'll expect at least three source citations.

The second part of the paper should summarize the history of acne, both medically and in popular culture. And then the last section could deal with your own personal pimple, the one with which you seem so enchanted.' Smoke stared darkly at Mrs. Starch. 'And here's the best part, Duane,' she said. 'I want the essay to be funny, because you're a funny fellow. An extremely funny fellow.' 'Not me.' 'Oh, don't be modest. You had everybody in stitches just a moment ago.' Mrs. Starch turned her back on Smoke and bobbed the pencil gaily in the air. 'Come on, people, what do you say? Wouldn't it be amusing for Duane to write a humorous essay on pimples and then read it aloud to the whole class?' Nobody was giggling anymore, and even Graham had yanked down his hand. Smoke was not a popular kid, but it was impossible not to feel sorry for him. Mrs. Starch was being especially brutal, even for Mrs. Starch. Marta looked queasy, and Nick was beginning to feel the same way. Smoke was a loner and definitely freaky, but he never hassled anybody as long as he was given plenty of space."

Answer: Prison

Mrs. Waters, Nick's Mom, is a jailer, and she remembers Mr. Scrod from years ago:

In chapter two, Nick and his Mom discuss the day's excitement:

"'How was your day?' his mother asked. 'Some kid ate Mrs. Starch's pencil. You wouldn't believe it,' Nick said. 'Gobbled it right out of her hand.' 'Any particular reason?' 'He was mad, I guess. She made fun of a big ol' gnarly zit on his neck.' Nick's mother set her purse heavily on the kitchen counter. 'Tell me again why we're spending all this money on a private school.' 'Wasn't my idea,' Nick reminded her. 'Smaller classes?' 'That was one reason.' 'And better teachers, you said.' 'So we'd been told.' 'And the low Freak Factor,' Nick added. 'Right.' His mother frowned. 'And now you're telling me there's a boy in biology who thinks he's a termite.' 'More like a beaver,' Nick said. 'But Mrs. Starch shouldn't have made fun of him. He's not a kid you want to mess with.' Nick's mother took a bottle of V8 juice from the refrigerator and emptied it into a small glass. 'What's the pencil-eater's name?' she asked. 'Duane Scrod. You don't know him.' 'Spelled S-C-R-O-D?' Nick said, 'Yeah, that's right.' 'Then that's Duane Scrod Jr. I know his father, Duane Sr.' 'From the jail?' Nick's mom nodded. 'He did six months for burning down a Chevy Dealership in Port Charlotte, all because his Tahoe blew a transmission on Alligator Alley."'

Answer: Headmaster of Truman School

In chapter two, the author describes him as follows:

"The headmaster, Dr. Dressier, was neat and cautious and mild-spoken. He was happiest when the Truman School ran smoothly and harmony was in the air. He was unhappiest when the students and faculty were buzzing and distracted."

Answer: Bird

Her name is Nadine, and she's multi-lingual. She is introduced to us in chapter two, when Dr. Dressier goes to the Scrod household:

"The headmaster straightened his necktie and rang the bell... Eventually a lean, unshaven man appeared at the screen door. He wore hunting garb, a red trucker's cap. And no shoes. 'You from the guv'ment?' the man pointed aggressively at Dr. Dressier with a rusty pair of pliers. 'If you're here about the taxes, don't be surprised if I pull off your lips and feed 'em to my bird. I got a macaw speaks three languages.' Dr. Dressier resisted the urge to run away. 'I'm f-from the Truman School,' he stammered. 'Are you Duane's father?' 'I am,' the man said. 'How 'bout some ID?' Nervously, Dr. Dressier drew a business card from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. Duane Scrod Sr. snatched the card and disappeared for several minutes. When he returned, a large bird with brilliant blue-and-gold plumage was perched on his left shoulder."

Answer: "Take us down to two hundred feet"

The speaker is named Drake McBride, who isn't introduced until a later chapter.

Mrs. Starch instructs her class before they and other students board the bus for a field trip:

"She wore wading boots, stiff canvas pants, a baggy long-sleeved shirt, and a frayed straw hat under an upturnecd veil of mosquito netting. Mrs. Starch always prepared for the worst. 'Slather up, people!' she barked. 'Sunblock, bug juice, lip balm-it's a jungle out there!' Nick and Marta got in line for the bus. 'Maybe she'll get bit by a scorpion,' Marta muttered. 'That would be awful,' Nick whispered, 'for the scorpion.' Mrs. Starch whistled sharply. 'Did everybody in my classes remember to bring their journals?' She held a black writing notebook above her head. 'Keep a list of everything you see-insects, mammals, birds, trees. This will count as a lab grade.' Graham, who was dressed as a pint-sized version of the Crocodile Hunter, raised his hand. Mrs. Starch ignored him, as always. 'We have three portable first-aid kits,' she went on,'and each teacher will be carrying one. If you get into a situation where you need help, speak up right away. Remember: Stay with your hiking teams, do not wander off, and, most importantly, be respectfull toward this very special place that we're exploring. Turn off your cell phones-if I or any of the other teachers hear one ringing, it will be confiscated' Mrs. Starch put down the black notebook and picked up a device Nick recognized as a portable boat horn... 'This will be our emergency signal,' said Mrs. Starch. Demonstrating the boat horn with a short, earsplitting beep. 'If you hear that sound, immediately line up behind your teacher and head straight back to the bus. Any questions?' Graham hopped up and down, waving one arm. Mrs. Starch stared past him. 'All right, people,' she said, clapping. 'Let's enjoy our day in the Black Vine Swamp!'

Answer: Mr. Neal

There are only three teachers on the trip; Mr. Hamstring is a name I made up.

Nick's friend Marta is also chosen to go with Mr. Neal's group:

"The kids milled around anxiously while the names were called out. Nobody wanted to be on Mrs. Starch's team, because they knew Mrs. Starch would make them work harder than the other teachers. The whole point of going on a field trip was to goof off... Mr. Neal's specialty was botany, and every so often he'd pause to point out a plant or a shrub of local interest. Mindful of Mrs. Starch's instructions, Nick and Marta would automatically pull their journals from their backpacks and take notes. By the time they stopped for the first rest break, their species list included pond apple trees, strangler figs, laurel oaks, wax myrtles, sabal palms, wild coffee, and resurrection ferns."