Urban Legends from Corporate America Quiz

Answer: A death certificate for her doll

Remember how popular those dolls were in the 1980s? Part of their charm was each doll came with its own birth certificate. So naturally, if the doll 'died'... A friend of mine swears he saw Johnny Carson display the actual death certificate on the 'Tonight Show', but you know how that goes.

Another rumor from the cabbage patch was that the US government studied the children of people who had been exposed to radiation. The children had huge heads, weblike hands, and flattened, odd-looking faces. Fearing nuclear war was inevitable, the government released the Cabbage Patch dolls so the first generation of mutant babies wouldn't seem so frightening.

Answer: Despite having over a thousand miles on the odometer, the fuel tank was still full

It seems the company accidentally sold their secret prototype that would drive forever on one tank of gas. The rumor ends with the car company paying an insane amount of money to get the vehicle back (sometimes the driver wakes to see a strange man messing around under his hood, and the car gets normal mileage afterwards).

We all like to believe that cars that run on water exist, but the oil companies are sitting on the patents. But car companies? Any manufacturer who could produce one of these would bury the competition. Why would they hide it?

This rumor may stem from a scam where a con man would ask an attendant to fill his tank with water. He'd then sell the rube a bottle of 'magic pills' that would let a car run on water.

Answer: She gets the recipe all right...and a bill for $300

In some versions the waiter quotes a price of 'two fifty,' then presents a bill for $250. The woman usually goes to a lawyer who informs her she is obliged to pay. She gets revenge by passing out copies of the recipe to everyone she knows. E-mailed and faxed versions of this rumor are usually accompanied by an actual cake recipe.

This story has also been told about Neiman Marcus cookies, Mrs. Fields cookies, and other high end chains and brands. Didn't happen, but a darn good yarn.

Answer: Procter and Gamble

According to the rumor, the president of Procter and Gamble went on 'The Phil Donahue Show' (or 'Merv Griffin', or '60 Minutes') and admitted his company donated 10% of their profits to the Church of Satan (or Rev. Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church).

Though you wouldn't think anything would come of such a ridiculous rumor (the same story was told about McDonalds in the late 1970s), this story really had wings. It was told from church pulpits, Xeroxed and re-Xeroxed, and of course, spread by word of mouth. People swore they saw the show, or at least had a friend who had.

Much was made of the P&G 'Man in the Moon' logo, which featured a moon with a face, and thirteen stars. While the company insisted the logo was hundreds of years old and the stars were merely a patriotic symbol, others saw darker images. The man was the devil. There were backwards sixes in his beard. You could connect the stars to make a 666.

Christian groups, especially in the American South, began to call for a boycott. According to some versions of the rumor, the president of P&G said that there weren't enough real Christians to make a difference in their profits. Those who believed the rumor felt they had to stop buying the products or they weren't 'real Christians.'

Procter and Gamble hit back hard, hiring detectives to find the rumor's source, enlisting the help of well-known Christian leaders such as Jerry Falwell, and even bringing lawsuits against people who spread the rumor.

This story died out by the 1990s, though you can still get the 'We're not Satanists!' letter if you write to their corporate offices in Cincinnati. In 1985, Procter and Gamble removed their famous logo from all products.

Answer: The Ku Klux Klan

It's hard to keep track of what parent company controls which subsidiaries, but come on! The Klan? The American white supremacist group has no central leadership; they're just a handful of splinter cells. It's hard to imagine how a bunch of toothless racists could secretly become major industry players, but some people believe this.

Besides, everyone knows the food industry is run by a hidden cabal of Jews (see my 'Urban Legends Diner' quiz for more on that legend).

Answer: Nike

While Nike does donate shoes to this worthwhile program, they will not give you anything in return. If you do send them your footwear, they will send you an apologetic letter asking if you'd like your shoes donated or returned. But you don't get free shoes. Why wouldn't they just donate the new shoes and eliminate the middle man?

Answer: Aluminum pull tabs

According to rumor, enormous chains of pull tabs can be traded in for time on a dialysis machine (or chemotherapy, or a seeing eye dog, or a wheelchair). Supposedly the pull tab is a high grade aluminum and worth a lot more than the can.

There is no truth to this rumor, though there have been heartbreaking cases of people collecting thousands of tabs for sick friends, only to find out the legend is false.

A gallon container of pull tabs will get you about 30 cents at the recycling center, nothing more.

Answer: Tim Hortons

Tim Hortons is a popular Canadian coffee chain. Sometimes the legends say they add MSG. This rumor has also been told about McDonalds.

Answer: Rolls-Royce

Stories are told about wealthy drivers whose Rolls 'failed to proceed' at some remote location. Rolls-Royce instantly sends out the mechanics who immediately fix the problem. When the driver later contacts the company for the bill, he is informed that the incident never happened. "Rolls-Royces don't break down."

Rolls-Royce is the ultimate snob car. Only the mega-rich can afford them, and we mere peasants like to fantasize. Apparently Rolls is so concerned about its reputation that they would spend thousands of dollars flying mechanics to a European backwater, rather than to have someone see one of their cars broken down at the side of the road.

Another Rolls legend is that the engines are sealed at the factory, or that having a non-Rolls mechanic work on the engine will void the warranty.

Answer: The Indian

According to legend, you can trade in the picture of the Indian shooting the star for a whole box of pops. Sadly, if you really do mail in a wrapper, all you'll get back is a letter explaining how 'Chief Shooting Star' has specially inspected that particular candy.

Thanks for playing. My info comes from www.snopes.com and the works of Jan Harold Brunvand.