Save Me! Save Me, Captain Obvious! Quiz

Answer: It looks like he shot himself with a shotgun.

Ernest Hemingway (the victim) may have been genetically prone to suicide, and probably had haemochromatosis. Haemochromatosis prevented the body from metabolizing iron and resulted in mental and physical deterioration.

Answer: I'm guessing they belong to the Allies.

Major Pluskat was commander of the German 352nd Artillery at Omaha Beach on D-Day. He ordered his troops to fire everything they had at the Allies until they ran out of ammunition. His phone call to German Headquarters was immortalized in the 1962 film "The Longest Day".

Answer: We're experiencing an earthquake!

The great earthquake of 1906 was estimated to top 7.9 on the Richter scale. Government officials intentionally under-reported the casualties, stating that 375 people had died. The final death toll was estimated to be around 3,000.

Answer: Your building is on fire, we need to get out.

The great Chicago fire raged from 8-10 October 1871 and destroyed four square miles of the city. Hampered by exhaustion and strong winds, firefighters could not contain the blaze.

Answer: I'm pretty sure you're going to lose a lot of Virginians.

I stood by and watched in horror as three Confederate divisions were pounded by Union artillery and infantry. Pickett's Charge, as it later became known, decimated the Army of Virginia and they were never truly able to recover psychologically from the defeat.

Answer: Well, Lieutenant, then I guess this is a one-way mission.

The Doolittle Raid ("30 Seconds Over Tokyo") was the first attack on the Japanese mainland after their attack on Pearl Harbor. Although it did not do much damage to Tokyo's infrastructure, it proved to be a significant psychological boost to US service members. Out of the 80 airmen who went on this one-way mission, seven died (three were killed during the raid or during the ditching, three were executed by the Japanese, and one died of disease in captivity).

Answer: Colonel, I think we've captured someone important.

As part of Operation Red Dawn, elements of the US 4th Infantry Division (and other units) searched Objectives Wolverine I, II, and III for "High Value Target #1". After finding HVT #1 (aka Saddam Hussein), we transported him to a safe location for medical checks and questioning.

Answer: He zigged when he should have zagged.

I watched in horror as Sonny Bono crashed into a tree, leaving behind a wife, three ex-wives, three daughters, and a son (or two daughters and two sons, since Chastity is now called Chaz). After realizing there wasn't much more I could do there, I slalomed my way down the hill to find my time machine.

Answer: Elmer, I think it's duck season.

Just then, Bugs Bunny came popping out of his hole with Daffy wrapped in duct (or duck) tape. I heard some arguing back and forth sounding like "rabbit season" "duck season" but didn't bother hanging around to hear the results. Right before my time machine left, Elmer's shotgun went off.

Answer: Well, I bet that'll create quite a mess.

On April 20, 2010, the Deepwater Horizon semi-submersible offshore drilling rig exploded, killing 11 crewmembers. As a result of the explosion, and subsequent sinking of the rig, a massive, high-pressure, flow line began spewing massive amounts of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico. It surpassed the Exxon Valdez incident as the largest offshore oil spill in US history.