Censorship in Film Versions of Musicals Quiz

Answer: Silk Stockings

The Cole Porter lyric of "Satin and Silk" contained the line "She could flatten Lord Mountbatten." The Hollywood censors deemed this unacceptable, and the line became "She could flatten any Latin."

Answer: Brigadoon

The song "The Love of My Life," in which Meg Brockie details her failed relationships with various men, was deemed too spicy for the film version (at one point, the Alan Jay Lerner lyric used the euphemism 'sword' to denote a part of the male anatomy) and the entire song was deleted from the film version.

Answer: The Pajama Game

In the song "Small Talk" in "The Pajama Game," Richard Adler and Jerry Ross lyrics bemoan that the dollar "Ain't Worth a Damn Now." In the film version, this was softened to "Ain't Worth a Hoot Now."

Answer: Annie Get Your Gun

"Annie Get Your Gun" on stage contained a the following phrase "Sister Lou ain't got a sou/Although she goes out shopping/She gets all her stockings free/Doin' What Comes Naturally!" in the song "Doin' What Comes Naturally", with lyrics by Irving Berlin.

The Hollywood censors would never allow a film to promote crime (even shoplifting!) so the entire phrase was removed.

Incidentally, the song "Doin' What Comes Naturally" used a set of lyrics that had been initially censored for the radio in the film version.

Answer: Kiss Me, Kate

Cole Porter's lyric in "Too Darn Hot" in "Kiss Me, Kate" included the line "According to the Kinsey Reports." A reference to then controversial report on sexual behavior was thought to be inappropriate and the line was slightly modified to "According to the latest reports." Those picky censors!

Answer: On the Town

Betty Comden and Adolph Green referred to New York as a "helluva" town in the stage musical "On the Town" in the song "New York, New York." When filmed, the censors objected to that phrase and it was modified to "wonderful town," which incidentally became the title of Comden and Green's next stage musical set in New York.

Answer: Show Boat

When "Show Boat" opened on Broadway in 1927, the opening line as written by Oscar Hammerstein II (in the song "Cotton Blossom") was "N-----s work on the Mississippi."

Although this was meant to emphasize the status of Afro-Americans in the south in the 19th Century, it was determined to be too objectionable for Hollywood. In the 1936 version, the word 'Darkies' was substituted, which of course would be objected to by many today.

Answer: West Side Story

Stephen Sondheim's lyric for the stage version of "West Side Story" contained the word schmuck in the song "Gee, Officer Krupke!" The word 'slob' was substituted in the film version. Just to confuse things, the original cast recording of the stage show substituted 'jerk' for schmuck.

Answer: Roberta

The stage musical "Roberta" had a song "I'll Be Hard to Handle" (lyrics by Bernard Dougall) about a newly married wife who promised to philander:

Now we'll say till something do us part
That old dad of mine ain't got a heart
Any girl who's out for pleasure
Thinks of marriage only at her leisure
As it is, they've got the horse behind the cart

When my pop said we must wed,
He kind of wowed me, still I'm read-y
But one thing must be clear
At this time

I'll be hard to handle
I promise you that
And if you complain
Here's one little Jane
Who'll leave you flat

I'll be hard to handle
What else can I be
I say with a shrug
I think you're a mug
To marry me

When you first threw me a gander
I was willing to philander
But I never thought I'd have to be a bride
Now you're gonna find tough sledding
I don't want no shotgun wedding
I was only along for the ride

I'll be hard to handle
I'm telling you plain
Just be a dear
and scram out of here
I'm gonna raise cain

I'll be hard to handle
My bridges are burned
This wedding's a gag
And you're in the bag
Where I'm concerned

I'll be hard to handle
When we've said, "I do"
See there's no hope
I just got a dope
When I took you

I'll be living my life in bed
But they always will be twin beds
And I warn you, you'll be living like a monk
Our affair is now a past one
So don't think you've pulled a fast one
Just remember, I think you're a punk!

I'll be hard to handle
I'm no ball and chain
I'll find some means
To call the Marines
I'm gonna raise cain

Gonna raise cain
I'm telling you plain
I'm gonna raise cain

For the film version, the lyrics were almost completely rewritten to tell the story of a high-spirited young lady (presumably by Dorothy Fields, who wrote the lyrics for the new songs in the film):

I'll be hard to handle.
I promise you that.
And if you complain
Here's one little Jane that will leave you flat.

I'll be hard to handle.
What else can I be?
Just ask my Dad the trouble he had controlling me.

I have faults. To be specific,
In a temper, oooh, I'm terrific.
I throw chairs and tables and I never miss.

Ohhh... I'm as cold as in a shell fish.
I tell lies. I'm mean. I'm selfish.
Think it over. My warning is this:

I'll be hard to handle.
I'm making it plain.
Now just be a dear
And scram out of here, 'cause I'm going to raise Cain.

(unintelligible Polish babbling)

I'm as cold as in a shell fish.
I tell lies. I'm mean. I'm selfish.
Think it over. My warning is...
If you want to be sweet, huh!

I'll be hard to handle.
I'm making it plain.
Now just be a dear
And scram out of here, ve dee. ve dee. ve dee. ve dee.


As already noted, the phrase "gonna raise Cain" was one of the few things retained.

Answer: Camelot

In the song "The Simple Joys of Maidenhood," in the film version of the stage show "Camelot," Vanessa Redgrave refused to sing the Alan Jay Lerner line "Cause a Little War." The lyric was altered to "launch a thousand ships."


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