If I Had a Million Dollars Trivia Quiz

Answer: A house

In 2007 the national median average house in US metropolitan areas was worth $217,800 according to the National Realtor Association. Since Barenaked Ladies is a Canadian band, they may have been talking about buying a house in Canada. According to the Canadian Real Estate Association the average metropolitan house price in Canada as of February 2008 was $313,065.

Answer: Furniture

They specifically mentioned a Chesterfield or an ottoman. Modabode advertises a nice Chesterfield leather sofa for $1,880. Just the kind of thing a millionaire would own, I imagine.

Answer: K-car

K-cars were produced by Chrysler starting in 1981. They were compact-sized vehicles with front wheel drive and seating up to 6 adults. They were known as inexpensive economy cars with the same seating capacity as midsized cars. K-cars included the Dodge Aries, Dodge 400, some Chrysler LeBarons and the Plymouth Reliant.

In a talk-back part of the song, Robertson says "A nice Reliant automobile." Plymouth Reliants list for around $850 on carsforsale.com.

Answer: Refrigerator

It would have to be a tiny refrigerator. Target has a mini fridge for $50. The singers want pre-wrapped sausages and things like that in their tree fort refrigerator. Did I mention the band is from Canada, eh?

Answer: Fur coat

"But not a real fur coat because that's cruel." QVC, the home shopping network, advertises a faux fur coat for only $139.

Answer: Exotic pet

They specifically mentioned a llama or an emu. Agriseek.com has several listings from private llama sellers. Prices generally range from $200-$400.

Answer: John Merrick's remains

"The Elephant Man's" real name was Joseph Merrick. He was erroneously called John Merrick in the 1980 movie "The Elephant Man." Merrick had a disease, variously thought to be elephantisis, neurofibromatosis and Proteus syndrome, which caused him to be deformed.

His skeleton had been on display at Royal London Hospital. It was reported in the 1980's that Michael Jackson wanted to purchase his remains. He later denied that saying "Why would I want some bones?" Why, indeed, Mr. Jackson. That would be an odd thing to do. Since his remains have never to my knowledge been sold, I cannot come up with a dollar amount for their worth. I do not know if they could be bought if one had a million dollars.

Answer: Green dress

"But not a real green dress because that's cruel." Perusal of the JC Penney catalog reveals a green "Summer Leaves" dress by Jones Wear for $70.

Answer: Picasso or a Garfunkel

You cannot buy a Picasso with only a million dollars. "Boy with Pipe" sold at auction for $104.1 million. Other works sold at Sotheby's Auction include "Rescue" for $14.7 million, "Seated Nude" for $11.7 million and "Still Life with Coffeepot" for $2.5 million.

The closest you could get would be "The Painter in a Hat" for $1.1 million. With only $1,000,000 you would have to set your sights on booking Art Garfunkel, of Simon and Garfunkel, to play a gig for you. I do not have information on what he charges, but I'm pretty sure its less than $1,000,000.

Answer: Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

Capuchin monkeys, like the kind Ross Gellar had on "Friends," cost between $5,200-$8,000. Marmosets are cheaper at around $4,000. Little tamarin monkeys go for about $2,600.
Altogether a house, leather Chesterfield sofa, used Plymouth Reliant, mini-fridge, faux fur coat, llama, green dress and capuchin monkey would cost $226,289 in the US (slightly higher in Canada) plus whatever Art Garfunkel charges--easily within the range of someone who had a million dollars.
Each verse ends with "I'd buy your love." You can't buy love, though.