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Test yourself! Take this Comical Quotes Quiz | Quotes

This is a collection of humorous quotes, not to mention a little biting sarcasm on the side. Please have a bit of fun.

A multiple-choice quiz by exit10. Estimated time: 7 mins.

Author
exit10

Time
7 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
60,218

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Very Difficult

Avg Score
4 / 10

Plays
869

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. Who replied to the question, 'Who wears the pants in this house?' with, 'I do, and I also wash and iron them.'?

Answer: (One or two words - a former politician's spouse)

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Question 2 of 10

2. One of Jerome K. Jerome's most famous quotes was: 'I like _________. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me; the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.' Please fill in the blank.

Answer: (One Word)

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Question 3 of 10

3. Complete this quote from Noel Coward: 'Just say your lines and don't trip over the _________.' Hint

furniture

dog

rug

stool

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Question 4 of 10

4. To Dorothy Parker, the two most beautiful words in the English language were:

Answer: (Two Words about sending money)

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Question 5 of 10

5. Who wrote: 'I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.'? Hint

George Burns

Bob Hope

Bill Bryson

Alan Alda

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Question 6 of 10

6. 'I never accept lengthy film roles nowadays, because I am always so afraid I will die in the middle of shooting and cause such awful problems.' Who said this? Hint

Laurence Olivier

John Mills

George Burns

John Gielgud

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Question 7 of 10

7. Linda Evangelista was once quoted as saying: 'I spend all my free time coloring my hair.'

True

False

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Question 8 of 10

8. Danny Kaye starred in which film that contained the following quote: 'I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, and the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true. Right?'?

Answer: (Three Words)

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Question 9 of 10

9. 'A real patriot is the fellow who gets a ___________ and rejoices that the system works.' Hint

speeding violation

parking ticket

food stamp

tax audit

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Question 10 of 10

10. 'So you're going to _________? Well I made 20,000 pounds on my tour there, but of course that will never be done again. Still it's a wonderful country and you'll have a good time. What are you going to sing? All I can say is sing 'em muck! It's all they can understand!'

Answer: (One Word - a country)

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. Who replied to the question, 'Who wears the pants in this house?' with, 'I do, and I also wash and iron them.'?

Answer: Denis Thatcher

Denis Thatcher was former English Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's husband.

Answer: work

Quoted from the book 'Three Men in a Boat' (1889). A classic of its time and still very popular today.

3. Complete this quote from Noel Coward: 'Just say your lines and don't trip over the _________.'

Answer: furniture

This was Coward's (1899-1973) famous advice for actors in a speech at the Gallery First-Nighters Club (1962).

4. To Dorothy Parker, the two most beautiful words in the English language were:

Answer: Check enclosed

Born Dorothy Rothschild (1893-1967) she had a razor sharp wit which could always be relied upon at a moments notice. One of her most famous quotes when asked to put the word 'horticulture' into a sentence was 'You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.'

5. Who wrote: 'I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.'?

Answer: Bill Bryson

These are the opening words from 'The Lost Continent' a book written about Bill's travels throughout America.

6. 'I never accept lengthy film roles nowadays, because I am always so afraid I will die in the middle of shooting and cause such awful problems.' Who said this?

Answer: John Gielgud

Independent March 26, 1994. He went on to live until 21 May 2000. He was knighted in 1953. His first movie role was as Daniel in 'Who is the Man?' (1924) and his last as Pope Paul IV. in 'Elizabeth' (1998). He began his career on stage in 1921 and retired from stage in 1988. He also had his first nude scene in a movie at the age of 87 in 'Prospero's Books' (1991).

7. Linda Evangelista was once quoted as saying: 'I spend all my free time coloring my hair.'

Answer: True

Linda, a Canadian born super-model was quoted in the magazine Model: The Ugly Business of Beautiful Women (1990).

Answer: The Court Jester

Hawkins: 'I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?'
Griselda: 'Right. But there's been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace!'
Hawkins: 'They *broke* the chalice from the palace?'
Griselda: 'And replaced it with a flagon.'
Hawkins: 'A flagon...?'
Griselda: 'With the figure of a dragon.'
Hawkins: 'Flagon with a dragon.'
Griselda: 'Right.'
Hawkins: 'But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?'
Griselda: 'No! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!'
Hawkins: 'The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.'
Griselda: 'Just remember that.'

9. 'A real patriot is the fellow who gets a ___________ and rejoices that the system works.'

Answer: parking ticket

From Bill Vaughan (1915-1977) a journalist with the Kansas City Star.

Answer: Australia

Quoted by Dame Nellie Melba (formerly known as Helen Porter Mitchell 1861-1931). She had so many 'farewell tours' it's not surprising she made so much money. The dessert 'Peach Melba' was also named in her honour.

Source: Author exit10

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