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Married Humour! Trivia Quiz

Quotable quotes on marriage - just for a laugh! Select the correct answer from the multiple choices given or fill in the blank and perhaps get a giggle out of this quiz!

A multiple-choice quiz by Engadine. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Engadine

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
113,221

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
15

Difficulty
Tough

Avg Score
9 / 15

Plays
1753

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 15

1. Who said, "The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him"? Hint

Marie Osmond

Madonna

Cher

Marilyn Monroe

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Question 2 of 15

2. According to Agatha Christie, what was the best career for any woman's husband to have? Hint

Adventurer

Proctologist

Archaeologist

Psychologist

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Question 3 of 15

3. Ann Landers said, "At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't, the trouble is, they are usually ____ . " Hint

too drunk to do anything

married to each other

the host and hostess

uninvited guests

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Question 4 of 15

4. Socrates said, "My advice to you is get married; if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a ____ . " Hint

Philanderer

Physician

Politician

Philosopher

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Question 5 of 15

5. What did Erma Bombeck say you should go live with, when she said, "Marriage has no guarantees; if that's what you're looking for, go live with a _____ . " Hint

television set

car battery

radiator

microwave oven

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Question 6 of 15

6. Ogden Nash said, "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup; whenever you're wrong admit it, whenever you're right ____ . " Hint

throw up

give up

shut up

split up

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Question 7 of 15

7. Who is quoted as having said, "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other; perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."? Hint

Bob Hope

Audrey Hepburn

Katharine Hepburn

George Burns

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Question 8 of 15

8. Of what was Samuel Johnson speaking when he said it was the triumph of hope over experience? Hint

Marriage

A second marriage

An engagement

Divorce

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Question 9 of 15

9. Who said, "They say love is blind and marriage is an institution; well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet"? Hint

Mae West

Madonna

Marlene Dietrich

Margaret Mead

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Question 10 of 15

10. Comedienne Rita Rudner summed up marriage when she said, "I think men who have a _____ ear are better prepared for marriage; they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Answer: (One Word - starts with P, seven letters)

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Question 11 of 15

11. Between whom did Honore de Balzac say a good marriage would be? Hint

A blind wife and a deaf husband

A comedian and a comedienne

A blind couple

An intelligent wife and a stupid husband

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Question 12 of 15

12. Who said, "Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."? Hint

Elizabeth Taylor

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Joan Rivers

Phyllis Diller

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Question 13 of 15

13. Which comedian said, "Marriage is a wonderful invention, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."? Hint

Billy Connelly

Robin Williams

Billy Crystal

Jay Leno

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Question 14 of 15

14. Of what did Benjamin Disraeli say being amiable every day to the same human being would destroy? Hint

One's nerves

One's sanity

One's life

One's hope

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Question 15 of 15

15. Who is quoted as having said, "Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows; marriage does?" Hint

Jerry Lewis

Groucho Marx

Bud Abbott

Lou Costello

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

1. Who said, "The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him"?

Answer: Cher

Well, Cher should know, she's had a little bit of experience in the marriage stakes.

2. According to Agatha Christie, what was the best career for any woman's husband to have?

Answer: Archaeologist

"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." And, while we're on the subject, "Archaeologist - someone whose career lies in ruins."

3. Ann Landers said, "At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't, the trouble is, they are usually ____ . "

Answer: married to each other

Ann Landers also said, "Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength; however, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go - and then do it."

4. Socrates said, "My advice to you is get married; if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a ____ . "

Answer: Philosopher

Another ancient philosopher, Euripides, said, "Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife."

5. What did Erma Bombeck say you should go live with, when she said, "Marriage has no guarantees; if that's what you're looking for, go live with a _____ . "

Answer: car battery

Erma Bombeck also said, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me."

6. Ogden Nash said, "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup; whenever you're wrong admit it, whenever you're right ____ . "

Answer: shut up

Ogden Nash also said, "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets."

7. Who is quoted as having said, "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other; perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."?

Answer: Katharine Hepburn

Katharine Hepburn is also quoted as saying, "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."

8. Of what was Samuel Johnson speaking when he said it was the triumph of hope over experience?

Answer: A second marriage

Often incorrectly attributed to Wilde it was in fact Johnson who made the comment in 1791. Oscar Wilde also said, "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." And, "Niagara Falls is the bride's second great disappointment."

9. Who said, "They say love is blind and marriage is an institution; well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet"?

Answer: Mae West

Mae West was also quoted as saying, "Too much of a good thing is wonderful." And, "He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of."

10. Comedienne Rita Rudner summed up marriage when she said, "I think men who have a _____ ear are better prepared for marriage; they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Answer: pierced

Rita also said, "I love being married; it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." And, "When I meet a man I ask myself; is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

11. Between whom did Honore de Balzac say a good marriage would be?

Answer: A blind wife and a deaf husband

Honore de Balzac said, "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." He also was quoted as saying, "The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin."

12. Who said, "Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do."?

Answer: Zsa Zsa Gabor

Zsa Zsa is also quoted as saying, "A man in love is incomplete until he has married; then he is finished." And, "I know nothing about sex because I was always married."

13. Which comedian said, "Marriage is a wonderful invention, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."?

Answer: Billy Connelly

14. Of what did Benjamin Disraeli say being amiable every day to the same human being would destroy?

Answer: One's nerves

Disraeli said, "It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being." And, "No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married."

15. Who is quoted as having said, "Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows; marriage does?"

Answer: Groucho Marx

Marx also said, "I was married by a judge; I should have asked for a jury."

Source: Author Engadine

This quiz was reviewed by FunTrivia editor Lanni before going online.
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