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Ouch! Quotations With Teeth Trivia Quiz

Mordant (from the Latin 'mordere', 'to bite') humor inspires a variety of responses: we laugh in spite of ourselves or wince at the ferocity. Here are examples from masters of the form. Watch your fingers!

A multiple-choice quiz by Jdeanflpa. Estimated time: 5 mins.

Author
Jdeanflpa

Time
5 mins

Type
Multiple Choice

Quiz #
392,553

Updated
Dec 03 21

# Qns
10

Difficulty
Average

Avg Score
7 / 10

Plays
344

Awards
Top 20% Quiz

One at a Time - Single Page - Timed Game

Question 1 of 10

1. Dorothy Parker's legendarily acidic wit found ample expression in her "Constant Reader" column in the "New Yorker" magazine. How did she famously review the whimsical and baby talk laden "House on Pooh Corner"? Hint

"Icky-wicky."

"The inevitable brook isn't the only babbling here."

"Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

"This ruins the reputation of saccharin."

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Question 2 of 10

2. What denizen of the Okeefenokee Swamp benefited from Walt Kelly's witty wisdom when he observed: "We have met the enemy, and he is us."? Hint

Albert Alligator

Pogo Possum

Porky Pine

Holland Owl

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Question 3 of 10

3. While the feud was factual, the exchange may be apocryphal. Lady Nancy Astor reportedly snarled at Winston Churchill, "Winston, if you were my husband, I should poison your coffee!". What was Churchill's famed alleged response? Hint

"Nancy, you would only kill the maid, I drink tea of a morning."

"More spendthrift rubbish from Labour, coffee's too dear to waste."

"As you wish, Nancy, but keep away from my gin."

"Nancy, were you my wife, I should drink it!"

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Question 4 of 10

4. In a classic exchange of 'barbed wires', renowned Anglo-Irish wit George Bernard Shaw came off second best to Winston Churchill. Shaw invited Churchill to the 1914 London premiere of "Pygmalion" with a wire reading: "Reserved two tickets opening night. Come, and bring a friend,if you have one." How did Churchill respond? Hint

"I will not be used for you to escape controversy."

"When Pygmalions fly."

"Impossible to attend first night. Will come second night, if you have one."

"Come to coffee at Lady Astor's house first."

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Question 5 of 10

5. Who observed with her/his trademark sardonic wit that "A cynic is a man who knows the cost of everything, and the value of nothing."? Hint

George Carlin

Edith Wharton

George Bernard Shaw

Oscar Wilde

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Question 6 of 10

6. Biting wit is not limited to the arts and academia. What American "cowboy philosopher" had the following to say about learning? "There are three kinds of men, the one who learns from reading, the few who learn from observation, and the rest of them, who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

Hint

Washington Irving

Benjamin Franklin

Will Rogers

Mark Twain

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Question 7 of 10

7. People everywhere love to complain about politicians (if they can get away with it). What great American writer, from Florida, Missouri fired off the following tirade? "Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons."
Hint

John Steinbeck

Shelby Foote

William Faulkner

Mark Twain

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Question 8 of 10

8. Which European author, whose surname is the name of his country, observed with bleak irony:. "The law, in its majestic equality, forbids both rich and poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread." Hint

Diego Espanola

Anatole France

William England

Jan Polska

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Question 9 of 10

9. This might be a free one for United Kingdom political history buffs. Which U.K. statesman described the divide between tragedy and catastrophe, thusly: "If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a tragedy, if someone dragged him out again, that would be a catastrophe."? Hint

Benjamin Disraeli

John Russell

Arthur Balfour

George Canning

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Question 10 of 10

10. Sometimes wit warns that it bites. Which old stoic, cynical Greek advised "I am '____' the dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy, and bite scoundrels." Hint

Herodotus

Socrates

Diogenes of Sinope

Sophocles

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Quiz Answer Key and Fun Facts

Answer: "Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

While Parker's biting wit suited her fellow members of the Algonquin Roundtable of New York literati, her take no prisoners attitude sometimes annoyed the powerful sufficiently to engender reprisals. Parker lost at least one column following blowback from Hollywood moguls.

2. What denizen of the Okeefenokee Swamp benefited from Walt Kelly's witty wisdom when he observed: "We have met the enemy, and he is us."?

Answer: Pogo Possum

The line is of course a play on Oliver Perry's report of victory at Lake Erie in 1813: "We have met the enemy and they are ours...". Perry's words were memorable, but applicable only to the unique situation. The Kelly/Pogo aphorism approaches a universal truth. Who among us has never had the realization that our primary obstacle is ourselves?

Answer: "Nancy, were you my wife, I should drink it!"

The combat between Astor and Churchill continued for over a decade. While the famously sharp-tongued Churchill led the final tally, the redoubtable Lady Astor possesses as many victorious exchanges with Churchill as anyone. While no one has been able to find proof that the "coffee exchange" actually occurred, it is so perfectly reflective of the two personalities, that it will never go away.

Answer: "Impossible to attend first night. Will come second night, if you have one."

The relationship between Shaw and Churchill was quite cordial, if liberally seasoned by their mutual fondness for a sharp line. "Pygmalion" was controversial (Prime Minister Asquith received a protest letter from the Women's Purity League, among others), but both Churchill and Shaw delighted in such things.

The reference to Lady Astor's house refers to the famed "poisoned coffee" exchange. I'm afraid that I am solely responsible for 'when Pygmalions fly'.

5. Who observed with her/his trademark sardonic wit that "A cynic is a man who knows the cost of everything, and the value of nothing."?

Answer: Oscar Wilde

For all the pungency of his wit, and his personal trials, Wilde remained a stubborn Romantic, and was known to poke fun at his own rare forays into cynicism. Shaw and Carlin both equated cynicism with damaged idealism. The gentle Ms. Wharton asked "Why do we call our generous ideas illusions, and our mean ones truths?" It's an opinion similar to friend Oscar's, but without the acidity.

Answer: Will Rogers

Will Rogers was known to get to the heart of a matter with just a few words. The quotation is Rogers at his pithy best. While the other answers are all known wits, none other than Rogers lived to see rural uses of electricity. The electric fence was invented in New Zealand in 1937.

Answer: Mark Twain

Mark Twain (a.k.a. Samuel Langhorne Clemens) was known for most of his career for an amiable, homespun humor, with only the occasional barb. As he aged, however, Twain became pessimistic about much of humankind, and his humor grew darker, and sometimes savage. The quote here is classic later Twain.

Answer: Anatole France

Anatole France's work "The Red Lily" would likely be completely unknown today, except for the brilliantly trenchant phrasing of France's indictment of social inequality, which appears within it.

Answer: Benjamin Disraeli

While Disraeli was the undisputed champion in his war of words with William Ewart Gladstone, Gladstone had the last laugh, serving as Prime Minister nearly twice as long as Disraeli. The incorrect answers are all gentlemen who occupied 10 Downing Street in the middle and late 19th century.

10. Sometimes wit warns that it bites. Which old stoic, cynical Greek advised "I am '____' the dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy, and bite scoundrels."

Answer: Diogenes of Sinope

Diogenes of Sinope is, of course, the member of the Cynic/Stoic school most recognizable to modern audiences. In assuming the humility to describe himself as a dog, Diogenes liberates himself to show a canine response to humanity's foibles. One theory of the origin of the term "Cynic" cites this quotation (kyon is Greek for dog) and Diogenes disdain for convention, including sanitary ones, which led to him being called "kunikos" or dog-like. Beware of dog! (Unless you're nice!). Thanks to tjoebigham for reminding me of the dog-cynic connection in Greek.

Source: Author Jdeanflpa

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