You'll do nothing! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Elvis is Dead, and I Don't Feel So Good Myself

Erma Bombeck was not only the author of many humorous books about child-rearing and of her experiences in life, but she was also the author of a nationally syndicated newspaper column, "At Wit's End" in the 1970s. The bathroom advice was typical of her writings; evidence tells you something bad is happening to your bathroom but a child assures you that nothing is going on. "Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself" was written by Lewis Grizzard, another great humorist. All of the other answer choices were books written by Erma Bombeck.

Answer: I would have rolled the car windows up in summer so my hair looked better.

The actual quote was "I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed." At first, Erma had said she would change nothing about her life, but then reconsidered and talked about laughing and loving and letting dirt be.

The column with the essay was published in 1979. An internet chain-e-mail claims that she wrote the essay when she found out that she had cancer. This is not true. She was diagnosed with cancer in 1992, and her death was not from cancer, says snopes.com (my "go to" site to check on the veracity of email claims). Snopes did verify that the essay was Bombeck's.

Answer: By all accounts I should be hanging from a charm bracelet!

Erma pondered on the number of women on the Titanic who had waved off the dessert cart. I was inspired by this quote to enact my own human tragedy on a carrot cake. R.I.P. Cream Cheese Cake named Carrot. It was for you, Erma!

The diet quote was from "Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist."

Answer: At Wit's End

Erma Bombeck wrote for the "Dayton Journal Herald" as a reporter and a columnist. She wrote the column "Operation Dustrag" as well as the syndicated "At Wit's End." She did write for a school publication called "The Exponent" but that was the University publication for the "Roman Catholic University of Dayton," not the name of a column. I made up the Roses title. The information about Erma's columns came from the online site "Amazing Women Rock."

Answer: Amelia Earhart

The Shirley Temple interview in 1943 was Erma Bombeck's "first journalistic work" says the biography at "Amazing Women Rock," an online site. The Temple interview was done before Erma completed high school. Erma did interview both Roosevelt and Eisenhower. Amelia Earhart disappeared in 1937 and Erma Bombeck completed high school in 1944. Erma would have been very young to have caught Earhart for an interview before her last trip.

It's possible, but unlikely. Until the interview surfaces, we will say that Erma Bombeck did not interview Amelia Earhart.

Answer: True

According to the web site "Amazing Women Rock," Erma failed assignments, was rejected for work at the school paper, and left after one semester. But she tried again at a different university later, and with the encouragement of Fr. Tom Price, her English professor, was a success, earning a degree in English in 1949. Since she had been writing since Junior High for newspapers, her failure at "Ohio University at Athens" is puzzling to me.

Answer: for not being Paul Newman.

The quote is from the book "I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression" by Erma Bombeck. From all accounts, Erma was devoted to her husband of over 46 years. He was her business manager and the father to their children. " 'She had a crush on Bill from the minute she met him,' remembers childhood friend Helen Carlson," as told in "Remembering Erma" by peoplestaff225 at people.com.

Answer: Checkout Time is 18 years.

Erma had three children: Betsy (adopted), Andrew, and Matthew. She was told that due to an incurable kidney disease (polycystic kidney disease) for which she was diagnosed at age 20, she would probably not be able to conceive. After adopting Betsy in 1953, she and Bill Bombeck were able to also have a son, who was born in 1955, and later another son Matthew in 1958. So the Bombecks both knew about raising children, in practice.

The plaque quote was on a cross-stitch framed in my cousin's apartment; it is not mine or Erma's.

The other quotes were made up by me.

Answer: Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."

The answer was "Three Children" - not a coincidence that that is how many Erma and Bill Bombeck raised. It is obvious that Erma Bombeck knew children, but viewed them with humor. How did that feel like growing up with a columnist who spoke of the foibles of children? Dr. Nancy Berk of Parade.com interviewed Bill Bombeck, Erma's husband, as well as Betsy and Andy, two of her children.

In 2014, Berk asked the children for insight they had about their mother's fame and how it affected their growing up.

The children were kept separate from her fame, they said, but Dr. Berk concluded that they had "gotten their love of books and words, humor, and volunteer spirit from Erma and Bill Bombeck." Betsy said to Berk that their mother did push them to read her books. Berk said "Betsy told me that one year brother Andy's Christmas gift to their mother was a book report he did on one of her books that he finally had read. Now that Andy Bombeck is a father, he's seeing his mother's family-driven humor differently than he did as a child-'I think the book report would definitely be different.' " Of course they still miss their mother, and said in the interview that "she would have been a great grandmother."

Answer: She did her own housework.

" 'If I didn't do my own housework, then I have no business writing about it,' she said. 'I spend 90 percent of my time living scripts and 10 percent writing them.' " said Lawrence Van Gelder in Bombeck's 1996 obituary in the "New York Times." Erma Bombeck lived honestly, and with bravery and humor, despite years of living with illness. Bill Bombeck shared with the "St Louis Post-Dispatch(MO)" some words he gave in a private funeral service for Erma.

He was quoted in that article as saying "I have met astronauts, war heroes, firefighters and police officers, but I have never known anyone with more courage than Erma. Courage has been called grace under fire. I would propose we call it Erma under fire." You are missed, Erma Bombeck.