Half Man Half Biscuit's Sporting Celebrities Quiz

Answer: Jimmy White

In 1990, Stephen Hendry beat Jimmy White to win the World Snooker Championship, aged just 21, with 18-12 being the final score. (Incidentally, the Crucible Theatre, home of the World Snooker Championship final since 1977, also gets a mention in the line 'shine your shoes and head for the Crucible'.)

Len Ganley, a former milkman and chimney sweep, started out as a snooker player while living in his native Northern Ireland. He became a referee at the suggestion of Welsh snooker champion Ray Reardon, after playing a match against him in 1976. Despite being teetotal, Ganley appeared in an advert for John Smith's beer, which depicted him crushing a snooker ball (according to an article in 'the Independent', the original choice, John Smythe, was rejected for not looking intimidating enough). He died in 2011.

Random Len Ganley factoid: that snooker ball in the advert was actually a condom filled with sand. Originally, polystyrene balls were going to be used, but they were too brittle.

Answer: Rallying

Over the course of his career, Hannu Mikkola raced with various teams, such as Subaru and Ford. He won the 1000 Lakes Rally (now known as the Neste Oil Rally) in his native Finland seven times, and was the World Rally Championship winner in 1983, driving an Audi Quattro. (The '80s was a good time for Finnish rally drivers - besides Mikkola, Ari Vatanen and Timo Salonen were the winners in 1981 and 1985 respectively, and Juha Kankkunen won the Championship for two years running in 1986 and 1987.)

Mikkola retired in 1993, although he still participated in the occasional race afterwards, such as the Colin McRae Forest Stages rally in 2008. McRae had died in a helicopter crash the previous year, and Mikkola and several former rallying world champions, including his compatriot Ari Vatanen and former team mate Russell Brookes, raced against each other in tribute.

Random Hannu Mikkola factoid: his son Juha is also a sportsman, though in the field of floorball rather than rallying.

Answer: Manchester United

The lyrics may well be referring to Nobby Stiles dancing on the pitch post-match with his false teeth in one hand and the trophy in the other (also mentioned in 'Three Lions' by David Baddiel, Frank Skinner and the Lightning Seeds).

At the time of England's win, Stiles played for Manchester United, then managed by Matt Busby. This legendary United side also included Denis Law, George Best and Bobby Charlton, and went on to win the European Cup in 1968. Stiles left Manchester United for Middlesbrough in 1971, and later went on to manage Preston North End.

Random Nobby Stiles factoid: from 1989 to 1993, he had a spell as Manchester United's youth coach, working with the likes of Paul Scholes, Nicky Butt, the Neville brothers, and David Beckham.

Answer: He beat John McEnroe at the 1979 US Open

In fact, it was John McEnroe who won that year. Seriously.

In 1985, Gerulaitis teamed up with Bobby Riggs to play Martina Navratilova and Pam Shriver in a 'Battle of the Sexes'. Shriver and Navratilova won.

Pete Sampras won the Italian Open in 1994, beating Boris Becker. As his usual coach, Tim Gullikson, was away on holiday, Gerulaitis coached him instead during the contest. Three months later, Gerulaitis died of carbon monoxide poisoning, caused by a faulty propane heater. McEnroe, Bjorn Borg and Jimmy Connors were pallbearers at his funeral.

Random Vitas Gerulaitis factoid: off the tennis court, he was a regular at New York nightclub Studio 54, and a keen golfer. At his funeral, his sister Ruta placed his favourite club inside the coffin.

Answer: Table tennis

Chester Barnes was a teenage table tennis champion, winning his first table tennis championship match aged only 15. An England international, he was banned in 1968 after failing to turn up to matches or train with his team mates. On one occasion, during his ban period, he watched the England team playing Czechoslovakia. When it was Stuart Gibbs' turn to serve and the announcer mistakenly announced 'Chester Barnes to serve', Barnes leapt over the barrier and served the ball with Gibbs' bat. After retiring from table tennis, he went on to become a racehorse trainer.

Random Chester Barnes factoid: his real name is actually George. According to Barnes' autobiography, his father decided to call him Chester as the Charlie Chester was playing on the radio when he was born. Although he was officially christened George, the name 'Chester' stuck.

Answer: Italy 3-1 West Germany

The other scorers for Italy were Marco Tardelli and Alessandro Altobelli. Paolo Rossi was awarded both the Golden Ball and the Golden Boot (or Golden Shoe as it was known back then) for his performance in the tournament; he was the first Italian player to win either award.

'Rossi was framed' is a reference to the Totonero match fixing scandal in 1980 ('totonero' being an Italian term for illegal betting), when a pair of businessmen in Rome offered several players money to throw matches. Two managers and twenty players were subsquently banned, and points were deducted from offending clubs; Lazio and AC Milan were both relegated to the Serie B.

Random Paolo Rossi factoid, regarding the above: he was playing for Perugia at the time, and was originally suspended for three years. However - fortunately for the Italian squad, as it later turned out - his ban was reduced to two years after an appeal.

Answer: Calgary (1988)

Verena 'Vreni' Schneider won two gold medals at the Calgary Winter Olympics in 1988, and another gold at Lillehammer in 1994 in the women's slalom event. At the latter, she also won a silver medal for the women's combined event (a combination of slalom and downhill skiing), and a bronze medal for the women's giant slalom.

After retiring from skiing, Schneider set up a ski and snowboarding school in her hometown of Elm. She also became an ambassador for Right To Play, a charitable organisation which aims to use sport and games as a means of teaching impoverished children life skills.

Random Vreni Schneider factoid: there is a ski slope named after her in Elm, the Vreni Schneider Piste.

Answer: Zinedine Zidane

Zinedine Zidane's headbutt of Marco Materazzi was triggered by a verbal argument between the two, in which Materazzi was alleged to have insulted Zidane's sister. (Italy went on to win the match 5-3 on penalties, the second of which was scored by Materazzi.) This wasn't the first time Zidane had headbutted a player; in the 2000-2001 season, while playing for Juventus, he received a ban for headbutting Jochen Kientz of Hamburger SV during a Champions League match. After the World Cup debacle, Zidane retired from professional football, though he still played for the Real Madrid Veterans team.

As for the others: Dino Zoff and Andoni Zubizarreta were goalkeepers who played for Italy and Spain respectively, and Zico was a Brazilian midfielder. Romeo Zondervan (can't leave him out!) was a Surinamese midfielder who played for the Netherlands at an international level.

Random Zinedine Zidane factoid: in 2005, he was the subject of a French documentary film, 'Zidane: An Independent Portrait', which followed Zidane's movements on the pitch during a match between Real Madrid and Villarreal. It was filmed in real time with 17 cameras. Scottish band Mogwai provided the soundtrack.

Answer: Garry Kasparov

Garry Kasparov had previously played against the supercomputer Deep Blue in 1996 and beaten it 4-2. However, by the time of the rematch the following year, Deep Blue had been upgraded, and won 3.5-2.5. Despite Kasparov accusing the IBM team of cheating, and calling for another rematch, the computer was retired. A documentary, 'Game Over: Kasparov and the Machine', was made about the match in 2003.

The idea of Deep Blue first came about when Feng-Hsiung Hsu, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University, created a chess-playing computer called Chiptest as part of his dissertation project. He and another student, Murray Campbell, were hired by IBM, and with a team of computer scientists, they created Deep Blue.

Random Deep Blue factoid: Deep Blue's predecessor, Deep Thought, was named after a computer in Douglas Adams' 'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy'. Also, 'Bad Losers on Yahoo Chess' is not the only song to have mentioned the chess-playing computer. There's a song on Arcade Fire's third album, 'The Suburbs', called 'Deep Blue', featuring the lines 'you could never have predicted that he could see through you / Kasparov, Deep Blue, 1996'.

Answer: Derby County

Before signing for Sunderland, Mart Poom had played for Derby County. When Sunderland played Derby County on 20th September 2003, they were 1-0 down. With manager Mick McCarthy urging him on, Poom left his goal, ran up the field and headed an equaliser home in the 90th minute. He was cheered by supporters on both sides. A Wearside brewery created an ale known as 'Poominator Ale' in the goalkeeper's honour.

Random Mart Poom factoid: to celebrate its 50th birthday in 2004, UEFA asked each member to pick their country's best player of the last fifty years. Mart Poom was the Estonian Football Association's player of choice. Other players included Bobby Moore for England, Michael Laudrup for Denmark, George Best for Northern Ireland, and Eusébio for Portugal.

(Oranjeboom, incidentally, is a Dutch lager.)