Alice in Blunderland: Game-Show Wrong-Answer Redux Quiz

Answer: France

"This might be a stupid question..." the lady prefaced, "but I thought Europe WAS a country!" She then considered aloud, "France? Like, I know they speak French there, don't they? ... Is France a country?" A bit sheepishly, she admitted, "I don't know what I'm doin' here."

Mercifully, the show allowed players to be helped somewhat by their fifth-grade "classmates," so when this confused contestant opted to invoke this assistance, ten-year-old Nathan -- who actually knows what a country is -- saved the day with the right answer (Hungary, of course).

Answer: $5 million

It's possible that this contestant gave his outrageous bid on purpose, but judging by his tone of voice and facial expression, it seems more like he was just caught up in the excitement and didn't realize the absurdity of what he said: "Five million dollars, Bob."

Incredulous, the host replied, "Five MILLION?" Never one to lose his composure for long, though, he proceeded to tell the would-be contestant, "Rick. Sit down for a minute and gather yourself together. Just sit down there and relax. ... Breathe deeply."

Since the electronic readouts could only display four digits anyway, Barker allowed the man the chance to try again -- which he did, making a much more reasonable bid of $1100. (But he still overshot the real price and lost.)

Answer: Ten decades

"Ten decades," one wife said. Once the ladies had answered all three of that round's questions, the husbands were brought back, and Bob posed to them the same question, slightly reworded: "Gentlemen, how many decades has your mother lived?" One wife, Gloria, had said "ten decades" without hesitation, but her husband hesitated. "Joe, you have a troubled look on your face," Bob said. "What's the matter?"

Joe replied, "Well, I don't know what a decade is," to everyone's amusement. Deciding to see if he could figure out a good guess, he mumbled, "Forty-fourth birthday ... so she'd be ... four years in a decade ... ten decades."

His wife, with a look of bemused delight, held up her answer card, which also read "10." Objectively, it was a ludicrous answer -- Gloria's mother-in-law was surely not 100 years old -- but per the show's rules, all that mattered was that you and your spouse gave the same answer. So even though the reply was silly, the couple received credit for having matched!

Answer: "A sense of humor"

Actually, the precise wording as read by Marc was as follows: "Which of the following is missing on a Manx cat? (A) tail, (B) hair, (C) sense of humor." Since the *original* multiple-choice answers (that Marc provided) wouldn't have worked here, I adapted the question and choices a bit. In any event, one would think that "a sense of humor" was intended as just that -- a bit of humor -- but the family chose it anyway.

Before informing them that the REAL answer was that Manx cats do not have tails, a bemused Marc paused and quipped to the audience, "I just read 'em, folks ... that's all I do."

Credit to TVTropes.org for the correct quotation.

Answer: "Mister Rogers"

The contestant, upon pressing his signaling device to ring in, seemed to realize he had drawn a blank, as he haltingly replied, "Mister ... Rogers." This answer, which bordered on the paranormal, prompted a chortling Jim to say to everyone: "Can you see -- can you see Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood? 'Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters,' that's who you would..."

A bit red-faced but taking it in stride, the contestant laughed, "It was just an idea," to which Jim Perry retorted: "Well, I've got an idea, John -- you lose five dollars for that incorrect answer!"

Answer: "Goes to bed"

Although all of these ideas might prompt your guests to leave, you might not see them again -- you'd probably give them a rather peculiar impression of you! In any event, the contestant slapped the buzzer and blurted out, "Goes to bed." Richard, in his wonderfully dry-wit way, remarked, "That would certainly tip me off."

But a guess is a guess, so he turned to the big board to see if that answer made the survey: "She, uh, hits the sack?" Not surprisingly, it wasn't there. More realistic answers included things like "starts to clean up," "puts out the candles," "looks at the time" and "yawns." Then again, if the subtle approach isn't working on your houseguests, sometimes you just have to go for the direct approach. Make it as clear as day: It's time to say goodnight!

Answer: "Margaret"

If a person wanted to play "Dog Eat Dog," he or she had to be mentally quick -- and very physically adept. Virtually every game had an intense physical challenge, usually one of sheer strength, speed or stamina. This time, the "Head-to-Head-Challenge" (the penultimate round) required players to dive to the bottom of "the tank" -- a massive, very deep pool -- and search through a pile of placards, each with a (possible) answer on it, and bring one back to the surface.

When one player, who had been holding his breath underwater for a good while, finally surfaced, he placed his answer to the Oktoberfest question: "Margaret." The show lacked a studio audience, but plenty of laughter -- both canned and from the contestants on the sidelines -- ensued.

After confirming to the rival player that his answer of "Germany" was correct, Brooke turned to the other man and, without missing a beat, "Terence ... 'Margaret' is not a European country, sweetheart!"

Answer: "Believe me, I've been vacuumed before"

While all four choices pretty much sound like gibberish -- and that's about what they are -- "believe me, I've been vacuumed before" is what was guessed. (How many times do you imagine THAT particular string of words has ever been uttered?) The player's name was Andy Cohen -- a comical contestant, but NOT the famous TV producer and host.

A particularly elongated buzzer followed Andy's guess, with Trebek commenting, "That was an editorial comment on the part of our producer."

The real answer, which came into focus when most of the rebus was visible, was "behind closed doors."

As a side note, one of the decoy answers -- "cesspool sardine sweethearts" -- is not, in fact, just something I concocted one night. It's the team name two kids chose for themselves in an early episode of "Double Dare," the children's game show (the kids were encouraged to concoct nonsensical names).

Answer: "What is fear of Mexican music stars?"

Contestant: "What is ... fear of Mexican music stars?"
Alex: No, but that's a great response. The correct response, 'What is fear of the moon?'" (The Ancient Greek "seleno" means "moon.")

Again, this was a player who clearly knew this was not in her lexicon, so she went for a bit of punnery, making a fairly obvious reference to Selena Gomez. This Daily Double came from the decidedly difficult category of "What Are You Afraid Of?" We can imagine that one of the answers to THAT question would be "making a fool of myself on national TV"!

Answer: "I'm from Canada; I don't know"

Well, instead of offering even a guess -- or the correct answer -- this was really more of a lazy cop-out. Even so, an amused Anne decided to treat it as an answer, leading to the following exchange:

Anne: "In November 1973, Richard Nixon made a nationally televised statement saying, 'I am not a...' what?"
Trish: I'm from Canada. I don't know.
Anne: [stifling a laugh] No, he didn't say that; he said "crook."

You KNOW you gave a dumb response when "Queen of Mean" Anne Robinson, of all people, laughs at your answer!