'M*A*S*H' - 'The Bus' Trivia Quiz

Answer: Klinger

On board the bus are Hawkeye and his sidekick BJ, Frank Burns (who provides the entertainment), Radar and Colonel Potter. This makes one wonder, who is in command back at the 4077th? It surely must be Margaret, though she is never visually given command of the outfit during the series...so much for women's lib! The doctors are returning from a conference of the '38th Parellel Medical Society', whatever that may be.

Answer: Radar

This should have been easy for those of you who have seen the episode, especially since Klinger and Zale don't even appear! Radar has been the designated driver, and to no one's surprise has nonchalantly navigated the gang into no man's land. Potter orders the bus stopped and for each of the doctors, including himself, to search 100 yards from the bus in every direction. Unfortunately, after the search they discover that they're even more lost than when they had begun!

Answer: Kilroy

Hawkeye makes a reference to the famous phrase 'Kilroy was here', commonly written by soldiers during World War II. In some cartoons, the phrase is written under a man whose nose and fingers are hanging just above a window or wall, just as BJ's are. The 'M*A*S*H' writers are very good with these cultural references.

Answer: Frank

Frank suggests that he's something of a gearhead, but he ends up getting quite a shock when he sticks his head under the hood of the trunk. Commanding Radar to 'turn 'er over', Frank is tossed about five feet from the bus from a nasty electric shock. The only thing Frank hurts is his pride, however, and his nasty temper remains intact.

Answer: He identifies a fighter jet flying directly over his head

Frank's use of the walkie-talkie is silly to begin with because its partner is back at the 4077th, at least 20 miles away, and it's broken. Undeterred, Frank announces his location 'directly under a fighter jet' by shouting 'Now!' BJ responds, 'Frank, that thing is a thousand feet up and going 500 miles an hour.' Hawkeye adds, 'By the time you said 'now', the plane was in its hangar and the pilot was in his jammies.' Later, Frank locates himself directly under the brightest star in the sky, further accenting his idiocy.

Answer: Colette

Wow, now that was a tough one, my apologies! Potter claims to have been struck blind temporarily after the battle at Chateau-Thierry, and spent a month in convalescence under the care of a nurse named Colette. He fell in love with her voice, suggesting that it helped him through the darkness of his month-long blindness.

When his bandages came off after the long month he claims to have pretended he was still blind, suggesting that Colette's physical appearance did not match her voice.

Answer: No

Frank claims that Helen was 'really warm for [his] form', one of my favorite lines from him. He could not 'oblige' Helen, however, because, to put it in Frank's term, he did not 'approve of that sort of happiness before marriage'. Under his breath Potter calls Frank a 'creep' at this point. Poor Frank; even in a bonding moment he manages to turn people off with his stumbling and bumbling.

Answer: He talks of Radar in the past tense

Radar disappears for quite a spell after leaving the bus, but returns later while Frank is guarding a Korean soldier who has been captured (actually, Frank has been sleeping on the job). Radar claims to have left the bus to search for 'help', but in reality his disappearance is related to the idea of creating suspense for the viewer (at least, that's my cynical assessment).

Answer: He gets the bus started again

Apparently, this Korean fellow is not only a soldier, but also a mechanic. He is played by the very familiar actor (for fans of 'M*A*S*H', at least) Soon Teck Oh. Soon Teck Oh plays about six different characters during the run of the show. Oddly enough, the final scene in the show depicts Frank continuing to attempt to contact someone with the walkie-talkie, but this time the other walkie-talkie is on board the bus, working and in the hands of the Korean soldier. So much for continuity!

Answer: Chocolate bars

Frank has been munching away at his chocolate bars while the rest of the gang is not looking. Radar happens to notice Frank's stash and, in an underhanded fashion, convinces Frank to provide a bar for each member of the outfit, including the captured Korean soldier. I hope you have enjoyed this quiz and will try more of my 'M*A*S*H'-related quizzes in the future...thank you for playing.