Meanwhile... ("Roseanne", Season 1) Quiz

Answer: Jackie shows up late to babysit the kids.

Jackie is late because she has to return a blouse to the mall, so Roseanne leaves Becky in charge. When Jackie finally shows up, the kids refuse to let her in the house because Roseanne instructed them not to open the door for anybody.

Answer: Becky and Darlene fight over territory in their room.

Roseanne, in response to Darlene's and Becky's constant bickering, jokingly suggests that they should fight to the death. Her real solution, however, was to divide the room using a masking tape boundary line.

Answer: Booker and Jackie make a very friendly bet.

The wager is if Booker wins, Jackie has to spend the night at his place. If Jackie wins, Booker has to spend the night at her place...scrubbing the bathroom. Booker wins the bet, but decides he would rather have Jackie spend the night on her own terms and not just because she won a bet.

Answer: Darlene struggles to write a book report.

Darlene is dragging her feet when it comes to completing her report about Betsy Ross. She says, "I hate Betsy Ross. I wish she'd sewn her fingers together!"

Answer: Becky is nervous about being invited to Chip's house for dinner.

When Becky is stressing out about meeting Chip's parents, she asks Roseanne, "What if they serve me something that makes me gag, like okra?" Roseanne tells her to spit it out into her napkin and hide it in her purse.

Answer: Dan's dopey friend Dwight flirts with Jackie.

Dwight tries to impress Jackie by showing her his money clip and by telling her he drives a "lime green monster". Despite his goofiness, Jackie is willing to give Dwight a chance until he tells her, "with a chassis like yours, it'd be a pleasure to pop your hood."

Answer: Darlene attempts forgery when her report card reveals bad news.

Roseanne told Darlene that if she got one more D on her report card, she'd be off the basketball team. Darlene spends all evening trying to match the red ink on her report card to turn her D into a B. Darlene quips, "I can't match the red ink. Crane probably drains the blood from stray cats to get her ink!"

Answer: Dan and Roseanne squabble about where they should spend their fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Roseanne wants to go to a fancy beach resort in Florida. Dan wants to go to a cabin in the Wisconsin wood. Neither get their way and they spend the weekend home alone while Jackie takes the kids to Wizard World.

Answer: Darlene experiments with smoking cigarettes.

Darlene thinks smoking is a great idea until Roseanne finds the cigarettes that Darlene left in the pocket of her jeans. Dan and Roseanne encourage Darlene to light up right there in the living room while they lecture her about yellow teeth and emphysema. Darlene quits then and there.

Answer: Darlene gets her first period.

Poor Darlene thinks her life is over and begins to throw out all of her sporting goods. Roseanne tenderly explains to Darlene that she can be any type of woman that she chooses to be and just because she's growing up, that doesn't mean that she has to become a different person. And she points out that even basketballs and baseball gloves are girl's things, as long as a girl uses them.

Answer: Dan and D.J. shop for shoes.

Roseanne nags Dan to buy a new pair of dress shoes. It takes $79.95 and half a day of waiting on the shoe salesman with a rotten attitude to help him, but Dan finally gets the shoes. After they get home, Roseanne asks Dan to return the shoes so they can afford the dress that Becky wants for the dance.

Answer: Becky makes brownies in preparation for a big slumber party.

Becky is baking triple fudge brownies to take to the slumber party. Roseanne asks, "What are the other girls bringing, insulin?"

Answer: D.J. gets finger paint all over the house.

D.J. gets finger paint on the living room carpet and all over the downstairs bathroom. When Roseanne gets home from the diner, she finds Dan on his hands and knees scrubbing the paint out of the carpet and singing "Stand By Your Man".

Answer: Darlene makes baklava.

Darlene has to make baklava for Greek Week at school. Fortunately, the police officer who shows up to deal with the dead salesman is Greek and helps Darlene perfect her phyllo technique while they wait for the coroner to arrive.

Answer: Jackie's apartment is fumigated.

As if having her parents drop in without warning wasn't stressful enough, Roseanne also has to house Jackie for the night while her apartment is being fumigated. Ever the passive-aggressive critic, Bev mentions to Roseanne that she and Al worry about Jackie living in "a building that needs to be fumigated."