Priests, Priests, Priests! Trivia Quiz

Answer: Father Dick Byrne

Father Dick Byrne is Ted's opposite number, living on the neighbouring Rugged Island with his curate, Cyril, and an older priest who is, I think, never named, though don't quote me on that. Ted thinks it's "very strange, three priests living alone in one parochial house over there", but his biggest insult for Dick Byrne is this: "As priests go, he's a really bad priest." Pow!

Note: Fr Hackett is of course the old priest who lives WITH him, Fr. Chewy Louie is a made-up name guessed by Mrs Doyle when she was trying to work out the name of the mysterious priest in the Christmas special, and Fr. Brian Trendy is a previous persona of the late Dermot Morgan, who of course played Ted. Perhaps inspiration for the writers, subconsciously?

Answer: Father Larry Duff

Example: when Ted thinks of calling Father Larry, he is in on holiday (I think) being held as a hostage at gunpoint. We see his phone ring and the gunmen jumping, the conclusion being obvious as to what happens next!

All the others are incarnations of Larry Hagman or his character from "Dallas". Obviously.

Answer: Father Jessup

Father Jessup answers questions about, for example, if he's helping Bishop Brennan (which he is) with responses like "No, I'm out in space, doing important work for NASA!" His sarcasm confuses Mrs Doyle who, when asking him if he and Bishop Brennan want a cup of tea, is told "No, we'd rather die of thirst!" and is not sure whether or not he is serious.

His sarcasm lands him in hot water though, or actually in Jack's dirty underpants hamper, where no man should venture, and Mrs Doyle, on hearing he wants to be released and remembering that Father Ted advised her to always do the opposite of what Jessup says, leaves him there.

Answer: Father Fintan Stack

Played by the revered Irish comic, Brendan Grace, Father Stack has an unhealthy interest in Jungle Music, and likes to play it loud.

Answer: Father Stone

Nobody would ever want to have Father Stone stay with them! No matter what you suggest, his only response is "no, I'm fine thanks." The worst guest ever, and even worse for Ted when he learns that Fr Stone looks forward every year to his visit to Ted, counting off the days!

Answer: Father Noel Furlong

He's one of those irritating people who tend to set themselves up as the master of ceremonies, and delight in belittling other people while pretending "it's all just a bit of a laugh". Thankfully, he met his end while holding a screaming competition in a dangerously unstable cave...

Answer: Father Finnegan

He once danced across America for charity. "Got mugged every few miles", according to Ted. He was ALWAYS dancing, but you can't keep that up forever, and he finally succumbed to a heart attack while (you guessed it) dancing.

Answer: Father Billy O'Dwyer

He actually has a large collection of records but forgot them. He did remember one though; it was in his car and had to serve as the entire music for the whole night. It was "Ghost town" by the Specials. It was particularly hilarious when, at the end of the night, as we do here, he played the National Anthem. It was "Ghost town" again.

Answer: Father Romeo Sensini

"Takes very good care of himself," mutters Father Dick Byrne to Ted, obviously enjoying his rival's discomfort at the unveiling of the aged superstar. "Only needs two nuns to help him out of a chair. Drinks only the finest wines."

Answer: Father Beeching

Father Beeching does not seem to get it at all, being completely oblivious to the danger Dougal is in. He and Father Clarke think the best thing to do is say Mass. Not surprisingly, this does not help at all.