"Secrets of a Successful Marriage" Quiz

Answer: yell at him

After Moe yells at Homer for beating him in poker, Carl says, "Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just 'cause he's a little slow." Homer gasps, then the camera pans to the top of his head and we hear him thinking, "Something was said. Not good. What was it? 'Don't yell at Homer!' No, that's okay. What was it? Slow! They called you slow!" He stands up and yells, "How dare you call me that! I, huh?" We then see that it's late and everyone has gone home. Lenny walks into the kitchen wearing pajamas, opens the refrigerator and says, "Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you are slow."

Answer: TV Networks

When Homer asks his family if they think he's slow, Bart and Lisa stutter and Marge says, "Uh, we don't think you're slow. On the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything." Homer then says, "You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge.

They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

Answer: education

Later that night, Homer comes to the realization that he is slow and Marge tells him, "Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better." Homer suggests, "Take another bath in malt liquor?" Marge says, "There's that, or you could take an adult education course." Homer then says, "Oh, and how is 'education' supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?" Marge says, "That's because you were drunk!"

Answer: Lisa

Lisa tells Homer, "I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation?" Homer says, "Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher."

Answer: Otto

Principal Skinner suggests, "How about if we tell you about our problems with relationships?" Homer says, "Yeah! That'll eat up some time." Homer calls on Otto and he says, "My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody's good enough for me." Lionel Hutz says, "My problem is I'm a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money's gone." Edna Krabappel says, "Well I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices." Lionel whispers in her ear and she laughs and says, "Okay, here's a set of house keys and my ATM card."

Answer: Chinatown

Marge tells Homer she thinks he can be a good teacher and still respect their privacy. Homer says, "Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his butt on the line. And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown." Marge says, "Homer, don't ever tell them personal stuff about me again!" Meekly, Homer says, "Yes ma'am."

Answer: Mr. X and Mrs. Y

When the class was bored with Homer, they started to leave. Homer quickly thought up something to say and says, "I do have a story about two other young marrieds." Everyone goes back to their seats and Homer says, "Now, the wife of this couple has an interesting quirk in the bedroom.

It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow." Edna Krabappel says, "We need names!" Homer then says, "Well, let's just call them, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson'."

Answer: Moe

Marge is furious that Homer invited his class to their home so they could observe them. She tells him she wants it to end. Moe then says, "Hey Homer, why don't you just nibble her elbow? That always melts her butter, right?" Marge then says, "All right, okay. Everybody out!" Apu then says, "Ooh, she's gotta have it!" Marge is really mad and says, "Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, out, out, out!" Homer says, "All right, we're breaking early tonight, class. For tomorrow, you should read pages seven through eighteen in Lisa's diary."

Answer: Yes

While up in Bart's treehouse, Homer sees Reverend Lovejoy and his wife approaching their front door and Homer thinks, "Oh, good. Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back! He has to push the sanctity of marriage, or his God will punish him!" The scene cuts to inside the house and Reverend Lovejoy says, "Get a divorce." His wife agrees and Marge asks, "But isn't that a sin?" He tells her, "Marge, everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."

Answer: Frenchman

Homer tells Marge, "I know now what I can offer you that no one else can, complete and utter dependence!" Marge says, "Homer, that's not a good thing." Homer tells her, "Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing! Marge, I need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could possibly ever need you! I need you to take care of me, to put up with me, and most of all I need you to love me, 'cause I love you." Marge then asks, "But how do I know I can trust you?" Homer says, "Marge, look at me, we've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman.

In another few hours I'll be dead! I can't afford to lose your trust again."