"Seinfeld" - "The Alternate Side" Quiz

Answer: He calls the car-phone

Jerry: "You know, I'd better call the car-phone company, cancel my service."
George: "Maybe you should call your car-phone."
Jerry (laughing): "Yeah."
Jerry: "He's probably driving it right now."
George: "Wait a minute, call the car-phone. See what happens."
Jerry: "Are you serious?"
George: "Yeah, go ahead. Call."
Jerry: "I don't even know if I remember the number."

Answer: The keys were in it

The following is the full car-phone call to Jerry's stolen car:

Thief: "Hello."
Jerry: "Hello."
Jerry: "Is this 555-8383?"
Thief: "I have no idea."
Jerry: "Can I ask you a question?"
Thief: "Sure."
Jerry: "Did you steal my car?"
Thief: "Yes, I did."
Jerry: "You did?"
Thief: "I did."
Jerry: "But that's my car."
Thief: "I didn't know it was yours."
Jerry: "What are you going to do with it?"
Thief: "I don't know. Drive around."
Jerry: "Then can I have it back?"
Thief: "No, I'm going to keep it."
Kramer: "Give it here. Let me talk to him."
Kramer (on phone): "Hello."
Thief: "Yeah, who's this?"
Kramer: "Kramer."
Thief: "Hello, Kramer."
Kramer: "Listen, there's a pair of gloves in the glove compartment."
Thief: "Wait, hold on."
Thief: "Brown ones?"
Kramer: "Yeah."
Kramer: "Could you mail those to me? Or bring them by my building."
Kramer: "It's 129 West 81st Street."
Thief: "129... Okay."
Kramer: "All right, thanks a lot."
Kramer: "Here's Jerry."
Jerry (to Kramer): "Gloves."
Jerry: "Hello."
Thief: "Jerry."
Jerry: "Yeah. Let me ask you a question, how do you cross those wires?"
Thief: "I didn't cross any wires, the keys were in it."
Jerry: "Sid left the keys in the car."
Jerry: "Alright I gotta go. Drive carefully."
Thief: "Hey, Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune-up? Because I can't find..."
(Jerry hangs up)

Answer: Sid

Jerry: "Sid left the keys in the car."
George: "Who's Sid?"
Jerry: "This guy in the neighbourhood, he parks cars on the block."
George: "What do you mean?"
Jerry: "He moves cars from one side of the street to the other, so you don't get a ticket."
George: "What, do you pay him for that?"

Answer: George

Sid: "Jerry, I'm going to visit my sister in Virginia next Wednesday..."
Sid: "... for a week, so I can't park it."
Jerry: "This Wednesday?"
Sid: "No, next Wednesday. The week after this Wednesday."
Jerry: "But the Wednesday two days from now is the next Wednesday."
Sid: "If I meant this Wednesday, I would've said this Wednesday. It's the week after this Wednesday."
George: "Sid, who's going to move the cars while you're away?"
Sid: "Whoever want's to move them. What do I care who moves them?"
Sid: "They can move themselves if they want."
George: "Maybe I could move them until you get back."
Sid: "What's a young man like you want to move cars for? You don't work?"
George: "I'm in a transition phase right now."
Sid: "Well, if you want to move the cars, move the cars."
Sid: "Just don't forget to take the keys out."

Answer: Vibrant

Jerry: "Sixty-six years old?"
Elaine: "Yeah, well, he's in perfect health."
Elaine: "He works out, he's vibrant, you'd really like him."
Jerry: "Why do people always say that? I hate everybody. Why would I like him?"
Elaine: "So, what do you think? Would you go out with a 66 year old woman?"
Jerry: "Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant."
Jerry: "So vibrant she'd be spinning."

Answer: True

Jerry is angry with the rent-a-car company because they took his reservation for a mid-size car and they could only get him a compact.

Clerk: "Well, we have a blue Ford Escort for you, Mr. Seinfeld."
Clerk: "Would you like insurance?"
Jerry: "Yeah, you'd better give me the insurance because I am going to beat this thing."
Clerk (nervously): "Please fill this out."

Answer: True

Elaine: "What's your line?"
Kramer: "Well, I'm there with Woody and we're at this bar."
Kramer: "You know its Woody Allen, did I mention that?"
Everyone: "We got it. We got it."
Kramer: "I'm sitting there with Woody, and I turn to him and I go: 'boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty'."
George: "Is that how you're going to say it?"
Kramer: "No, no, I'm working on it."

Answer: A cookie

Jerry, Elaine and Kramer are thinking of ways to help Owen while they wait for the ambulance.

Jerry: "Maybe he's a diabetic, he might just need a cookie or something."
Elaine: "A cookie!"
Kramer: "Can you give him a cookie?"
Elaine: "How's he going to chew it?"
Jerry: "Move his teeth, it happened to my uncle. It revived him."
Elaine: "Careful, you're getting crumbs all over him."
Kramer: "I've got him chewing, but I don't think he's going to swallow."
Elaine: "We could put a few cookies in a blender and he could drink it."
Jerry: "Cookies don't liquefy."
Elaine: "Yes they do, you can liquefy a cookie."
Kramer: "I'll get the blender."
Jerry: "What blender? I don't have a blender."
Kramer: "You've got a blender."
Jerry: "I think I'd know if I had a blender."
Elaine: "Where is the ambulance?"
(Sound of a siren and a crash)

Answer: He wasn't the driver

The collision happened when George was moving the rent-a-car (as part of his new job).

Clerk: "Sir, the estimate on the damage to your car is $2866."
Jerry: "I got the insurance and everything..."
Clerk: "Yes, now, in your report you said you were not the driver of the car at the time of the accident."
Jerry: "Somebody else was driving it."
Clerk: "All right, well, sir, you're only covered for when you're driving the car."
Jerry (surprised): "What's that?"
Clerk: You're not covered for other drivers."
Jerry: "Other drivers?"
Jerry: "Your whole business is based on other drivers, it's a rented car."
Jerry: "That's who's driving it. Other drivers."
Jerry: "Doesn't my credit card cover me or something?"
Clerk: "Not that particular one."
Jerry: "I've got a hundred cards, here, pick a card, take a card, any card you want."
Clerk: "Well, sir, if you had read the rental agreement."
Jerry: "Did you see the size of that document? It's like the declaration of independence, who's going to read that?"
Clerk: "Mr. Seinfeld, as it stands right now, you are not covered for the damage, and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about that."
Jerry (angrily): "These pretzels are making me thirsty."

Answer: Gloves

This is at the very end of the episode, the group is at the diner and Jerry sees the gloves Kramer had left in his car before it was stolen.

Jerry (sees gloves): "Oh, for crying out loud."