This Television Quiz Has an Appendix

Answer: Hawkeye's own long-johns

"The Long-John Flap" (first aired February 17, 1973) was episode 19 in the first season of "MASH", which had an original run from 1972 to 1983, and which can still be seen in syndication around the world. This was the first of many episodes to be written by Alan Alda, who also played the part of Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, one of the madcap surgeons in the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital unit that provides the title of the series as well as its setting.

The series was set in the Korean War, and this episode concerned the difficulty of living in tents during the cold Korean winters. Everyone was freezing cold except Hawkeye, who received a pair of long-johns (thermal underwear) sent from Maine by his father. The long-johns formed the basis for a series of comic incidents reminiscent of a French farce. When Trapper got sick, Hawkeye gave the long-johns to him to speed his recovery; Trapper lost them to Radar in a poker game; Radar traded them to the cook for a hot roast lamb dinner; the cook bribed Frank to overlook the unsanitary kitchen conditions; Frank gave them to Margaret as a sign of his affection; Klinger stole them from Margaret's tent, then gave them to Father Mulcahy in a fit of remorse; Father Mulcahy gave them to Henry for safekeeping, and Henry was wearing them when he suffered an attack of appendicitis. After Hawkeye successfully removed the offending appendix, Henry gratefully returned his long-johns.

Answer: Intern

The character of the young intern James Kildare originated in a series of movies in the 1940s, in which the role was played by Lew Ayres. Richard Chamberlain took the lead in the TV series which aired from 1961 to 1966, and became a hit with teenage fans, mostly female.

The plots revolved around his attempts to help his patients and to gain the respect of his supervisor, Dr. Leonard Gillespie (played by Raymond Massey). But for many of us, the soap-opera style plots were important primarily an excuse for Chamberlain to look gorgeous in a variety of moods.

He sang the show's theme song, "Three Stars Will Shine Tonight", which became a Top Ten hit on the Billboard Hot 100 when it was released as a single in 1962.

Answer: Dr. Diane Grad

The '90s was a time when medical drama shows were very popular, and "Chicago Hope" was one of the best. Mandy Patinkin's portrayal of the brilliant brooding surgeon (and piano player) Jeffrey Geiger was particularly memorable. Adam Arkin played his best friend, and neurosurgeon, Aaron Shutt, and Christine Lahti portrayed Kate Austin, a brilliant cardiac surgeon. Diane Grad (played by Jayne Brook) was an expert in infectious diseases. Having spent much of her earlier career in Africa, she joined the staff of Chicago Hope to conduct research in a number of areas, including AIDS.

When her research grant was terminated, she headed back to Africa, later to return to Chicago and start treating patients while undergoing a series of dramatic events which included nearly dying when giving birth to her daughter, suspected breast cancer, and becoming infected with HIV.

Answer: Empty Nest

"Empty Nest" (1988-1995) was a spin-off show - the Weston family were neighbours first seen in an episode of "The Golden Girls". The show mostly focused on the domestic situation of the widower whose two adult daughters had moved back home, but also included regular scenes at the hospital where Dr. Weston saw his young patients.

This afforded an opportunity for some child slapstick, and for his receptionist, Laverne, to make dry comments on his more idiotic actions.

Answer: Dr. Peter Benton

These five were the five main original stars of this medical drama show written by Michael Crichton which won 23 Emmy Awards from 124 nominations. In the 14th episode of the third season, titled "Whose Appy Now?", the growing tensions between Carter and Benson were the background to Carter performing one of his first surgeries on Benton to remove his appendix.

The two characters had a rocky relationship in the early days - Benton was Carter's supervisor during a third-year rotation to the ER, and from the start their personalities clashed. Over time, they grew to respect each other, and formed a meaningful friendship.

Answer: Diagnosis Murder

"Diagnosis Murder" (1993-2001) began as a spinoff from "Jake and the Fatman", becoming a TV series after initial development as a series of telemovies. Dick van Dyke played Dr. Mark Sloan, who rarely seemed to have time to practice medicine as he busily assisted the LAPD, most notably in the person of his son Steve Sloan (played by van Dyke's second son Barry), in solving murders. If you look closely, you will note that a number of members of the supporting cast bear a striking resemblance to each other.

This is due to a bit of nepotism - Dick's brother Jerry and his daughter Stacy both made guest appearances, as did Barry's children Carey, Shane, Wes and Taryn.

Answer: Donald "Ducky" Mallard

"NCIS" (also earlier called "Navy NCIS" and "NCIS: NAVAL Criminal Investigative Service") first aired in September 2003. The show focused on the investigation of crimes that involve the Department of the Navy, either because of the location or due to the involvement of navy personnel. These four characters were part of the team from its beginning.

"Ducky" Mallard, a Scottish-born and trained doctor who had a habit of talking to the corpses brought into his autopsy room, and who tended to digress into extensive reminiscences at the drop of a hat, was, of course, an expert at detecting crucial information during his work as Chief Medical Examiner for the team. He was played by David McCallum, who had been one of the stars of the 1960s show "The Man from Uncle", along with Robert Vaughan. This was referred to in "NCIS" when Gibbs, asked what Ducky looked like as a young man, answered laconically "Illya Kuryakin" - McCallum's character on the earlier show.

Answer: Frasier

Frasier lived with his father Martin and Martin's dog Eddie. His brother Niles, also a psychiatrist, was a frequent visitor, as much to be near Daphne, Martin's physiotherapist, as to play one-upmanship games with his brother.

The premise of "Frasier" (1993-2004) was that Frasier returned to Seattle following his divorce from Lilith (who made some appearances in episodes involving their son Frederick) and felt obliged to share his anticipated bachelor residence with his father, injured in a shooting incident while he had been working for the Seattle Police Department. The clash of personalities between the down-to-earth father and his two would-be-sophisticated sons was played for laughs, and their deep love for each other was always just under the surface of the friction.

Answer: Robert Young

Robert Young played both Jim Anderson (father to Bud, Betty and Kitty, husband of Margaret) on "Father Knows Best" and the title character on "Marcus Welby, M.D.", which ran from 1969 until 1976. This show also starred James Brolin as his young motorcycle-riding partner, Steve Kiley. The show paid no attention to the concept of medical specialisation - Welby dealt with issues ranging from breast cancer to brain damage, from depression to STDs, from leukemia to Alzheimer's, including performing an appendectomy on Kate Gannard, title character of the season 6 episode "The Unindicted Wife".

The night before an orthopedic surgeon who bore a striking resemblance to Robert Young was due to put pins in my broken ankle, Dr. Welby lost his patient, which rarely happened. Unnerving, but my surgeon fared better.

Answer: The Simpsons

Dr. Nick, who displayed ostensible degrees from such illustrious institutions as Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, Mayo Clinic Correspondence School and Club Med School on his office wall, made the remark quoted in the question during the episode "Homer's Triple Bypass" in the fourth season of "The Simpsons" (which first aired as a full-length show in the US in 1989) as viewers saw that Mr. McGregg had a leg extending from one shoulder, and an arm dangling from one hip. The Simpsons resorted to him when they discovered that heart surgery was very expensive when conducted by orthodox surgeons. Dr. Nick's rented instructional video turned out to be missing some important steps (most of them), but 8-year-old Lisa was able to prompt him through the surgery on the basis of her research. Their choice of Dr. Nick for this surgery was made more puzzling by the fact that it was not their first encounter - he was the charlatan to whom that outstanding ambulance-chaser Lionel Hutz had turned to get 'expert' testimony as to Bart's fictitious injuries in the second season episode "Bart Gets Hit by a Car". Nevertheless, Dr. Nick's willingness to perform the operation for $129.95 was apparently attractive enough to override any doubts they may have felt.

In keeping with the theme for this quiz, Dr. Nick Riviera was the anaesthetist when Dr. Hibbert removed Bart's appendix in the sixth season episode "'Round Springfield", although the operation proceeded with little assistance from Dr. Nick, as he managed to inhale enough of the anesthetic to pass out at an early stage.