Absurd French 505 Trivia Quiz

Answer: The pink turtle appears at midnight.

This might come in handy for a password! This illustrates the difficulty to distinguish between midnight and noon for many foreign speakers of French.

Answer: Sophie dreams of becoming the hairdresser of the stars.

Sophie's dream is to become a hairdresser of the stars. Une vedette is one of those invariables, star is most often used but when you say 'Jean-Paul Belmondo est une vedette' you leave it feminine. A vedette is also a large boat, probably the equivalent of a speed boat but with passengers.

Answer: How many lumps of sugar would you like in your nose?

This is a famous cartoon by Claire Bretacher. Normally you'd ask how many sucres (short for sucre cube) someone might like in their tea or coffee. However, the gentleman whom the lady had invited to dinner had a rather unfortunately shaped cauliflower nose and she'd warned her children not to mention it.

They managed for about an hour and then after holding back, she blew it and asked the gentleman how many sugar cubes he'd like in his nose, the and nez rhyming! It's a great cartoon. Le sucre cannot normally be divided so you'd normally use 'du' with it. 'vous prenez du sucre?' But as the French really prefer sugar cubes for coffee or tea, the use is changed in this instance.

Answer: I can't see the forest for the trees.

You might have noticed that I've translated this as 'cannot' which is how it's truly used in French. If I'd said 'je ne trouve pas mes chaussettes' I would never say in English 'I do not find my socks'. 'Je ne vois pas ni la foret ni les arbres' the forest nor the trees. 'Je ne vois pas les arbres dans la foret' = 'I don't see the trees in the forest' or 'I can't see the trees in the forest.'

Answer: Excuse me, but your iguana's hat is dragging on the ground.

Trainer = most often means dragging. If I tell my children, 'ne trainez pas vos pieds parterre'. I mean, 'don't drag your feet on the ground.' Un chapeau d'iguane might indicate an Iguana skin hat and with the wild fashions this year (2002) I wouldn't be surprised! I'm still contemplating snake printed underthings!

Answer: My co-worker sends his excuses, he left with the extra-terrestrials.

The presentation of excuses is a fine art in France and not to be taken lightly. If you call someone up, 'je me permets de vous appeler'. ET in French, as I'm sure you've always wanted to know, says, 'telephone, maison, telephone, maison' as he points his skinny finger towards his home.

The trendy word for co-worker is now 'collaborateur' or 'collaboratrice' but personally I tend to steer clear of this term.

Answer: The archduchess's pocket knife is dry or very dry.

This stems from the tongue twister 'les chaussettes de l'archiduchesse sont-elles seches ou archi-seches?' But, I've modified it a bit. Un canif is a pocketknife. Un caniche is a poodle. Archi is used as a modifier in everyday language.

Answer: Pardon me, would you happen to have a light?

This is the way to ask someone for a light for your cigarette. The conditional is always more polite. In student environments and when you're fairly young, the tu might be used from the start, it all depends. With the vous, you'll never go wrong. Always remember to let them take the lead.

Answer: Once upon a time, there was a girl called little red riding hood.

Curiously enough, little Red is named for her headgear which is masculine rather than her own gender. And once upon a time is phrased 'il etait une fois'. You'll have to admit, it's just as obtuse as the phrase 'once upon a time'. Un chapon is a chicken who has had his gender somewhat modified for eating purposes!

Answer: Excuse me, but did you know that you had a duck on the roof of your convertible?

The word for convertible is decapotable. Decapiter is to behead, hence the reference to the guillotine.