Affected Latin: Phrases For Contemporary Use Quiz

Answer: My dog ate it.

The 1999 BBC article entitled "Handy Latin Phrases" states, "There are two kinds of Latin speaker. There is the kind who slowly form an appreciation and understanding of the language, finding the right word to use and learning to conjugate verbs ... The second kind of Latin speaker just memorises lists of quotations, and merely uses them to impress." This quiz is designed to evaluate and assist that second kind of Latin speaker: the kind of person whose bumper sticker suggests "Sona si latine loqueris" - Honk if you speak Latin; the kind of person whose t-shirt informs the reader "Latine loqui coactus sum"- I have this compulsion to speak Latin. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A218882)

Answer: A couch potato

The plethora of sites that provide Latin phrases for contemporary use sometimes translate their Latin rather loosely. Although a "lectus" is certainly a Latin word for "couch", translating "radix", the Latin word for "root", as "potato", might be considered a liberal translation.

Answer: Things go better with coke

Yuni.com maintains an extensive list of Latin phrases ranging from famous quotes by Ovid to Latinized phrases suitable for bumper stickers. The list is alphabetized by the first letter of the Latin quotation.

Answer: Qui vir odiosus!

Loose translation renders the above phrases as follows:

"Qui vir odiosus!" - What a bore!

"Te odeo, interfice te cochleare!" - I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon.

"Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris!" - If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione!" - I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

Answer: Everybody's doing it.

Chris Kawalek indicates that his online collection of Latin sayings has been amassed over an eight year period utilizing contributions from others: http://www.rktekt.com/ck/LatSayings.html
Among the utilitarian phrases on his site is "Da mihi sis cerevisiam dilutam" - I'll have a light beer.

Answer: Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business!

The above t-shirt has been spotted on college campuses. Classics majors tend to score well in GRE examinations and a classics major is considered an asset for the purpose of gaining entry to medical school.
http://wings.buffalo.edu/academic/department/AandL/classics/why_major.html

Answer: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

"Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima?" is the Latin phrase for "Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?"
http://www.funehumor.com/fun_doc5/fun_0579.shtml has a fine collection of humorous Latin phrases.

Answer: Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt.

The above phrases could be translated:

"Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt" - When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

"Frena pro feris teneo" - I brake for animals.

"Sona si latine loqueris" - Honk if you speak Latin.

"Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades" - If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated, and much too close.

Instantattitudes.com sells a number of Latin bumper stickers including "Sona si latine loqueris". One of their t-shirts is emblazoned with the Latin for "You cannot know the power of the dark side".

Answer: A spoon

Do you often feel constrained in expressing enthusiasm or astonishment? Should you trot out a tired yet restrained cliché such as "truly remarkable", just let loose with a heartfelt yet plebian "awesome"? Use of a Latin phrase allows one to express enthusiasm with dignity. Who would ever suspect that "Fac me cocleario vomere" could be translated as "Gag me with a spoon"?

Answer: Insula Gilliganensis

"Insula Gilliganis" is "Gilligan's Island"; "Dies Felices" is "Happy Days"; "Zona Crepusculi" is "The Twilight Zone"; and "Id Castori Concedite" is "Leave It To Beaver".

Perhaps you're concerned about the difficulty in pulling off the pronunciation of these Latin phrases? Of course, you are unlikely to encounter people who have formal education in Latin and even Latin scholars have never heard a native Latin speaker. But if you are still worried, you may wish to know about "Veni, Vidi, Vici: Conquer Your Enemies, Impress Your Friends with Everyday Latin" by Eugene H. Ehrlich. The book includes guidance as to pronunciation.

Inspiration for this quiz was provided by AmoMerionesUnguiculatus.