What Happens After - Gulp - Death? Quiz

Answer: Take it with them on family outings

In a part of eastern Indonesia called Tana Toraja, funeral services - when they eventually take place - involve the entire village in a massive celebration. During these occasions, a water buffalo is then sacrificed to carry the remains of the deceased into the afterlife with it.

However, long before that hearty occasion takes place, and this can sometimes be years, the dead person, who is kept in a separate bedroom in the house, is still treated as a living entity. This treatment includes symbolic feeding and tending to, and being tidied up to accompany the family whenever they go out. "Oh look, here comes some Australian tourists. Let's introduce them to mother".

Answer: Coloured beads

This is a practice carried out in quite a few South Korean homes today. Part of the reason for it is the lack of burial grounds in the highly populated, but small, nation. By the year 2000, this lack of space had become such a problem that the government of South Korea passed a law stating that deceased loved ones could only remain in the cold, cold ground for a maximum of sixty years. Following this, the bodies have to be removed. Understandably, this has given rise to a hearty demand for cremations instead of burials.

Many families though don't like the idea of the ashes of relatives simply remaining in urns for the rest of eternity. So they have them compressed into beads of various colours instead, which are then strung up around the family home.

In fact, there are quite a few companies in this country doing a roaring trade in this new form of employment. So aunty Bella could be dangling in lovely shades of pink or turquoise above the mantelpiece if you like, or uncle Fred in a dashing shade of red above the entrance to the library.

It's a rather lovely idea really when you think about it. Providing happy memories and a touch of colour all at the same time. I think I'd like to be cream and pink, with a dash of crimson here and there. So tasteful.

Answer: Under the kitchen

How terrible to be buried for all eternity under a kitchen if you hated cooking with a passion. Why the kitchen is chosen for interring relatives is unknown, but it is possibly because, in most homes, the kitchen is always the hub of family activity. Either that, or they wish to discourage over-eating in the population.

In the north-west of the Philippines, the Benguet people place blindfolds around the eyes of deceased relatives, and then place them at the front door of their homes. That's some welcome mat.

Their neighbours, the Tinguian people, dress relatives up in their very best clothing, and then sit them on a comfortable chair, and put lit cigarettes in their mouths. It doesn't indicate for how long both these practices are carried out - but smoking it seems, really is a health hazard. To the west of the country near Manilla, the Caviteno people, when they know death is approaching, select a tree.

This is then hollowed out, and, following death, the deceased is enclosed in there. That seems quite sensible. One is still working after death by providing fertiliser to a living plant, in a kind of "grow with your woe" philosophy.

Answer: In the ocean

These environmentally friendly funerals, depending on your idea of friendly, consist of the following: 1. Bodies are no longer embalmed. 2. Concrete vaults are a thing of the past. Thank goodness - it's really annoying having to deposit and withdraw money with Dad more or less supervising things. 3. And hideously expensive wooden coffins are now being replaced with biodegradable ones made from wicker instead. These break up quickly once buried, thus, along with their contents, provide fertiliser for the soil.

By 2016, there were already forty environmentally friendly cemeteries in the U.S. Another form of these green funerals, as they're known, is carried out by a firm known as Eternal Reefs. This consists of being turned into a "reef ball", where the deceased's remains are compressed down into a large rounded shape, with several large holes cut out of the sides and top. This is then fixed to a nearby ocean reef to extend that reef and/or to begin to form a new reef of its own. One supposes it could eventually be eaten away by fish, but the company describes it tastefully (pardon the pun) as "providing a habitat for sea life" instead. Sounds like a good idea if you've always wished to retire by the coast.

Answer: Dance with them

This ritual by the Malagasy people of Madagascar is known as the turning of the bones. It takes place every five years, when dead relatives are dug up and removed from their crypts. They are then wrapped up in fresh coverings and sprayed with perfume or wine to freshen up a bit.

After this the entire village is invited along, and a band is hired or volunteers its services. Then, as the celebration and festivity continues, family members of the deceased take the body for a quick foxtrot or two around the dance floor.

This happy event, which quite possibly traumatises younger family members for life, also includes passing on the latest bits of family gossip and news to the grinning corpse, and asking for a blessing from a bony hand. Ah, the good old days, children. Do you remember the night grandpop's head fell off and rolled over to the punch? He always did like a drop or two.

Answer: Fed to the dogs

Whether this is still carried out today in Mongolia remains questionable, but it is thought to still be the case in at least some areas of this large nation. Far from being disrespectful to the body of the deceased however, the Mongolians followed very strict steps in a funeral service, most of which are to honour that loss. Well, apart from being fed to Fido, that is. Lamas, the venerated spiritual leaders of Mongolia have to oversee the whole process, and to omit any step along the way is to invite bad karma into one's life.

Depending on the deceased's position in society, the specific day, time and direction of the entourage is initially decided upon by the lama. Food and prayers are offered in the interim between death and final destination, in order to ward off evil spirits. Blue stones are also placed around the body of the deceased during this period for the same reason. The body cannot be touched by anyone on its last day except for the lama. Then, once stripped naked and laid into a foetal position, a white veil is placed over its face, special incense is burned, and the grieving males line up on the right side of the yurt and the women on the left. Following this, the body is handed out through a window, so as to prevent evil coming in through an open door. Then comes the bad part. For several days leading up to the ultimate destination, the village dogs have been chained up and left unfed. As the body is placed on open ground some distance away from the yurt, stones are laid around it to mark its position - and then the starving dogs are let loose to do their work.

Answer: No

No doubt you've all seen images of Viking warriors taking their final journey to the hall of heroes at Valhalla, by having their bodies placed on ships which were then set alight and sent drifting out to sea. While this may have taken place now and then, it was hardly practical given the work that went into the making of a ship, so it very seldom occurred in reality. Most Vikings were buried in large graves the *shape* of a ship instead, ones that were lined with stones.

A few were buried in small boats, but not many.

Their worldly possessions were buried with them, along with some food, and occasionally some sort of transportation, such as a horse or wagon. Some were cremated first, but most just decomposed naturally on their way to Valhalla. Weapons for men of course were included in the graves, as were jewels and other precious goods for women.

Answer: Enough deaths to fill a mass grave

Bali funerals ceremonies relied on the number of deaths that took place in that land. On the death of an individual though, a preliminary small ceremony included lining both sides of the road leading to the hut of the deceased to announce that death had taken place, and then an initial burial in the mass grave.

However, before the much greater celebrations could be held at a later time, enough people had to die in Bali to fill a mass grave for this to occur. It could theoretically be years in between celebrations.

When this marker was finally reached however, all the bodies, or what was left of them, were unearthed, cleaned, and tidied up. They were then stacked on a beautifully decorated float and adorned with flowers from that lovely land, before being paraded down through the settlement to its heart.

There the float was set alight, and this marked the beginning of a wonderful period of celebration, singing, dancing and feasting for everyone. Not a bad way to go. A bit hot, but happy enough when all was said and done.

Answer: Head dug up and polished and kept on the mantelpiece

In beautiful Kiribati, the death process was perhaps not quite so beautiful whichever way you look at it, although it wasn't that bad when compared to some of the others in this quiz. Following death, the deceased was placed upon a couch in his house, where, depending on his or her status in society, it remained from three to twelve days. During this time, friends and relatives visited and brought gifts of a local pudding made from the roots of a plant grown there.

This was offered to the unresponsive deceased, but no doubt appreciated by the rest of his living family in his stead.

The body was then subsequently buried, but, after a period of several months, was then unearthed again. At this time, the head was removed from the rest of the corpse.

The rest of the body was buried once more, but the skull was oiled and polished to perfection, and then gravely offered gifts of tobacco and food. After this took place, the skull remained on a shelf in the family home indefinitely, where, hopefully, it was never accidentally used as an ash tray.

Answer: Its nose had to be sewn to its burial bag

Burial at sea was a case of necessity of course for most sea-faring countries in the good old days before refrigeration and what have you - but the British did everything with such flair and finesse that they deserve a special mention. Having one's nose sewn to one's burial bag was perhaps not as sophisticated and elegant as we've come to expect of the Brits, but the ceremony was stirring enough, with or without any nose. The traditional bag - or shroud if you prefer - that the deceased was placed into was usually made of burlap, as this material was cheap and always available on board ship. The deceased had to be sewn up inside that bag, which had to be also filled with cannonballs or some other heavy weight in order for it to actually sink. One, after all, didn't want a dead body bobbing along in the ship's wake in a frantic effort to catch up.

Once on deck, the body bag was placed under the flag of the ship's nation, suitable prayers were recited and a few words spoken by the ship's captain, before the bag slid or was pushed from under the flag to begin its long journey down to Davy Jones locker.

Why sew the nose to the bag you ask? Because it was believed this was so painful that a person who wasn't really dead at all could be brought back to full consciousness again from the shock. How undignified though to go to one's eternal rest with your nose sewn to a burlap bag.