Die Laughing Trivia Quiz

Answer: Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson pioneered the celebrity chat show format in which the host added their own bag of jokes and barbed witticisms aimed at his guests. He hosted the Tonight show between 1962 and 1992 perfecting a format not only emulated in the US but throughout the world.

Answer: Woody Allen

This quote has been attributed to several other comedians including Britain's Spike Milligan, featured elsewhere in this quiz.

Certainly plagiarism isn't unknown on the comedy circuit, indeed many comics were flattered when a 'heavyweight' comic used one of their lines.

The legendary Al Jolson took it a stage further, sending his agents around the stand-up circuit and not only using their best material but also applying to copyright the jokes and then banning the author from using their own material.

This line was published in one of Allen's earliest works 'Death' a one-Act play published in 1975.

Answer: Emo Phillips

US comedian Emo Phillips' fame peaked in the 1980s, briefly finding fame in Europe as well as the US.

His surrealism and neurotically weird stage persona meant that he was never going to become established as fully mainstream.

For the connoisseur of surreal humour he has some jokes to rival the Monty Python's uncanniness. My favourite Phillips joke is: "a computer beat me at chess but was no match for me at kickboxing".

Answer: Groucho Marx

Julius "Groucho" Marx was arguably America's greatest comedian and undoubtedly master of the one liner.

HIs virtuoso performances in movies like 'Duck Soup' were entirely improvised.

Groucho found it impossible not to make a joke out of any situation, however bad. When he and his daughter were refused entry to a swimming baths because he was Jewish he used his wit to cut through the illogicality of intolerance with the retort: "Well, my daughter is half-Jewish - can she go in up to her waist?"

Groucho's witticisms are very distinctive, having both a particular rhythm and use of conjunctions to deliver the killer punchline. Consider this great quote from 'A Day at the Races' (checking the patient's pulse): "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped".

Answer: Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers rose to prominence in the mid 1960s on the 'Tonight' programme hosted by Johnny Carson.

Joan was not only an accomplished stand-up comic but also turned her hand to acting, writing, production and hosting her own chat show. She found success both in the US as well as in the UK.

Joan built a career on pushing boundaries, often controversial. Her humour was both waspish and self-deprecating. A lot of her best jokes are a bit too near the knuckle to repeat here, although this one is pretty good:
"When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off."

Answer: Yogi Berra

I cannot decide whether Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra was an intentional or unintentional genius.

Apart from being one of the all time greats as a baseball catcher for the New York Yankees he was also a hugely successful coach. It is unusual for great players to become great coaches but Yogi Berra was a giant in both fields.

If that was not enough he coined some of the funniest and most used one liners on the planet. The phrase "It ain't over 'til it's over" is a phrase so commonly used that I assumed it's always been part of modern speech but this is but one of the great lines he come up with.

As I say, his sayings are very funny although I cannot decide whether they were intended or not. Irrespective, his one liners are some of the funniest you will find anywhere. Here's one of my favourites: "When you come to a fork in the road - take it". Pure genius.

Answer: Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan was one of the founder members of the Goons along with Peter Sellers, Michael Bentine and Harry Secombe, who also carved out a career as a singer. The Goons were trailblazers in absurd humour and were one of the key inspirations for Monty Python. He was notoriously unpredictable and anarchic in his humour which often got him into trouble with TV and radio stations who struggled to control this unruly but brilliant comic.

He did a brilliantly funny cameo for the Pythons in their movie "The Life of Brian" although, unpredictable as ever, failed to turn up for the afternoon's filming to complete the shot. What was filmed made the final cut.

Spike cared little for what people thought of him and so would often say outrageous things. Prince Charles (now King Charles III) was a keen fan of the Goons and become a close friend of Spike. On being handed a lifetime award at the 1994 Comedy Awards and having a letter read to him from the (then) Prince of Wales, an unphased Spike called him "a grovelling little bastard" which brought the house down. The clip is available on You Tube - see it for yourself.

Spike is credited by Professor Richard Wiseman with writing the funniest joke in the world. The comment by the way was made upon hearing of the death of fellow Goon, Harry Secombe and was vintage Spike Milligan. Ironically, when Spike himself died in 2002 a recording of one of Harry's songs was played at his funeral.

Answer: Stan Laurel

Stan Laurel was born Arthur S. Jefferson in Ulverston. Best known for his partnership with Oliver Hardy they were best known for their slapstick humour, although Stan would take his art very seriously, writing and re-writing his lines, Ollie would prefer to play golf and turn up when he had to in order to deliver his lines.

Stan's jokes were usually ridiculous statements like "A lot of weather we're having lately" or "you can bring a horse to water but a pencil must be lead".

The genius of Laurel and Hardy was their timing which turned the simple act of falling over into an act of hilarity. The pair made it look natural and effortless where, in fact, pulling off such moves are very hard and left to many lesser comics look contrived and unconvincing.

Answer: Bob Monkhouse

Better known in the UK than the US, Bob Monkhouse was a stand up comic and TV personality, predominantly as host to game shows.

He was a prolific writer of gags and a keen supporter of comics from 'over the pond'. Amongst others he introduced Jim Carrey, Kelly Monteith and Robin Williams to the UK.

He also wrote jokes for American and Canadian comedians, most famously for Bob Hope when he performed in the UK.

Bob Monkhouse's stand-up style was quickfire and has been copied by several UK comics, notably Jimmy Carr. I think my favourite Bob Monkhouse joke is "People laughed when I told them I wanted to be a comic. Well they're not laughing now."

Answer: Steven Wright

In the same way the Bob Monkhouse is best know in the UK, so Steven Wright is better known in the USA, which is a shame. Steven's deadpan delivery is the perfect counter-point to his absurd sense of humour.

Despite winning numerous awards and being considered by critics 'stateside' to be one of America's finest his wit has somehow failed to be appreciated outside of his home country. It's baffling when you consider such gems as these:
"Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories." and;
"I remember the day the candle shop burnt down. Everybody just stood around and sang 'Happy birthday'." and; "I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add" and "If you were in a vehicle travelling at the speed of light and you turned the lights on, would they do anything?"

That final brilliant line came from Steven's explosion onto the American consciousness on 'Friday Night Live' in 1982, introduced by Johnny Carson. Which brings me full circle.